Just because you’ve got 5 million green skeletons sucking blood and cum out of a dead nun’s cunt on your album sleeve doesn’t mean that your metal group is scary or heavy or anything other than laughable and sad.

The original idea behind London’s Capricorns was to design a truly scary heavy band that sounded like a soundtrack for a movie co-directed by Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci. Something trashy like Zombie Flesh Eaters or New York Ripper mixed with the class and finesse of Suspiria. The main idea was that it would sound like falling in a room of razor wire and getting chased down a nicely-lit blue alleyway by a witch into a pool filled with sharks and zombies.

“It didn’t really turn out like that though,” says Nathan Bennett, the singer of Capricorns. “We weren't patient or good enough to sound like that, so we just decided to write riffs instead It never would have worked any way. The guy who I had talked about the original idea with was a total cokehead slimeball.”

Umm, yeah. So instead of sounding like cokey Italian rape obsessives with tight trousers like the first vision, Capricorns the reality sounds more like four big burly guy who live in the mountains and eat raw rabbit in big bloody handfuls. More The Hills Have Eyes than Inferno. Oh well.

Because there’s already way too many guys in the music section of this issue and, let’s face it, guys in bands never have anything interesting to say, we decided to interview the girl who does their artwork, Jo Ratcliffe, instead of the band.

VICE: Jo, most people who paint metal covers are overweight internet porn guys. You’re really pretty and you’re a girl. Wha’ happened?
Jo: I started off into it because I Ioved Whitesnake and Guns N Roses and I kind of met people like Capricorns through going out to Garlic And Shots every night of my life.

Most metal artwork is a little played wouldn’t you say?
It seems bands use imagery for no specific reason other than it reminded them of an old Celtic Frost sleeve. Bored by this, I was inspired to start using typography instead.

I just felt like I could picture things in my head and then make a great sleeve with really dark graphics that didn’t have to have a goat puking up blood over the devil’s cock while a nuclear explosion went off in the background.

AMORY CRIPPER
Capricorns debut EP is out on Rise Above. Jo Ratcliffe’s designs can be seen on the next Sunn0)) album as well as an Integrity live album out soon on Aurora Borealis.