Finding Nemo was all a kid could want, right? Cute and psychedelic, with a few memorable ditties and plenty of moralizing. However, Finding Nemo neglected some pretty important stuff (and I’m not talking about another feminist critique of Snow White).

Sure, it makes the point that tropical fish don’t belong in aquariums, and that’s probably awesome. But in the movie, divers are seen netting live fish that have strayed too far from home. It’s a cute idea, but in reality divers squirt cyanide into the homes of tropical fish, primarily in Southeast Asia and the South Pacific. Yep, the same cyanide that spies take to commit suicide and husbands use to murder wives is dumped on tropical reefs to stun fish long enough for them to be pulled from their crevices, bagged, and taken to awaiting boats. Most die in the process, but whatevs. The worst part is Finding Nemo has made cyanide fishing more popular than ever.

A recent report by the United Nations states that up to 75% of these fish die within hours of collection, and up to 50% die soon after. Lingering effects of the chemical are present long into the transportation process, so even more fish arrive at aquarium stores D.O.A. Since Nemo, the amount of fish being captured has almost doubled.

As if that weren’t a big enough deal, cyanide kills the reefs, too. When it’s squirted into a reef crevice, it immediately damages and often kills the coral polyps upon which the entire reef ecosystem is based. With 65 tons of cyanide getting sprayed on a single Philippine reef every year, these “fishermen” are killing the ocean, all the fish, and even the mermaids and ghosts from shipwrecks. In fact, the only opponent to the massive power of the spoiled-brat dollar is the Marine Aquarium Council (MAC).

That’s right, the people who stand to make the most money from this, the aquarium sellers, have started refusing fish captured via cyanide. “We are well aware of the potential dangers of this new trend,” MAC Asia director Rezal Kusumaatmadja told us over the phone. “MAC certification will create a disincentive for people utilizing destructive fishing methods and that will continue until the fishermen come up with an alternative solution.”

So, just like in Finding Nemo, this story has a happy ending. Little kids are not the boss of us and their incessant whining will not destroy the oceans of Southeast Asia.

BYRON WERTZ