Viceland - MAZEL TOV!

Berel is a Hasidic Jew who I always see hanging around at parties and stuff. I asked him what it’s like to be “of the people” and he invited me to go to a real-life Hasidic wedding with him. So we hopped in a car with a couple other Hasids and headed upstate. The other people in the car asked me tricky questions like, “Is Jesus son of God, or is he God?” and I didn’t have a satisfactory answer. I was especially unsure who the Holy Ghost was.

PATRICK O’DELL

[Slide the scroll bar below to view all of the photos]

Comments:

Subject: Funny but ignorant
Date: Nov 09 2007 02:06:19 PM
Author: Chusid boy

Patrick,

Thanks for the pics. My wife and I got a pretty good laugh out of it. I must say though, you're quite ignorant. You made your own assumptions as to what was going on when. For example, the captions stating "reading from papers", "praying". You don't know anything. Tell Berrel to explain it all to you, if you care to understand.

Subject: hhhm
Date: Aug 27 2007 01:32:03 PM
Author: Silvi

ich weiß nicht ob es an der übersetzung liegt, aber ich finde viele kommentare unter den fotos überhaupt nicht lustig und finde es auch kindisch sich ausschließlich über andere sitten lustig zu machen...naja...

Subject: hilariousity
Date: Jul 20 2006 03:51:05 AM
Author: eden

i think my brother is friends with berel and he got this and emailed it to me. anyway, i'm glad i looked because it is comedic gold. g-d i love hasidim. always good for a laugh. but really, fab job on the captions, they gave me many a good chuckle. i also loved the audioclip. hats off to you, gentlemen.

Subject: score
Date: Jan 01 2006 03:34:44 PM
Author: konshuss

best part is the difference in expression on the groom between the before and after-he-sees-her pics. he probably whipped off a batch right on the spot!

Subject: hollarrrrgh
Date: Dec 26 2005 11:27:50 PM
Author: horses+hiphop

berel came to the shenan show with me and ian and cat. i think he might have met my mom.

berel is a stand up guy.

thanks vice, this was really weird.

Subject: keep it up
Date: Dec 24 2005 10:16:58 AM
Author: fightingnewfoundlander

awesome awesome awesome

Subject: o'dell.com.org/html
Date: Dec 20 2005 12:04:01 PM
Author: katie

patrick is so lovely and funny and wonderful...those are the best photos i have looked at in probably two weeks!
so nice.

Subject: nice job bro
Date: Dec 12 2005 07:36:07 PM
Author: danny

best article of the issue. nice one, o'dell.

Subject: Well said, niggas.
Date: Dec 10 2005 04:20:42 PM
Author: Gerg

Vice is fuckin' good. A lot of people seem to have something bad to say about it and I think they should not be so jealous of things that are funnier than them. Funny is funny, you can't fuck with A PRIORI.

Subject: Great article
Date: Dec 07 2005 07:10:01 AM
Author: Woot

Lots of fun to read and great photos. Thankyou.
People really do overanalyse articles here. I wish it was more like "Oh hey I don't like this writer very much. Can we get a new one?" or "Get this person to write more!"

I say the latter here.

Subject: wow
Date: Dec 06 2005 06:49:00 PM
Author: mendy

unbelievable nice pics who takes care on this thing

Subject: fun
Date: Dec 06 2005 06:23:48 PM
Author: skip

fun article!

Subject: yes yes yes
Date: Dec 06 2005 03:55:29 PM
Author: andypop

Love this, finally something without nipples where I actually learned something.

Subject: ahemm...
Date: Dec 06 2005 01:37:42 PM
Author: THE N Cab

Wow, that was the most fun I've had since I last shit my pants on a bad acid trip. Who gives a fuck, and how bummed must the bride have been with cartoon JEWBOY.

Subject: white jew is cursed
Date: Dec 05 2005 11:43:32 PM
Author: jew

Jewry is unamerican and exclusive. However, jews are sheltered from scrutny because of white conspiracy to bond facke whitness and alienate black people.

Subject: why?
Date: Dec 05 2005 07:40:29 PM
Author: just terrible

every single one of your articles is shit vice.

Subject: bjesus
Date: Dec 05 2005 02:39:32 PM
Author: whatthehell

being an indian
and knowing that i culture
is pretty well fuck'd
being look'd at like the flintstones

man....
you fuckin whites(jews also... cause jew is white to me too)

one day the great mystery of life is going to comeback
and take a shit
and say thanks bjesus
that you kids keep shit up

we are a huge truck stop.... to eat sleep and take shits

have fun

Subject: yshai
Date: Dec 05 2005 10:47:40 AM
Author: moshiach

yshai is the best!

Subject: Wedding
Date: Dec 05 2005 04:07:15 AM
Author: Jay

Some of you guys are nuts, its really sad that you guys dont realize that in fact this is the USA and we all have the right to live our lives any way we please, so please dont tell the hasidim to get out of the USA, why dont you mind your own goddamn fucking business, asshole! That was one beautiful wedding of people who live a life of meaning, they believe in something special and they chose to live it that way. Thanks for the pictures.

Subject: different hats
Date: Dec 02 2005 05:49:26 PM
Author: haberdasher

Those huge fur cylinder hats are amazing! Why didn't Madonna steal that instead of some red ribbon bracelet?

Subject: shabat
Date: Dec 01 2005 07:29:35 PM
Author: ad

fiddler on the roof style...LOVE IT!

patrick is awesome

the end.

Subject: Jewry unAmerican
Date: Dec 01 2005 01:37:13 PM
Author: me

Jews!! You have to integrate and assimilate your community to American culture.

I mean, we are always demanding that blacks act like mainstream American culture, are we not.

Why is it that the Chinese community is able to establish a Chinatown without white criticism? Is it because of the white husbands innate sexual indiscretion, and fetish for the Asian women, similarly to the white mans fetish for the African women during American slavery and colonization of the North America region?
However, black economic and cultural development efforts are challenged violently and loudly, by rich and poor whites, through the political process, finiancial institutions, and other economic and legal processes? Why are whites frightened by African American progress?

Subject: shemegel
Date: Nov 30 2005 11:02:35 PM
Author: bagel

Yeah great another jew gets married tro another jew, how unamerican is it?

these bagel benders need to know this is the USA so if they want to be jew go to isreal. where the hell do they think they are.

Black are always persecuted for having distinct cultural expression, so what about these fucking jews?

fuck them I did not have anything to do with the holocost so get the hell of my face jew.

Subject: sheet sex
Date: Nov 30 2005 04:08:20 PM
Author: j.

Hasidic Jews don't actually have sex through a hole in a sheet. They are actually really sexual once they get married. I guess from all that not having sex before and all.

Subject: dayum
Date: Nov 30 2005 02:19:53 PM
Author: samantha

hasids seem a little dry. except the guy you bummed a ride with. he's up for the get down. i'd be his friend.

Subject: jews
Date: Nov 29 2005 11:57:22 PM
Author: Tracy Vanity

That photo where it says "You can’t tell by these pictures, but it’s really dark and the only light is from the candles. This is all very haunting. I was told that the Hasidim are really into mysticism." the guy getting married is making a weird face like Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10102000/1010240
7.jpg

Subject: ( . )( . )
Date: Nov 29 2005 06:03:23 PM
Author: tits

I'd sure like to "impound" the little sweet knish at the end there. Know what I mean? I mean I wanna f6ck her and then go "oh vey" all over her face. Yeah....

Subject: count me in!
Date: Nov 29 2005 05:59:07 PM
Author: noob jewboob

i think i just realized judaism is the best religion ever!

booze, ganja, and hot babes.

circumsize me!

Subject: berg
Date: Nov 29 2005 03:35:28 PM
Author: Finkelberg

Cool.
But why do they shove pork chops in the bride's c*nt? Just wondering.

BTW, all those guys look familiar. No?

Subject: bagel benders
Date: Nov 29 2005 11:37:43 AM
Author: Kenton Schmitt

Aren't these the guys that kidnap little blonde girls and sell them to pimps in Israel?

Subject: .edu
Date: Nov 29 2005 05:52:41 AM
Author: s m r t

today, i learned that jews dont wear seatbelts.

Subject: •
Date: Nov 28 2005 09:56:24 AM
Author: issue23

who gives a fuck?

Subject: wow, curls
Date: Nov 27 2005 02:02:38 PM
Author: naveline

Berel is hot. Exactly what I'm looking for.

Subject: time to move on
Date: Nov 27 2005 08:54:09 AM
Author: god knows i\'m sorry

why the fuck do people still insist on segregating the sexes? we got condoms now, whats the big fuckin deal. I think the religious world is and always was ruled by power-tripping rapist ingrown-fags. nothin against my many flute-mad brothers, mind--just the twisted repressed ones who aint got the cajones to admit they want peen in their bums. i wonder who's more cock-mad, hasidm,the muslims in kandahar, or professional wrestlers? great photos btw

Subject: pot
Date: Nov 26 2005 03:23:50 PM
Author: hayden

That must be the skimpest little joint I've ever seen. Otherwise, great photos.

Subject: Jew-cifer
Date: Nov 26 2005 12:09:23 PM
Author: penisenvy

1) Damn...'sup with the demonic Jew Red-eye shit?

2) Damn...they had some nice Jew-green in that joint.

3) Damn...that Jew-chick from the "impounded car couple" was hot...in a "chosen one" kind of way.

4) Damn...that Jew-groom REALLY was crying.

5) Damn...Hasidic Jews are very-very gay.

Subject: no offense, i swear.
Date: Nov 26 2005 11:54:58 AM
Author: goy.

do they really fuck through a sheet or did Larry David make that shit up?

Subject: God
Date: Nov 26 2005 01:05:41 AM
Author: Issa

Jesus is both...He is God made flesh. The Blessed Virgin excepted God's will to bear The Lord's only begotten son, thus making the divine into flesh.

Oh yeah, and also...The Holy Ghost is the Spirit of God. Just as man is body, mind and spirit so is God a trinity...the Son, God and the Holy Ghost which is uttered in the traditional latin blessing, "In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritu Sancti. Amen."

Subject: private room
Date: Nov 25 2005 11:05:04 PM
Author: shmuel

when they go into the private room to "talk", they are supposed to have sex for the first time. i used to cater those events in jerusalem at a hassidic wedding hall.

Subject: brrrrrrrr
Date: Nov 25 2005 07:43:59 PM
Author: me

this slideshow for sure is a freakshow

Subject: great article
Date: Nov 25 2005 05:02:50 PM
Author: sach

A+ :)

Subject: Cheebrew
Date: Nov 25 2005 10:42:49 AM
Author: Quinn

Did Jewish people discover pot? It seems to me that a lot of heebs love the cheeb.

Subject: oy vay!
Date: Nov 25 2005 07:18:42 AM
Author: sea above, sky below

i had a roomate once that went through a slightly more mild version of this whole schtick but it was similar nonetheless. it was odd because before he got hitched he was like 'yeah, i know this shit is kind of crazy, man. hey, let's go get some beers!' and stuff, then -- afterwards -- he just transformed into this crazy-religious, "family" type guy that would never hang out with us and shopped at old navy. i think every guy has that little baby-jock way inside of us that's like 'that'd be 'sweet' to have some girl picked out for me,' but then the actual, normal side of us goes 'aww, man, i'm way too lazy to have any kind of religious beliefs, EVEN if it meant i'd get laid by default.'

Subject: jews
Date: Nov 25 2005 04:20:50 AM
Author: catholic

"this guy had a candlestick horn and a different hat" best fucking slideshow ever

Subject: thanksgiving day
Date: Nov 24 2005 09:23:58 PM
Author: dj legendary set

you should be thanksgiving for thanksgiving day really when you think about it. we have guy fawkes.

Subject: who cares
Date: Nov 24 2005 02:18:55 PM
Author: thanksgivingsux

what difference does it make if is he son or god himself? the world is still a fucked up planet either way. plus, we have to still deal with fucking thanksgiving fucking day.