DJs have the easiest job in the world. It's been said a million times before because it's true and none of them ever disagree. How difficult is getting paid £700 a time for spinning records you love to people who love you? Not very. The worst thing is when you notice all the hipster DJs playing the same records as each other because they're too idle to hunt out obscure tracks. Then again, that's how trends begin and at the moment it seems we're witnessing a rather contrived acid revival, or a revival of the acid style represented in a new form curiously bereft of passion or soul. Lots of 303 bleeps'n'tweaks, crisp melodies, spacious productions and functional four-square beats—Black Strobe, Tiefschwarz, DJ T, LCD dude, that kind of thing. It's pretty boring and easy to avoid but it works well in clubs and DJs can re-edit (or "personalise") these tracks in a jiffy beforehand, which means they look good and that's what matters.

ACID?
Our old mucker Ivan Smagghe (sounds like "smackhead") is back with his second mix album of 2004. After January's Death Disco effort, the tramp-like Black Strobe mixmaster oversees Suck My Deck, a Bugged Out!/React presentation, which, if you didn't know any better, could be some dodgy Ministry Of Sound progressive techno session from 1996, even though all 14 tracks were produced recently. Smagghe's certainly defined a specific sound here. Trouble is, it's a boorish, uncharismatic sound, a pseudo-gothic digital splurge too bouncy to be industrial and too polished for techno. Amid glossy drivel by Slacker and Panash, the freakishly beautiful Severed Heads track "Dead Eyes Open", impeccably remixed by Parisian disco prince Joakim, is the sole highlight. On this evidence, those tackling this retro acid style take themselves way too seriously, meaning the music lacks the original's humour and flare and they wind up in a stylistic cul-de-sac. The same problem afflicts Canadian jock Tiga's long-awaited acid-ish new single "Pleasure From The Bass" (PIAS), a plodding, sterile warm-up track too self-satisfied and knowing for its own good.

Best leave it to old hands like Frankfurt duo Alter Ego, whose Transphormer album on their Klang Elektronik label is the filthiest straight-up acid-rock affair we've heard in ages. Following some phenomenally aggressive remixes, most notably Chicks On Speed's "Fashion Rules", Roman Flügel and Jörn Elling Wuttke claim the rage galvanizing Transphormer stems from 9/11 and Gulf War II, hence the presence of gnarly, glam, notionally anti-US explosions "Beat The Bush" and "Nasty Dollars". Ja, ja, whatever. But do expect to hear primitive neo-rave anthems "Rocker" and "Satanic Circus" everywhere this year. And loosen up your neck for the urge to headbang along to these is irresistible.

ACID!
The true transcendental spirit of acid is alive and well, if viciously distorted, inside the hard-drive of Florian Hecker's laptop. The Vienna-based computer music genius, whose headfuck masterpiece Sun Pandämonium received the Award of Distinction at last year's Prix Ars Electronica boffin summit, has a new disc, PV Trecks (Koelnischer Kunstverein/Mego), that finds him distilling his unique style of serene chaos into an impressively physical series of 33 celestial eruptions and pan-dimensional cyber-squirts. These deliciously advanced noises gush and groan as if uttered in an as-yet-undiscovered tongue by some divine all-knowing master robot, a streaky alien babble that once deciphered reveals all the answers. It's like when you're tripping and you're convinced you understand everything, but you can't expain why. Seriously, Hecker is totally acid.

For killer vintage acid this month look no further than the excellent Chicago Boogie compilation from the crew behind Amsterdam's fêted Paradisco 3000 house parties, out on Eskimo Records. These Dutch cats, who know their Chi-town onions and how to throw a magical knees-up, have packed this album with succulent first generation house and acid from the likes of Virgo, Mr Fingers, Liquid Liquid and Electra. Chicago Boogie is aimed at music-lovers, not trainspotters (who'll have all these tracks anyway), while 303 freaks can submerge themselves in the bubbly grooves of Six Brown Bros' "Battery Acid" and "Computer Madness" by Steve Pointdexter.

One guy who's brushed up on old skool acid house etiquette and applied this imaginatively to his own slinky electronic disco technique is Dutch beanpole Orgue Electronique. The five-track "Texas, Brooklyn & Heaven" EP on Crème Organization is Brian Chinetti's most satisfying release to date, a thoughtful, soulful excursion into Trax-style analogue funk that ripples with melody and should elevate this talent to the next level, wherever that is these days.

CLASH?
Poor Miss Kittin. She has such a hard time being a superstar DJ, producer, singer and all-round global icon adored by millions. All those autographs and fake smiles, interviews and photoshoots, and please, don't mention electroclash. Stupid journalists trying to pigeonhole her. Makes you sick. Just let her be herself for once. Oh wait, she's done just that on I Com, her highly anticipated debut solo album for Novamute, and it's worked out pretty well. Caroline Herve clearly has a great opinion of herself and spends much of I Com mewing atop her high horse while Berlin's Glove pairing of Tobi Neumann and Thies Mynther assist her with the production, fashioning an eclectic mix of styles in an effort not to make anything sound remotely electroclash. At times the pudding has been so comprehensively over-egged that you can't see it for all the splattered yolk and albumen. There are some cool tracks, like "Requiem For A Dream", and The Hacker-helmed "Soundtrack Of Now", but you get the impression Herve wanted to make a statement with this album, rather than make a good record that's fun to listen to. So she did. Respect.

DISCO!
VICE's Cocadisco night is thrilled to announce the return of electronic house wunderkind Brooks, who played an incredible set at the opening party, remember? Now he's back with an insane new album and a stack of amazing vinyl for your ears only, you freaks, on Thursday, May 13. So come on down to The Social (5 Little Portland Street, London W1; Oxford Circus tube), from 7–11p.m. Free.

PIERS MARTIN