Busting the “Breaking the Seal” Myth
That “breaking the seal” thing your drunk dad told you about is total bullshit. I tried it. It doesn’t matter when you pee. You know what I’m talking about, right? That thing where they say you should hold your first pee in while drinking beer or you’re going to be pissing like crazy all night.
On Monday night I went out and nearly ruptured my bladder holding in my piss. I was fucking dying. Then I let it out and pissed a normal amount of times for the rest of the night. Then on Tuesday I went piss after my first sip of beer. Shit, I barely had to go pee. Same thing happened. Normal peeing all night. No matter how much you hold it or don’t hold it the deal is: You don’t have to pee for the first three pints, then it’s basically beer, piss, beer, piss, beer, piss for the rest of the night. So go piss whenever you want. It don’t matter.
KEBBY HINES
Coke-sniffing still from Chris Cunningham’s
new short film Rubber Johnny
Suicidal Blackness
I don’t like acid or ecstasy anymore. The only time I’d take ecstasy is if a girl wanted to take it for sex. Sex is the only justification for that comedown. That kind of suicidal blackness, it’s so fucking sinister. By Wednesday you just feel like you want to burst into tears. You’ve exhausted your serotonin level.
If you’re going to stand in a club like a lemon, it’s not worth taking it. If you’re going to be pumping someone, then yes, put up with the comedown. But the last few times it’s been sitting round someone’s house or in a club, and that doesn’t justify it. If someone gave me a pill in a club, all that would happen is I’d start thinking about sex and want to go home. Or I’d just start leching so badly I’d turn into the Yorkshire Ripper.
CHRIS CUNNINGHAM
Rubber Johnny is out in May on Warpfilms.
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