SAVE OUR FORESTS - The Joys of Blowing a Bear’s Head Off

Hey, guess what? I blew a bear’s fucking head off and it felt awesome. It’s the kind of thing that makes your mouth say, “Holy shit” without your brain’s permission. It also makes you feel a strange and cruel kinship with nature (kind of like when the Bad Brains would hang out with Nazi skinheads).

I used to hate hunting. When I was a kid I saw a deer dying in the woods with half its ass missing. My first instinct was, “Man and nature don’t mix. Man bad, nature good.” Which is true, but what about if they already have mixed? What do we do then? Every time an ocean liner returns from the Black Sea its hull brings in some fucked-up foreign species that devastates our biodiversity. That’s how zebra mussels came to take over the Great Lakes. Or what about the more than 200 million starlings bullying our native birds out of their nests and taking over the continent? They’re here because some douchebag decided to bless New York City with every bird mentioned in a Shakespearean play. He’s done the environment more harm than hunters could ever do. We have more in common with vegetarians than you think. Do you have any idea how much duck hunters have done for wetland preservation?

Don’t take my word for it. Ask some Northeastern farmers about the deer population. They call them “giant squirrels” now. Herds, 70 deep, are eating every berry farm and residential garden from Halifax to Washington, DC. Collisions with cars have gone up 65% in the past two years alone. Ironically, it’s all the hunting of mountain lions and wolves that got us to this sad state of affairs, and now the deer need someone to cull them. How about me?

New Jersey has just instituted bear-hunting licenses for the first time in almost 50 years. Farmers in upstate New York are getting cull licenses for the first time ever. Shit, even the yuppies down in L.A. are killing the coyotes that ate their cats. Hunting is a sad side effect of today’s environment. You can either sit in the shower crying about it or grab a gun and jump into the fray. Trust me, trying to fix our previous wrongs is the best job a man could ask for, and once you’ve caused your first death you’ll be hooked for life.

ISAAC CARTER

Comments:

Subject: save animals and their homes
Date: Oct 14 2005 04:36:30 PM
Author: oona

Support www.moreTreeshemp.com if you want style, oxygen, happy forests and urban renewal. We're sick and tired of apathy and ignorance, so we're doing something about it.

Subject: guns, hunting and morons
Date: Jan 22 2005 03:33:47 PM
Author: rob-ot

Maybe i can sneak up on you while you've got your headphones on listning to limp bizkit and getting ready to break stuff. 30-06? what the fuck? if you were a real man you would use your bear hands to kill.

Subject: Guns, Hunting, and Running
Date: Mar 27 2004 03:56:10 PM
Author: Doesn't Really Matter

All you macho tough guys who badmouth hunting should get a life. If you ever pointed a weapon at me in the forest with my 30-06 across my lap, youd be the one in trouble. Yea, shooting bambi does get boring, why dont you get a gun and try to find me in the woods. I'll fuckin take you out faster than you can say, "Liberal assmunch".

Subject: disneyland
Date: Feb 25 2004 08:55:21 PM
Author: K$

take a gun to disneyland

Subject: .
Date: Feb 16 2004 09:38:56 PM
Author: .

.

Subject: growing and growing and growing...
Date: Feb 09 2004 06:57:13 PM
Author: DubT

Last time I looked, humans were the only popultaion on the planet that expressed exponential growth. My dad has seen the world's human popultaion double. Don't get me wrong, I own an AK-47 and there is nothing better than putting a thousand holes in something. Just make it productive. Put something good in the crosshairs.

---DubT

Subject: yes luke eves you are right
Date: Feb 04 2004 09:59:47 PM
Author: check mcnugal

diesel sucks ass and their advertisements are even fucking gayer, work harder? what the fuck does that have to do with tuning a radio (for those of you who are confused look at the bottom of the page) and who puts an ad with noise at the fucking very bottom of a page

but my good friend(luke eves)it is ad and not add i was a bit confused at first

Subject: Fuck this issue
Date: Feb 03 2004 04:51:12 AM
Author: Dingus

What the fuck are you guys doing? This and the "Cats Must Die" article are completely retarded. Who gives a fuck about your goddamn animal problems? I want Cum vs. Moisturizer or interviews long lost members of Wu-Tang Clan.

Fuck you.

Subject: MURDER IS meat
Date: Feb 01 2004 07:23:55 PM
Author: way bra

THE SUN WILL DIE.

Subject: FUCKING ANNOYING ADD
Date: Jan 26 2004 10:04:30 PM
Author: luke eves

stupid loud fucking add
anyone who makes an add that makes noise should be shot in the fucking face.
by me

Subject: What?
Date: Jan 26 2004 06:27:11 PM
Author: Paulo

Don't they limit the number of children born into each family in China? If you want to kill humans, time travel back to the end of WWII and campaign against the baby boom. Overpopulation is historical and would have probably happened anyway and will continue to happen.

Subject: Kill it, kill it!
Date: Jan 15 2004 12:28:11 PM
Author: Arl

Everyone needs to start having more butt sex. No more babies.
We're like locusts.
I enjoy firing guns at things too.
Too bad animals dont have thumbs and cant fight back.
I'd hunt if they had guns and knives too.
Why hasnt anyone given gorillas or other primates firearms yet?
I've never even seen a monkey shoot a gun.

Subject: The Joy of blowing a bear
Date: Jan 13 2004 07:52:39 AM
Author: James

You're a Genius. We should take your idea a step further and start hunting humans. There's a lot of riff raff out there you know. And it'll solve that third world problem if we get serious.

You think blowing the bear's head off's fun, try actually giving the bear a blow job. Now that's a fucking sport.

Subject: You
Date: Jan 12 2004 06:48:41 PM
Author: Bear Power

You, sir, are also a cunt.

Subject: DA BEARS!
Date: Jan 10 2004 12:07:20 AM
Author: God damn, that's opinionated!

I think it is fine to kill anything not human for consumption and clothing or another viable reason if there is a sustainable population available.

Killing things can be not only fun, but can save you money on food.

Subject: bears
Date: Jan 09 2004 09:13:02 AM
Author: chuck

I live here in NJ. They killed 300+ something BEARS. How is this not retarded? Since when are bears overpopulated? Hmm... maybe stop building in their HOMES? Oh, but wait, I should shut up.. just another pussy vegetarian. Oh sorry.

Subject: its us
Date: Jan 03 2004 11:57:18 PM
Author: boo to you

its not overpopulation, the animals have no where to go becasue we've taken their homes and built highways and mcdonalds.

Subject: population control
Date: Jan 03 2004 01:26:07 PM
Author: hate you

Hey fuckers, if you really wanna look at population control in effect look no further than the third world, nothing like rampid disease and starvation to do away with a 1/3 of the worlds population within the next 50 years, just wait and see.

Subject: re-comment
Date: Jan 03 2004 09:24:41 AM
Author: spatch

My comment on indians and chinese was an example of over population, not to be taken literally. People overpopulate just as much as any other animal, the difference is that while we organize what to do w/ our people, the bear unfirtunately have nothing to do. They root in garabge for food because it is of easy access to them. The circumstances by which we find unbearable (haha) are of no control for them. They try to survive and because they interfere, we decide to kill them to downsize, as opposed to relocation, placing in animal habitats, etc. I have no problem with the bears being killed just so long as instead of being wasted, they're used to the fullest

Subject: kill......................
Date: Jan 02 2004 08:14:41 PM
Author: "mortus"

If you where a real badass you would have drank the blood,ate some of the raw brains,made a blanket with it's hyde and then spent the night in it masterbating with every bodly fluid you could salvage from it's rotting carcass. That's how a real man would have had it.P.S. Maybe even made sweet love to it's unborn fetus, permitting it was female

Subject: So, bears need to die?
Date: Jan 01 2004 07:00:29 AM
Author: David

What the devil is wrong with Isaac Carter? The hypocritical fiend actually seems to believe he is doing the world a favour by popping some mangy old grizzly!!
Its sort of like when Homer gets a revolver to protect America from the queen! Except Homer was not concieted enough to buy his own lie...
(There is of course the possibility that Carter is playing us an elaborate prank, but somehow it doesn't seem likely)

Subject: overpopulating bastards
Date: Dec 31 2003 03:54:42 PM
Author: DeepEco

yeah sure hunt the naked ape-I'll lead the charge, but why china and india? I personally get a huge charge out the image of an upper class fatty whitebread motherfucker running for his life as I draw a bead on his ass...as I say, hunting americans would rock, we're such wussies we'd run every time.

Subject: hunting vs fishing
Date: Dec 31 2003 02:35:08 PM
Author: >:)

why do people have this big bug up their asses about hunters? cuz they kill cute animals? im sorry but is that really the logic behind people not hunting? what about fishing? its just as barbaric as hunting, why no protests against fishermen? bunch of drunks on a boat is some how different than a bunch of drunks in the forrest? nigga please

Subject: quake style
Date: Dec 29 2003 12:12:46 PM
Author: station

Hunting hunters is realy the best. People can run like fuckers given the chance.

Subject: word
Date: Dec 27 2003 09:39:18 AM
Author: Kawada

I fight in Battle Royale for my dead girlfriend Keiko. I will happily gun down people on the streets of the United States in the name of the BR Act. Natural selection at its best.

Subject: lets start at home
Date: Dec 26 2003 09:17:06 PM
Author: yutes n. asia

all these little attempts to curb a population explosion have failed. we should all just start hunting. we could start a lottery. or just start gunning down people in the streets.
how about the Battle Royale approach.

Subject: T-N-R
Date: Dec 26 2003 07:27:36 PM
Author: shit monkey

I suggest starting a trap-neuter-release program for humans.

Subject: Hunting for Fun and Profit
Date: Dec 26 2003 03:32:10 PM
Author: Bad

i dont have a problem with hunting except when the people take the carcass and try and actually use it for something. i mean, just leave it there on the forest floor.

killing is the end. guns are the means.

Subject: nobody said that
Date: Dec 26 2003 12:04:21 PM
Author: Overpopulation

Nobody ever suggested we start killing people (OK The Church of Euthanasia didn't hate the idea). They never even said all the chinks and pakis should go back where they came from (assuming they are here legally). The way to deal with overpopulation is in prevention. Contraception and closed borders are the only way to go. Animals, however, can't grasp concepts like that so the only way to cull their population is to blow their heads off.

Subject: overpopulating bastards
Date: Dec 25 2003 03:36:49 PM
Author: spatch

yeah, those damn homosapiens are taking over too. Someone should go to china or india do some downsizing. We need to show these bastards that we won't stand by and idly watch as they destroy other animals ecosystems, fuck up the planets resources, and kill for fun. Imma get my gun and go nuts