RONNY AND METhe Special Olympics of Comedy
Ronny Weintraub is this 41-year-old retarded guy who I always see at my shows at Caroline’s Comedy Club. He’s a kind of fixture there. In their minds, he’s a retarded adult who they tolerate and allow to watch the shows as long as he behaves himself. In his mind, he is a big time, hot-shit manager who is scouting for new talent and IF he likes you, you MIGHT just get the break of your life!
He always talks to me after my shows. Each time it’s the same—he likes what he sees and he’s seriously thinking about taking me on as a client—?you’re getting really good—really good. Strong stuff,? etc. After a while, he started adding, ?I love you, Sarah,? and, ?You’re my friend!? (which is the calling card for retarded adults and, coincidentally, the average Hollywood suit). I can’t tell you how many showbiz execs are more then willing to tell you they love you if it will get them what they want or, more accurately, what their bosses want. Normal adult humans on one side, retarded adults and the Hollywood elite on the other.
Ronny talks too loud in the showroom and people really can’t stand him, which was made clear to me when I showed up to sponsor him at the Special Olympics. The people who ran it took me aside and apologized for me being placed with him. I said defensively, "I wasn’t placed with him, asshole, he’s my friend." If he never was before, suddenly he was my friend. Funny how it sometimes takes outside shit to define our relationships or ourselves, i.e. never feeling like a Jew until you’re surrounded by gentiles. Or never feeling like a woman until you’re hired at SNL. So, now Ronny is my friend, and FUCK YOU for apologizing for him. Like the other retards are less obnoxious. OK, maybe they are less obnoxious—as a matter of fact, maybe most of them are downright adorable. But they aren’t in fucking SHOW BUSINESS like Ronny! They don’t "get it."
It is true what they say, though, retarded people are totally inspiring. They believe anything is possible. They never get jaded. And their simple joys seem really Buddha-y. They’re like gawky, disproportionate, whacky Buddhas and I like them a lot.
SARAH SILVERMAN
SEE ALL ARTICLES BY THIS CONTRIBUTORCOMMENTS
Subject:
Date: Dec 25 2004 09:07:59 AM
Author:
Subject: ohhh man she's a fizz-ox
Date: May 01 2004 08:20:57 PM
Author: Kyle B
One time i saw Sarah Silverman on some late night talk show, she came out and right away said that the furniture smelled like "pig vaginas". I died laughing at her casual vulgarity. Then i was like "ohhhh HIZZLE she's a fox"
also, scroll down and check out the comment from this guy..
Subject: he knows he\'s funny
Date: Jan 28 2003 04:27:08 PM
Author: ova
look at how he ends his comment...so sad and yet funny to laugh about to myself over what a depressed loser he must be
"oh the withering nights of yesteryear brought forth a cold to mine heart, yet i have the pen at hand"
what a fag. if you read my post fag-guy, then take that as a cue to kill yourself. starting now.
Subject: returds
Date: Mar 09 2003 11:39:30 PM
Author: adam
you guys are all fucked. did sally put out for ronny? does ronny bugger sally?
Subject: Ronny & Me
Date: Feb 21 2003 04:15:42 PM
Author: H
Total patronizing BS disguised as philosophy. "Hey everyone, look at me, i'm even nice to "retards"". Grow up.
Subject: sally ride's comments
Date: Feb 21 2003 01:54:34 AM
Author: mike
Your not wrong there
Subject: Do I really have to discuss this article?
Date: Feb 16 2003 11:29:50 AM
Author: Sean
Do I?
Subject: Ronny the tard
Date: Feb 11 2003 01:09:02 PM
Author: Who asked me, anyways?
I love how a simple act, like calling a mentally challenged adult our friend, can really make us feel beeter about ourselves. You know like life is really worth living. It\'s funny how people never appreciate the little things in life. We never get taught a meaningful childs prayer like "Now i lay me down to sleep, and in the night my sanity to keep. May all my memories stay that way, and may i grow up from childs play"
Not that being sane is all that fun, but hey at least this way i can see both sides of the fence.
Subject: wow....
Date: Feb 06 2003 02:26:50 PM
Author: P
The article is good, I\'m all for it.
But... I don\'t beleive this[maybe it\'s not true? say it aint so], that she\'d give jimmy kibbles the time of day specially in the morning. She\'s incredibly badass, but he seems to be an overage frat boy who doesnt understand that being a fucktard just isn\'t funny. His man show actually made me feel ashamed to be a man.
it just had to be said.
Subject: silverman is hella nervous
Date: Feb 03 2003 11:12:10 AM
Author: sheela-na-gig
Sarah Silverman encourages my lesbian tendancies and she\'s brilliantly funny. Fuck Kimmel if he isn\'t down.
Subject: silverman
Date: Feb 01 2003 10:11:40 PM
Author: sally ride
excellent article. i saw that retard once too, although he was standing next to sarah\'s boyfriend jimmy kimmel so i really couldn\'t tell who was who. good thing she complains about snl chauvinism when she sucks the dick of one of the cohosts of the man show.
Subject: oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
Date: Feb 01 2003 12:21:37 PM
Author: oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
yo Ova! no shit, huh? I believe it. I neglected to add that I actually ran in to Corky once in Manhattan walking with his parents several years after his show was off the air. I realize all mongoloids look somewhat alike, but it was definitely him. He barely looks Down Syndromey and was dressed respectably. Then he blew my mind by whipping out a cell phone. I think he still gets acting work and is much like that Mini Me dude in that while there are few niche minority acting roles out there theres always one alpha tard who snatches them all up (Mini Me, Webster, Christopher Reeve).
Subject:
Date: Feb 01 2003 07:16:20 AM
Author:
she\'s this chick, apparently she does the standup comedy thing, saw her on SNL once
as far as standup comedians (er, -ennes? whatever) go, she\'s a hottie, i guess
ŻŻŻŻŻ
good read though - i guess we\'re all sorta dicks until we realize what bigger dicks other people are... perspective is a good thing
Subject: Chromo-homey
Date: Jan 31 2003 02:46:35 PM
Author: ova
no shit: my mother (special ed teacher in nyc) worked with the lady who coached Corky in how to act and how to be an actor on his famed Tv show---. apparently he has a very mild case of down syndrome; has borderline intelligence, is something of a charmer, and is a nice guy.
word on the street. is that Corky sometimes "played dumb."
i wonder where Corky is right now?
prolly sitting on a pile of Corky Cash.
yea i guess the name Corky sounds alot like "Quirky" or Wierd MotherfuXer.
but its better than being named
Cornball the 2nd or something.
ps i think its possible for mentally- challenged people to get jaded, though there is probably a fair share of eternal optimists. there are many possible frustrations in this beautiful dangerous life for everyone.
question: would Corky still be happy if he was Ghetto Corky?
question: did anyone see the episode when someone steals Corky\'s girlfriend?, its a good one
He gets hella angry!, I think he throws a fit in the kitchen in front of one of his various "normal\' brothers/sisters.
correct me if im wrong.
anyway.
what i want to know is who is this sara and why are all the boys going retarded over her?/
Subject: oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
Date: Jan 30 2003 10:09:07 PM
Author: oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
why are retarts always named Corky? Its like naming your kid Jeeves. Sara is a sexy jewess and i\'d lose a chromosome for her any day.
oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
oldskoolmaster2000@yahoo.es
Subject:
Date: Jan 29 2003 10:34:08 AM
Author: muns.
trust me.. some become very jaggeded over time.. through no fault of their own.. but it is possible.
Subject: this
Date: Jan 28 2003 09:15:52 PM
Author: joe
mmmmm....sarah silverman
Subject: he knows he\'s funny
Date: Jan 28 2003 04:27:08 PM
Author: ova
yes i enjoyed this article and the sentiments about tarts.
you really should write a story about it..
in some cultures retarded people are less stigmatized and are appreciated for who they are and what they can contribute.
often times, in this country, retarded people are seen as a liability, or burdernsome because they aren\'t "productive" in what is valued in this economic capitalist society.
also appreciated this article cause my mom teaches mentally retarded adults.
and growin up i was not allowed to call my sister a
you Freakin RETART
you freakin mentally challenged person!
doesn\'t have quite the same ring
but as i get more mature i realize that we all have our limitations.
myself, sometimes i can be a little socailly challenged. plus i often get so jaded and cynical yet i am young and healthy and living in america. this is the way my anxiety plays out so i have pen or keyboard at hand-
Subject:
Date: Jan 28 2003 04:08:15 PM
Author: KidZ@PlaY
A good article. My heart warms when I see/meet Retards. "It is true what they say, though, retarded people are totally inspiring. They believe anything is possible. They never get jaded (Silverman,03)". So very true. Retards are like big children, uncorrupted by experience, and in a constant state of joyful bliss. I think we can learn alot from both retards and children.
Subject: ronny allen
Date: Jan 27 2003 11:39:30 PM
Author: erokz
broadway ronny rose...someone should make a movie.
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