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THIS ISSUE:
CHAIR PARTY
PARTY DOWN
PINK PARTY
BELT PARTY TONIGHT
2C-T-FY-DIC.HEAD
HOME SURGERY PARTY
HAMSTER PARTY THROWDOWN
THE VICE GUIDE TO PARTYING
CAPTAIN BRING DOWN SAYS...
HEY DJ, FUCK YOU!
FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT!
FUCKIN' EH!
FANTASY PARTY
BBQ PARTY TODAY, OK?
PARTYING IN PRISON
VICELAND BONUS: PARTY PICS AND MORE

REGULARS:
DEAR DIARY
DOS AND DON'TS
DVDs
ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
FASHION
GAMES
GRIMEWATCH
OUT THERE
PICTURES
POCKETS DUMB FAT
SKINEMA
TIDBITS

BACK ISSUES
GUIDES






Hey, lesbians, why you gotta hate? We're not all bad. Some of us are perfectly able to stop talking to our friends for a minute and help a woman remain decent while she goes. I was there, BTW, and the guy didn't even look at her during the main part. He did threaten to kick my ass after this picture was taken, however, but that's good too.

When Japanese girls dress the same they look like wimps. When white girls do it, it's like two exclamation marks!! Pow!! I am now officially totally into colored tights and I wouldn't have known that if they hadn't hammered it home in double-whammy fashion. OK, I photoshopped out the lip-piercing and now she is totally, 100% perfect. With those huge Cazal glasses and the hat like that, can you imagine how well she dances?

Graffiti gets on my fucking nerves, but this is amazing. It's like a Basquiat fuck-you finger but with funny cartoon balls. Gay bars are filled with incrediby hot girls who dress crazy and want to go somewhere their overwhelming hotness won't lead to lecherous drunks leaning over them all night. If you go there, you will get so horny your pants will rip.

When picking up guys it's important to let them know you are a libidinous woman who respects the guy's body and wants to explore (even his toes).

Recently, we've noticed girls are wearing everything in the world at the same time. It creates an effect called "partying" and often leads to another thing called "fun night." You know when you get really baked and you do a funny dance thing around the living room that makes your sister laugh so hard she pees herself? Some people like that moment so much they decide to do it forever.

If you see a guy in a bar with perfect tits who looks like he might be a go-er, don't be a pussy and sit there staring at him all night. Go up there! Rub your dick against his bare ass until he notices you. Nothing looks better than someone about to get into a fight. Everything about you looks totally on purpose. Even a big beard and a trucker hat makes perfect sense.

Talk about the dos and don'ts in the Vice Forums.



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Comments:

Subject: tights
Date: Apr 26 2005 12:49:45 AM
Author: asdfasdf

AMEN ON THE TIGHTS BOYA!



Subject: vvcx
Date: Apr 20 2005 04:45:55 PM
Author: cvxv

vcxzvxz



Subject: go go boy
Date: Jan 05 2005 10:22:05 PM
Author: danny hunter

hey, i'm the go go boy dancing with the beautiful and amazing amanda lepore. i moved to san francisco, and am persuing a career in adult film while studying law. that pic is hot, and in case any of you were wondering, as amazing as amanda looks she feels even better, and honestly is one of the kindest human beings i've ever met!



Subject: Fart Catching? Don't. 50+ Man? = Do!
Date: Dec 10 2004 03:15:43 PM
Author: Jeez

Who cares about the fart-loving old woman. She nasty. But that man, THAT MAN IS SLAMMIN! Awww yeah! Take me home, Mr. Electrician!



Subject: Ass Grab
Date: Oct 21 2004 03:28:28 PM
Author: Mr. Science

WTF, she looks like she is trying to catch his fart. But that's, like, physically impossible. Duh, what a Don't.



Subject: Damn!
Date: Aug 14 2004 02:18:53 PM
Author: Jeez

Whoah! That old middle-aged guy who is getting his ass grabbed by that old lady is a "DO" in a class all his own - HOT



Subject: first do
Date: Aug 13 2004 03:04:43 AM
Author: hiroshima

That is pete libertine helping maraid queen of noise go to the loo - old picture though



Subject: tra la la
Date: Aug 11 2004 11:04:20 AM
Author: >.jasne*

Ten ziom z broda co sie tak miota przypomina mi jednego kumpla, ale on byl taki czerwony od chlania i juz mu pewnie tak zostanie. Nie mniej sparalizowal mnie ten ziomek w w zielonej polowce jest ostry! pzdr. 4 all



Subject: baked dance
Date: Aug 05 2004 11:01:26 AM
Author: fez

Everytime I see that picture of the japanese lady dancing around, -I- pee myself. And then impersonate til I fall over laughing. Thankyou.



Subject: The Disco Dollies..
Date: Jul 29 2004 07:36:15 AM
Author: ket

..kick arse xx



Subject: Fighting Trucker...
Date: Jul 22 2004 11:18:24 AM
Author: J.D.

looks like ben afflecks street bum twin



Subject: maiden england
Date: Jul 20 2004 01:55:41 AM
Author: spen

i'd like to kiss that brown girl in the green t shirt, she makes me want to live forever



Subject: pre-fight
Date: Jul 14 2004 03:01:38 AM
Author: adjua

Beardy-Mesh-Hat and his "moment" ain't got nothing on the long-haired Indian boy in the camo jacket. What a babe. He gets laid all the time, right? Good.



Subject: hot girls hugging
Date: Jul 09 2004 04:58:00 PM
Author: blind

that "hot girl" in the gay bar hugging 'her' friend is a boy. learn.



Subject: .
Date: Jul 07 2004 12:21:00 AM
Author: ang

anything written without spelling mistakes sounds novel to you stu.

sarnia is just one of many small cities in ontario that breed disillusioned kids who try to 'make it' in toronto.

stu, what small city did you waddle your way from? missisauga?



Subject: penis'
Date: Jul 06 2004 04:26:12 AM
Author: alby

that dick drawing is nice. once one of my mates drew a penis on some wall and for some reason he drew it with the slit going up the side of the nob, and he didn't get why we were giving him shit about it. it was funny, but then we started thinking, and we sort of let it go. poor guy.



Subject: He's HOT!!!
Date: Jun 28 2004 12:34:59 PM
Author: Amanda Lover

Amanda Lepore is one of the hottest guys I've ever seen. He should be in Paper's 50 most hottest bachelor's because he is one of the coolest looking men in New York.



Subject: Girls
Date: Jun 27 2004 10:32:47 AM
Author: Doc

Hey, you see those girls with the tights? I know them! They often come and hang out at my local bar, we usually end up chatting bout old arcade games and kung fu films and hip hop and shit. The one with the green tights, I slept in her bed once and cum all over her foot while she was sleepin



Subject: i see his balls!
Date: Jun 27 2004 04:07:21 AM
Author: frank drebin

the guy dancing with amanda*. right next to her hand you can see a glimpse of nutsack! RAD!

*amanda is not a dude. she had her operation a long time ago and is officially a female. not biologically, but go rent "let me die a woman" and you will agree with me when i say she's earned it.



Subject: also
Date: Jun 22 2004 10:10:02 PM
Author: leashadouceh

is that fuckin' wad in the first pic that guy from the libertines?

it sure as fuck looks like it...



Subject: Hamlet vs. Laertes
Date: Jun 22 2004 06:31:34 PM
Author: g zeus

Ethan Hawk looks very jealous in his trucker hat. Somebody tell him about Mach 3. He's become quite the crotchface.



Subject: aaaaaahhhhhhhhh
Date: Jun 20 2004 09:17:45 AM
Author: Giada

Why is every1 getting so het up over the dos and dont's? It's just a fucking laugh don't take it so seroiusly, christ any1 would think u actually took this advice seriously.



Subject: there's always one......
Date: Jun 18 2004 11:44:08 PM
Author: climax

Everytime I find myself reading do's I always seem to find myself enfatuated with an angel like girl that has such stage prescence on one of the pages. This time it has to be those two girls in color stockings. "I like that."



Subject: sighting
Date: Jun 17 2004 11:05:57 PM
Author: voguewhore

the guy humping amanda is gay porn star danny hunter. he can suck his own cock



Subject: Fight Club
Date: Jun 16 2004 02:41:21 AM
Author: Nemo

The guy in the trucker hat looks like he's busting into a mad enthusiatic 'Humpty Dance' and his boys are like
'Fuck, pardnah, don't hurt 'em!'
but he just has to.
That's what my peeps do anyway...



Subject: rice cakes and peanut butter
Date: Jun 14 2004 03:04:30 PM
Author: vice mags future employee

the guy in the backround of the before fight pic has a snack in hand and probably one of those easy to carry fold out chairs and is ready to see trucker guy get chin checked. look at the dude on the right holding him back...why do people try to hold people back in fights...thats like going to a cock fight and seeing the rosters on leashes.



Subject: amanda lepore
Date: Jun 13 2004 08:24:21 PM
Author: frank drebin

yeah thats the same guy. we're thinking of the same one right? most times he had his caack out and was always on the table next to the DJ booth?

btw that pic of amanda looks like SHIT. i saw her last thursday at sophia lamar's birthday party and she was beautiful. whoever made the paris hilton remark has their head up their ass.



Subject: go-go boy
Date: Jun 11 2004 02:17:12 PM
Author: faghag

is that boy grinding on amanda lepore's booty the same cutie who used to dance at luxx on saturday nights? what's he doing now?



Subject: timely do
Date: Jun 09 2004 12:02:04 AM
Author: ladyface

I like how these Dos were all about catching good moments...the second before you punch someone/while you play grabass/after you pull up your pants post-pee. timing = everything.



Subject: who is he
Date: Jun 08 2004 07:49:46 AM
Author: yes!

does anyone know timmo? What a wonderful gift.



Subject: people
Date: Jun 08 2004 05:36:24 AM
Author: mo

people look so hot right before they fight.
these do's were excellent.



Subject: rest suck
Date: Jun 07 2004 04:16:31 PM
Author: sane person

Fuck you rest suck. That passive shit really bums me out. I laughed out loud at the stoned japanese lady ebcause i totally know that dance they're talking about and can picture it perfectly. You have all these crazy pictures from all over the world and this is one of the funniest thigns we've ever seen but every month there's those idiots saying - worst dos and donts ever - or - what is happening to the dos and donts. Shut up. You are killing my buzz.



Subject: take a bath
Date: Jun 07 2004 04:08:33 PM
Author: now

last 2 good
rest suck



Subject: what?
Date: Jun 07 2004 03:29:46 PM
Author: dan

what's up with your dos and don'ts sections recently...they have been more cheap nudity and less good humor. what's happening!?



Subject: My point...
Date: Jun 07 2004 02:43:09 PM
Author: Nemo

Thanks for proving it with the pix of tired "ugly in high school, still ugly now" hipster ho's. Not so recently, I noticed all the girls on your dos page look like they "got dressed in the dark". This usually leads to something called "ridicule" by people with "fashion sense" and "half a brain". I'm sure it also leads to "wanking" from there "friends" about how cool they look, while they go off and clown them in the bathroom while they bump up on shit coke. My hope is that you guys do this so the rest of us will have something to laugh at when we go out.

PS: I would have been terrified by that guy on the top with his toothpick arms and boy's tee. I hope you stared harder.
Or is that what the bearded/trucker hat guy on the bottom is staring at?



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