NATURE DECREeS that when a RAP artist releases two albums in one year then the second one will be a piece of shit. Sorry 50 Cent, but the G-Unit record was exactly that. Being a very nature-abiding kind of guy who only shaves when the chakras are aligned, I was concerned to discover David Banner was releasing his second album less than 12 months after his amazing Mississippi debut dropped. How could it be any good? Surely nature wouldn’t allow it?
Put it down to those gamma rays he eats for breakfast, but Banner’s DEFIED God’s law and come through with another absolutely classic record. MTA:2 (SRC/Universal) takes the ignorant, kill-everybody-now tone of the first LPand pushes it to another level. Some of the songs on here (especially the Lil’ Flip joints) are so non-musical and retarded they make you want to smash beer bottles on your head and run down the street offering out fights to lamp posts.
Tracks like “Crank It U”’ may not get as much run in the South as “Like A Pimp” did, but they’re still ridiculous and will probably blow just as big. Faint-hearted fans that Banner picked up with ‘Cadillac On 22s’ will be running back to their Nelly CDs after hearing this shit. Actually, Nelly is on this album and over Banner’s beats you almost start to forgive him for some of his recent crimes (but not the fucking Kelly Rowland song).
By the way, start calling MTA:2 “The Southern Chronic” before everybody else does, just like you’ll have to start calling Kanye West’s ‘The College Dropout’ (Roc A Fella), the ‘real’ Blueprint 2. Kanye can do the gay shit better than anyone, and it’s a guarantee that “Breathe In, Breathe Out” will be hated on harder than anyone ever thought possible. Also, if Dame Dash releases “Jesus Walks With Me” as the new single then it could be the final nail in the coffin for jiggy music.
Speaking of finality, we hear Cee-Lo’s bosses are running around saying “please can you sell some some records otherwise we’re sending you back to Goodie M.O.B” and that’s why they hired Timbaland to work on his new one “I’ll Be Around” (Arista). Good luck with that one.
Older readers will be getting teary-eyed when they hear the new Ghostface record “Run” (Def Jam) with Jadakiss and Comp. OK, it’s another record talking about the return of real hip-hop but it’s still off the rocker. Jada excels himself with lines like ‘Scared to death running like I’ve got bears on me/My Timbs start feeling like they’re Nike Airs on me”. Even better is the appearance of Comp, kicking mad out-of-date lines like “I’ll be damned if a cop Rodney King Me!”. Unsurprisingly, the new millennium has barely registered with this lot and Comp refers to Dip Set as ‘fag rap’.
Still on the old and fading tip... Philly’s Most Wanted still exist! So they’ve changed their name to Philly’s Most but they’re peddling the same jig the Neptunes gave them back in the days before the Clones album made it impossible to like them anymore without feeling dirty. Now it’s 2004 and poor Philly’s can no longer can afford to fund Pharrell and Chad’s Dunks museum, the result being that Shake (Universal) is in danger of falling ‘into the void’ like Black Sabbath. Also not helping this record is the fact that the Jay-Z impression from one of the rappers is so shameless that it’ll be blacklisted from all radio stations in payola from our buddies at Def Jam (joke). Speaking of which, remember Spring ‘03? When somebody like Lyor Cohen said something like ‘this man is the future of hip hop!’. Who was he talking about? Oh yeah! Joe Budden! Aaaahahahaha! Anyhoo.. Memphis Bleek’s got a new one out with ‘M.A.D.E’ (Roc-A-Fella). and the good news is they’ve finally ressurrected that classic ‘Murder, Murder, Marcyfield’ track that was meant to be a Jay tune from back in the Middle Ages. Other good tracks like ‘Just Blaze, Bleek And Free’ will keep all you Roc kids happy for a while cos it looks like Beanie Sigel won’t be doing any promo for quite a while.
So, what else for glorious ‘04? Well apart from exciting new albums from great artists like Victoria Beckham and CloudDEAD, it’s obvious we’re stilll going to have to put up with more sixth form poetry back-pack rap from labels that insist on designing covers like they’re re-releasing My Bloody Valentine records. Listen—big photo of rapper, big shiny logo, money, diamonds, bad housing in the background. What’s the problem? What else? Oh yeah, expect at least six months of girls with stomach tattoos swearing at you if you don’t play Lil’ Jon and Lil’ Flip. It’s going to happen…
ROB BRINGUR
Fritz Tha Cat’s Back Pack Top Nine (in no particular order):
1. Variable Unit (VU) Cold Flow (Wide Hive) 2. DJ Frane Electric Garden of Delights (Basement) 3. Supersoul 40 Acres and a Moog (Metatronix) 4. Books on Tape Sings the Blues (Grey Day) 5. Cousins of Def Fried Chicken Flavored (Low Pressure) 6. DJ Vadim Stereo Pictures 3 (Jazz Fudge) 7. Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf Big Shots (Stones Throw) 8. Beans Mutescreamer 7” (Warp)
9. V/A Wide Hive Remixed (Wide Hive)
