UNLESS YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO FETISHISES THIN BLACK teenagers, sex symbols in the grime scene have always been a little thin on the ground. So when we first heard Lady Sovereign chat, we instantly caught semis, imagining a hyped-up Minnie Mouse of grime. Then we saw her in the video for The Streets' "Fit But You Know It (remix)", thought she looked 12 and hated ourselves for even thinking about rag-dolling the "5'1 rhythm vandalist". We later discovered she was actually a 17-year-old from Neasden, who loves McDonalds and video games and when not signing to Island for 3 million pounds and recording a tune with Roll Deep's Riko in prison, spends her time riding around Clapham on a red chopper trying to rid the world of "blah-barians".

VICE: I guess it's hard to date anyone from the grime scene…
Lady Sovereign: Kind of. It's hard for me, I don't know if people are approaching me for the right reasons. I get confused sometimes whether people are being real to me or whatnot. I'm single at the moment; I've just learnt to wait for the right person to come along rather than going out and looking. You've just gotta be careful these days, innit? Especially in the grime scene. Some people might be ashamed to tell you things, like you could be getting into bed with them and whatnot and next day waking up with a rash or something like that.

Have you ever been on a date where the guy has been really off-key?
This one guy couldn't kiss, I couldn't stand it, he had his lips all over my mouth and he was like a bloody plunger. I just made up an excuse and missed all his phone calls. I hate it when someone can't kiss. That is so important.

Um…Sovereign, what's a blah-barian?
A blah-barian is basically someone who is just blah-ing about you innit. Chatting rubbish and shit and whatever. Someone who's constantly on a talk thing, just tryna pollute people's brains with madness and trying to bring you down, hatin'. I've always had blah-barians. People talking about me and ringing my phone saying, "you think you're this and that", I just play with them and just scare them. God knows how they get my number. I laugh about it most of the time.

MATT MASON
"Random" Featuring Riko is out now on Island Records. Sov's album is dropping later in 2005