So, check it out, my friend Jay and I were skating downtown L.A. and this cop tells us we better stop or else we'll "be eating through a straw for the next month." We were like, "Fuck you, pig" (in our heads).

This happens about every 10 fuckin' minutes in L.A., so me and Jay decided to find the cheapest place to fly to in the world and go skate there. After checking good places like Greece and Italy, we ended up with some shithole called Beirut. We didn't know much about it, but figured it would at least be warm. And there's no way it could be any more uptight the Stars and Bars, DOOOOOOOD!

Our board sponsor, Sector 9 (thanks, dudes) had just given us some mini-gun decks with wide trucks and soft wheels. We also had a prototype hill deck and trucks, so we were looking for long hills, clean pavement, empty pools. Any canvas where we wouldn't get harassed. Dropping out of the sky into Beirut, it looked like our dreams might be realized. Lights dotted large hills that rolled down to the sea. Skate paradise from 30,000 feet.

We left customs at 3:00 a.m. and set out toward downtown. The streets were empty and quiet, but from the looks of the buildings, a ton of shit probably happened here. There were bullet holes in every building, so we got the cab driver to take us downtown, where everything was rebuilt and there were long hills waiting to be bombed. We jumped out of the taxi and took advantage of the pre-morning emptiness. The streets were clean and wide. Hills wound down at the perfect degree, and the pavement was so smooth that world land-speed records were only a stopwatch away. Under cover of darkness, we skated until we could skate no more. The morning light brought rush-hour traffic and that sent us to bed.

Traffic is maybe the main thing that makes skating Beirut a gnarly experience. One time, Jay and I jumped into the middle of the main north–south freeway. We skated through the streams like Frogger. When we popped out, a hippie Swedish backpacker dressed like the American Taliban was standing there with a cross look on his face.

He goes, "Excuse me, gentlemen, but what exactly do you think you're doing?" and Jay laughs and calls him Johnny Walker Lindh. Then he says something like, "I don't know if you guys fully comprehend where you are. This is Lebanon, and it's a dangerous country. There are terrorist groups like Hizbullah that kidnap tourists for sport. They HATE Westerners. You guys should really try to fit in more, and don't skateboard," etc., etc.

We asked everyone we saw about Hizbullah (or is it Hezbollah?) and were told to check out a neighborhood they run called Burj Al Barajneh. When we got there, it seemed like any other Beirut neighborhood, save a few noticeable differences. There were pictures of the Ayatollah Khomeini everywhere, and a lot of guys in fatigues everywhere. There were also video cameras posted at the main street leading in. Things looked pretty bleak until we found a nice gap right next to a waving statue of the Ayatollah that looked a lot like Sean Connery. The gap had a little lip that launched you over a grass hill, and if you had the speed, you ended up in the street 15 feet down. This was one of the best discoveries on the trip, but it didn't last. We had been skating for half an hour when we whipped out the cameras to document the occasion. In less than a minute, three large, well-dressed men were on top of us. One of them asked us (in English) to stop filming, and to please relinquish the film. We did. They thanked us and moved along. When they had rounded the corner, our photographer, a nice kid from Southern Lebanon, explained that they were Hizbullah and filming was forbidden in Burj Al Barajneh. Whatever. They didn't tell us to stop skating.

We took our time exploring Beirut. There were just too many places. We found an actual skate park on the south side of town. This place was legitimate. There was a full vert pipe, rails, launch ramps and boxes. A large fence surrounded the property and was flanked by an army guard turret. We started climbing the fence, when out of nowhere came two large men with scruffy beards and black leather jackets. They started going nuts in Arabic, so we looked to the photographer for help. He translated: "You can't go in there." And we asked him why not. "It's off-limits," he said. And again we asked him why. The park was made of raw steel. What were we going to do? Bend it? We kept asking them more questions, but after finding out they were the Syrian secret police we were told to fuck off (they literally said, "Fuck off"). Our translator buddy told us we should fuck off because the Mukhabarat, or Syrian secret police, were not to be messed with. Screw that, we just wanted to skate the pipe, and couldn't figure out why Syrian policemen were in Lebanon. It's like a Mountie telling you not to skate Miami Beach.

Fuck it. We had heard from a few different people that two refugee camps, Sabra and Shatilla, had good hills, so that's where we went. Other people told us to be careful, that the camps were violent and lawless. It was sounding better and better. The biggest hill was fun. Long and winding, it provided plenty of space to get speed before laying on a thick powerslide. The only problem was the litter and rocks that filled the street. There was a building on the right that was totally destroyed and the rubble would roll into the road. The people in the camps watched our skate exhibition. Soon the kids joined in and took turns wiping out. That was the funnest part of the trip, because the kids were really friendly and cool to hang out with.

Beirut had great skating: all sorts of rails, gaps, hills, and open spaces. After a while, though, we were feeling stressed by the city, so we hopped in our car and rolled out to the country. Signs pointed toward the Bekaa Valley, which sounded as good as any country locale.

The mountain from Beirut drops sharply into the valley. This provided a steep section of hill at least three miles long that we literally flew down on our boards. We took turns driving each other to the top and then picking each other up at the bottom. The air was icy and the blacktop was newly paved. You've never skated such a long stretch of mountain road.
When we got back in the car to enter the valley, we turned off on the first narrow street and followed it through apple trees and grapevines. After a few miles, we ran into an old truck mounted with a machine gun. An older man stood straight up and looked really, really pissed off. He squeezed off a couple of rounds in the air and we thought that would be a good time to do a three-point turn and get the raging fuck out of there.

Continuing down the main road, we arrived in the city of Baalbek. Pictures of the Ayatollah Khomeini and some other turbaned chief from Burj Al Barajneh were all over the place. There were also yellow and green flags with some Arabic and an M-16 on all the light poles. We saw an old Roman castle in the distance. It looked nice. The road in front of the castle was an ideal little slope with an old piece of metal acting as a launch ramp. We busted some air and skated around the castle. Everywhere, it seemed, was something to grind. It feels a lot better grinding a 2,500-year-old castle rock than your post office's curb. When we had our fill of the castle, we moved into the heart of town.

Here we found an empty river that had been cemented in. There were chunks of debris, but having soft tires made it all okay. We would get as much speed as our boards could handle, then fly from one lip to the next. After a few runs, a black car pulled up and beckoned us over. Again, we were asked to turn our film over to Hizbullah. Apparently this whole town belonged to these Hizbullah dudes. We were bummed, but there was nothing we could do, and they didn't seem to care about skating. Apparently, we were lucky––our photographer later explained that he had gotten us out of spending the next few weeks in interrogation.
Our last jaunt was to the south of Lebanon. Some people claimed that there were old abandoned houses with pools. Not needing to be told twice, we made it down in record time to find out they were all full of shit. There were some nice hills, and the feeling was certainly different than Beirut. We noticed loads of baby-blue-helmet-wearing Sikhs. At the end of one rolling slope, we ran into a whole mess of them in their UN truck.

One came up to us and yelled, "Stop! What are you doing?" And we said, "Skating some sweet hills." Then he said, "No, no, no, no! You shouldn't be in this area at all." And we asked why. And he said, "Oh no, no no. Veddy dangerous. Israeli troops shoot missiles into the area. Hizbullah fires back. Israeli jets fly bombing raids and hit houses. No, no, no—this whole country is dangerous. Too dangerous for fun."

Er…wrong. Lebanon is a skate kingdom. I don't know who these Hizbullah dudes are, or why Israel keeps bombing them, but if things were cooler over there and that skate park was open, Beirut would be paradise. They may take your film over and over, but they'll never tell you to walk your board in public places, and that is rad.

JOHNNY TYRONE

COMMENTS

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I dnt knw which year u came to lebanon but now its better from the skating side, there are some skateparks... the skatepark u went to(sin el fil) is always open i dunno why the guys didnt let u in, i always skate there.. Anw my friend build this gr8 skatepark and we had many many events with sponsored mainly by mountain dew, red-bull, La coste and Eastpak... We also built a portable halfpipe the only one in the middle east area.. And now were working on a skate park project hope it will be done soon. We had some english and french skaters come to lebanon and we toured the whole country on skates, We also had Kenny Belay to come and tour the country. I tried contacting a German magazine to talk bt the skateparks in lebanon, i filled a kind of interview n sent it to the Manager, he didnt answer yet... Anyway i hope i get to knw u guys n talk sumtime soon... this is my email: nicolas_badr@hotmail.com Best Regards, Keep in touch! NicK! Subject: u came 2 lebanon Date: Nov 19 2006 08:25:00 AM Author: omar hey why the fuck do u wanna come 2 lebanon it i my country but i hate it i am a sk8er and lebanon is a bad place 2 sk8 in lebanon i hate lebanon if thier wazent hiz bollah lebanon would have been a kewl place and maybe sk8 parkes will be formed ................... yo can u plese tell me if u did find any sk8 park in leb if u did tell me where ..................... Subject: !!! Date: Nov 03 2006 11:35:50 AM Author: Sarah Lebanon rocks dude!!! Subject: sick Date: Sep 27 2006 12:41:18 AM Author: Rony heyy dudes im lebanese been there all my life and if you want i can show you some pretty sick (and safe) places to skate no hassles no nothin lebanon is the shitt Subject: &#9835;&#9564;&#9565;É&#9827;&#9830;Y Date: Mar 03 2006 06:34:56 AM Author: &#9827;&#9830;&#9830;&#9827;&#9824;&#9675;&#9688;• &#9675;•&#9688;&#9675;&#9675;&#9824;& ;#9827;&#9824;&#9827;&#9830;&#9786;&#978 7;&#9829;&#9829;&#9829;&#9829; Subject: nice Date: Jan 07 2006 10:42:28 AM Author: george well,i may be the only true skater here who dont go and pose like some shitheads here,i skate for fun,anyway,what u guys did is really great,keep it up, and i live in beirut,does anyone skate(for fun) and live in beirut too,cuz i'd like to meet him/her and we can skate together.and where the hell can i find a skatepark here in beirut,bhayete ma chefet skatepark!! p.s: i'm 16,male...and FUCK POSERS!,i really need someone that i can chill and skate with,someone who skate for fun,just for fun! Subject: skate Date: Oct 12 2005 04:16:33 PM Author: evan bomb hills not countries! Subject: skating in beirut Date: Oct 11 2005 11:06:57 AM Author: kenny reed planning to come over and skate.. looking for some skaters to meet with! Subject: nvm Date: Sep 14 2005 05:41:07 AM Author: john i guess a lot of stuff changed in lebanon now cuz when we went out into the country there were barely any check points and they didnt check passports or nothin Subject: yeah Date: Sep 01 2005 05:30:46 PM Author: Dennis mAnougian First off longboards are the shit...the only way to break 55mph, your not ever gonna go that fast on yer little park deck. secondly that shit is real...I was born in lebanon but grew up here, but i been back often enongh. The hills are sic there and you can skate where ever you want, ecexpt Ive never had a problem with a video cam and anyone telling me not to film. Subject: none Date: Aug 11 2005 11:29:33 AM Author: John im originally from washington state but my dad was transfered to lebanon like a year ago. i no theres a skatepark in beirut but wheres the second? i never get out of the beirut area cuz my parents say if u get caught in a lebanese check point without a lebanese passport they'll like be mad or i dunno. but anyway if u guys ever come back here go to downtown and country club called Mtaileb country club next to the U.S. embassy. i waxed like all the ledges there in case ur wondering. Subject: nice work fellas Date: Aug 10 2005 04:21:06 AM Author: lighty good to see someone still takes inspiration from the undiscovered...even if its on a longboard...unfortunately seems to be the shorter the board the smaller the imagination. Subject: will u kiss my ass? Date: Jul 11 2005 04:12:38 AM Author: asshole you are 2 freaks i mean why the hell did u go 2 lebanon if u have the best skate parks. u r 2 shitholes who dont give a fuck about skateboarding. how the hell that it just happened that u went 2 all the hizbullah places i believe u r fucking backword ass spies. i mean outa all lebanon u decide 2 go 2 wherever u can find hizbullah ppl.how come u didnt go 2 any christian places Subject: ayri fikon Date: Jul 11 2005 04:00:43 AM Author: what the fuck who the hell skates in sabra w shatila u idiots, its the scariest place on earth why didnt they shoot u? ur just little american kids who think they could do whatever the fuck they want and no 1 would do anything 2 u. i mean skating in south of lebanon thats so lame.kiss imkon shou 7ameer Subject: K3 is the best skate team Date: Jul 10 2005 11:16:00 AM Author: lebanese skater I'm a lebanese chik and i skate in beirut and those guys maybe speaking the truth but there's no war in lebanon. We skate everyday and cops come and watch us. these guys should have skated in the city of beirut coz it has the best places ever.plus there are 2 skate parks. Subject: Fucking cool skating Date: Jul 02 2005 09:00:19 AM Author: ziad (Lebanon) It was cool to skate in these parts dude.In NON TOURISTIC areas.but you're lucky you didn't end up in a shithole somewhere in Lebanon or Syria.(If you where locals,you would have end up in some interrogation place),come skate again soon,It's far better now,but some things are still the same. Subject: skate and destroy- Israel Date: Jun 20 2005 02:49:31 AM Author: nathan (American) I really liked this site, but come on! Israel should bomb the F*** out of these guys they deserve every hit. As well does any other country that is over there. Including this so-called Palestine-ie Jordians, living in Israel. It puzzles me why? they didnt go to Israel? and cheap flights? Is it not like 3000 thousand smacks to go there? Good story!!thought Subject: dumbass Date: Jun 09 2005 10:45:56 AM Author: yeah. you went all the way to beirut to skate? why didnt u just go down the street ..and beirut amigo?? c mon.. Subject: dunno Date: Jun 03 2005 10:45:56 AM Author: ahmad sahli hey guys i live in jordan and i used to live in america i moved here a year ago, not many people skate here but it has the best skate spots i always go out and skate for hours in public areas and they dont give a shit, and u can keep ur tapes also. u guys should come check it out here its alot better than lebanon. Subject: s Date: May 28 2005 11:35:26 AM Author: Flockus Ehmm...The ignorance is great in this article. "What is this hizbollah thingy?" - hate them americanas Subject: u are morons Date: May 09 2005 06:10:25 AM Author: Israelian all of u US and Euro peeps think u know soething about israel? lebanon? sabra and shatila? let me point one fact, they bomb us we bomb them. sabra and shatila was hell i know, my country killed everything that moved there, but u know what? EVERY FUCKING COUNTRY did it at least once! so stop trying to be the perfect warless country that exsists! FFS! hiroshima? nagasaki? FUCK U! u killed ppl more then we did... germany? holocaust? milions of ppl. japanese in their WW2 labor camps? killed TONS of us soldiers, but noooooo when israel did one act in sabra and shatila u allow yourself to remember that and forget your acts! EVERY COUNTRY DID something like that! name a country and ill give u their war crimes. so b4 u come and blame israel in war crimes go fuck yourself and look at your hostory first, cunts Subject: like dis Date: Feb 28 2005 10:11:36 PM Author: jody You're all trash-talking babies. This article is super good. I just read it for the first time and it brings to light some interesting stuff, especially in light of the recent bombing in Beirut. I like the style and vibe. Subject: this article Date: Feb 13 2005 07:33:50 PM Author: tom yes i.m pretty dubious about the authenticity of this article. it smells of piss, a bit. it sounds part factual part fantasy. i;m not questioning the facts particularly justn the style. cunting longboard spasticks. i fel like a one man lynch mob. soft tyres- wankers, Subject: mmmmmm Date: Feb 13 2005 07:14:59 PM Author: tom i haven,t read this article yet but i have read the comments.theres some pretty fucking weird people out there. how offensive are these poor little tourists. jesus on a bike Subject: you're a retard Date: Feb 07 2005 08:02:37 PM Author: Snack Faysal Hey Mr. "I live in Lebanon" try throwing rocks at the Muhabarat and skating all over the Borj while taking pics. Then you won't be allowed to skate the park and you will get your film taken. Subject: i live in lebanon Date: Jan 08 2005 11:06:13 AM Author: faysal no one prevents you from skating in lebanon and no one wont allow u to enter the sin el fill skate park ive been to there is no syrian bull shit around to stop you and no one will take your film Subject: you're stupid Date: Dec 26 2004 12:14:36 PM Author: Dude really Subject: COLECTIVE YURACAN Date: Nov 25 2004 02:13:25 PM Author: YURACAN THE MUSIC ELECTRONIC IS NOW NO FEAR ESCUCHA A YURACAN ATT. DJ CUC Subject: Fok Beirut Date: Oct 03 2004 11:09:33 AM Author: Tsafan Man, if u wanna great place to skate.. goto Israel. Great skateparks, friendliest skaters in the world, and no-one will try to kill u.. (at least no Israelis!) Subject: Perhaps... Date: Apr 29 2004 07:28:24 AM Author: AnsarLebanon Perhaps: Skate- and destroy Israel.Ruin the bastards. Subject: Heading- Israel? Date: Apr 29 2004 07:26:43 AM Author: AnsarLebanon Does Israel deserve it's despicable name in the heading because they are bombing Libyan targets and massacred people in Sabra and Shatillah? Beirut is in LEBANON. Hence the heading should be: SKATE OR DIE- LEBANON. Excellent story... Subject: . Date: Apr 16 2004 09:45:08 AM Author: . you stupid cunt Subject: you boys are a bit silly, aren't you? Date: Apr 13 2004 04:22:34 PM Author: jonny i had a friend who bullets would slide off. that is, until he got shot. whoops... Subject: evolution Date: Apr 12 2004 08:11:59 AM Author: darwin Subject: natural selection Date: Mar 14 2004 06:10:54 PM Author: P.Ivory luckily, natural selection dictates that idiots like tyrone won't reproduce ...and many years later the ape gets the stick outta his ass and evolves a senses of humour. Subject: Tyrone you rule.... Date: Apr 08 2004 10:03:57 AM Author: johnny florida That was the best skate article I've read since Thrasher had articles in it (many moons ago). Totally fresh, totally unpretentious, again alot like skating was before money mad dorks starting taking over and charging you extrotionate cash for skate clothing.....f**kers. Subject: sk8 Beirut Date: Apr 06 2004 03:21:23 PM Author: crisis lets go! Subject: sissy crybabies Date: Apr 06 2004 02:45:07 PM Author: Jethro Sportsmedicine Skateboarding culture as been co-opted by so many lame corporations and been watered down in the mass media for so long that I think critique should be welcomed by all quarters. Look, the guy who wrote the article seems like an OK guy, and whether the situation in Lebanon is as dicey as he portrays I don't know. But ultimately he lied about or exagerrated his credentials as a skateboarder, and certainly what was possible on a longboard built for cruising the streets. And I am in a position to point out that fact (as are thousands ofothers). I don't give a rat's fucking ass if people want to longboard their days away. Good for them. But when they start claiming they start stepping on people's toes. So I call them out. And then a bunch of clowns get offended and call me a hater. Criticism must have hit close to home, huh guys? Never in the history of the Sportsmedicine family has our reputation been so maligned. From now on, I will only offer up "chakas" to my longboard brethren, invite them to my home for a "pull" off of my "chillum," peruse the latest "edition" of International Longboarder, try to "chill" and be "mellow" so that I am "down," and just generally throw out the "good" "vibes." Actually, fuck that. YOU KOOKS ARE TRYING TO MELLOW MY HARSH AND IT AIN'T GONNA WORK. EAT A BAG OF DICKS. Subject: cheap ass Date: Apr 06 2004 02:22:02 PM Author: bullshit respect 4 whole months!!?!!?!! If you ever went into the Bekaa and got off the main road you'd know the story was true, butthole. Subject: fucked up story Date: Apr 06 2004 12:59:16 AM Author: Jay smk ..What the fuck is that ?? i actually went to Lebanon(for 4 months!!!!) and seen how beirut is like for real.. nothin like these fuckers describe it. War is over, streets are quiet and you can fucken skate wherever the fuck you feel like it. no one would really be "squeezing off a couple of rounds in the air " like this guy probably saw in some movie.hey Tyrone u either didn't go there or made up 1/2 of it to get some cheap ass bullshit respect. Subject: amazing Date: Apr 05 2004 09:18:08 PM Author: Christian Tuttle That makes me want to become a skater. If only all diplomats were like you guys. Subject: holyfuckingshit Date: Apr 05 2004 05:42:23 PM Author: BarelyLegalLizzy This is the best article i've ever fucking read. Subject: Great Date: Apr 04 2004 11:25:13 AM Author: Joe Brisco One helluva ride. Thanks J. Tyrone and Jay for being real men. Subject: terrific! Date: Apr 03 2004 06:44:39 AM Author: cidone guess, you got it! this article is da best written! Subject: yeah yeah yeah Date: Apr 02 2004 10:58:50 PM Author: parker bomb hills not countries Subject: what up??? Date: Apr 02 2004 05:27:55 PM Author: yizbiz This article is da best. No comparison in the history of VICE. YOU GET IT ON! Subject: oblivious.. Date: Apr 02 2004 02:30:31 PM Author: Lorraine This article made me remember why I hate 90 percent of skateboarders. Subject: Yeah Date: Apr 01 2004 01:54:10 PM Author: Dignan This article and the hardcore band in Iraq was actually worth a shit. Subject: The "What" Willis Was Talkin About... Date: Mar 31 2004 11:55:18 PM Author: arnold This is not a drill people. I repeat: This is FOR REAL. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3 283935165 Subject: mo' Date: Mar 31 2004 07:47:26 PM Author: of dis Vice, If you ever read these posts get these guys to write more. It's good as hell. Subject: cheese-dick Date: Mar 31 2004 05:10:41 PM Author: sk-haters i'm cheesedick...and i hate sector 9...my opinion should be your opinion...i am so hard and everyone else is so soft...they said vert pipe....ha ha...they must be gay....i know everyone in the skate industry and i don't know anyone who likes sector nine....so be like me...get your hate on....or i'll call you all a bunch of sissies...don't front yo...bling, bling, dog.... Subject: HOW EMBARRASING Date: Mar 31 2004 10:52:58 AM Author: MRS. SPORTSMEDICINE I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY SONS LIL' JUANITO AND QUESOWICK. I HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE SUCH HATERS. I THOUGHT I RAISED THEM BETTER THAN THAT. SO GO TO YOUR ROOM BOYS AND NO INTERNET FOR YOU. GOOD TRAVEL STORY. A SKATER WILL SKATE, AND A HATER IS A "REAL"BITCH! Subject: Whoa Date: Mar 30 2004 11:20:57 PM Author: Linds You guys are rad. This article is awesome. Subject: vice is a shitrag Date: Mar 30 2004 01:46:59 AM Author: timebomb the best thing vice has printed in at least 1.5 years. so tired of the lame jade. the skater's had, at least, the spirit of exploration. something this shitrag has been sorely missing. Subject: The Hell? Date: Mar 29 2004 01:31:35 PM Author: What? The sportsmedicines are stupid. The phrase Skate and Destroy Israel is TWO clauses. 1)Skate. 2)Destroy Israel. Go to grammar class and/or a political histroy class PLEASE. Subject: Dumb Date: Mar 29 2004 01:21:29 PM Author: Munch You are (almost)all shitheads. The deal here is not a personal feeling about whether "longboarding" is "real" skating or not. These guys had an idea few would have (to skate, or do anything, in Hezbollah country) and the balls to pull it off. The places listed in the article (Baalbek, Bourj al Barajneh and the Bekaa Valley) are seriously hard-ass places. I wouldn't want to be caught there, much less on any kind of skateboard. So to down to your neighborhood skate shop and argue about longboards vs. other skateboards. Subject: What? Date: Mar 29 2004 12:51:00 PM Author: Ronnie Lee I've been skateboarding my whole life and I have nothing to say except that Sector Nine will sponsor anyone willing to be embarassed about their free boards. The story sounds legit. Subject: my bad Date: Mar 26 2004 10:28:42 AM Author: dip/rip Sorry Juan...I am one of them. oops. Subject: uncircumsized twins Date: Mar 26 2004 01:52:21 AM Author: Cheesedick Does anyone know who did that song "uncircumsized twins"? IT was on a Killed By Death comp. Dude who wrote this article might be an uncircumsized twin. I am, and damn proud. Subject: Eat a bag Date: Mar 26 2004 01:44:40 AM Author: Juan Sportsmedicine Cheesedick, how you gonna skate and destroy Israel from Lebanon, fuckknuckle? My whole point: those longboard softies did very little destroying. Eat a bag of dicks. As for you, Dip/Rip, even though I know Sector Nine is a joke and you are a ninny for sticking up for them, I did check out their website. Did you? Some sissy '70s carving graphics, and a team list that reads like a who-in-the-hell not a who's who. Jake Piaseki used to rip vert in the late 1980s, but I guess there's always room for a few folks to milk it if someone's gonna write the check. And the rest of the guys have cheesey photos (slash grind, brah!). Finally, any skateboard company that has a surf section, not to mention a wakeboard section, is plain fucked. What, are you a total shithead? The only thing Sector 9 was good for was backing Illenium, but that didn;t last long. But if you checked the Sector 9 website and you thought that they weren't a joke company catering to burned out longboarders who skate to the liquor store and back, throwing up the hang loose sign, looking for more of that kind bud, you are most likely one of them. Hey, hippies are harmless, and some of them have good drugs. Yolanda, on with the gag fuck. But seriously, how could I let some longboard kook front like he really skates and knows what's up? Signed, Juan Sportsmedicine, Cheswick's brother Subject: boaring Date: Mar 26 2004 12:03:55 AM Author: reel Real, I am glad you thought the article was boaring. I am glad you think "longboarding" is Boaring. I am pleased you feel gay pride is BOARING. BOARING! Subject: look within Date: Mar 25 2004 07:01:11 PM Author: REAL I think that every one missed the point of what is so dissable about the article. Longboarders are gay, and they suck at regular skateboarding. Yes, I said it "regular skateboarding". I didn't even finish this article, because it was so boaring. These guys are such a small part of the real skating scene that they should be forgotten all togther. Don't get me wong, different strokes for different folks and all, but they can eat a dick. Sorry to rain on your gay pride march longboarders! Subject: es como caramba! Date: Mar 25 2004 06:39:11 PM Author: amanda its like wow cool trip you know what aj is hot Subject: yo yolanda Date: Mar 25 2004 03:17:31 PM Author: drummer yo yolanda why dont you go gag and choke on these nuts you stupid crack whore!! i guess your specialty is gaging on all types of cock and balls huh princess?? Subject: Niger Timmy = Hilarious Date: Mar 25 2004 01:51:03 AM Author: whitey Niger Timmy you rock my world. Whats like the big deal over there hhya those Hezbolla guys seem totally alright, why can't we all just get along !?!! It like, doesn't like, make sense ahahuahh skateboarding is neat !!! my balls are itchy Subject: gag-fucking Date: Mar 24 2004 10:52:38 PM Author: yolanda If anyone else talks about skating or corrects the technical details of this article I will be force to gag-fuck their throats. Subject: shit Date: Mar 24 2004 10:17:33 PM Author: dip/rip I don't know where cheswick is from, and I'm sorry for taking him away from his "real skateboard business" but his critique is simply wrong re. Sec9 boards. Go to the website and see. Subject: cheesedick Date: Mar 24 2004 09:54:12 PM Author: cheesedick It's skate and destroy Israel you stupid fuck Cheswick. Not, skate and destroy: Israel. Go back to your "work" in East Timor. Subject: SKATE Date: Mar 24 2004 05:38:49 PM Author: eRASe! skate Subject: Vert Ramp Date: Mar 24 2004 03:32:22 PM Author: Fielding Mellish That park in the background of that pic looks better than most of the skate parks that have been popping up lately. Is that sheet metal on the vert ramp? Subject: the rest Date: Mar 24 2004 01:14:28 PM Author: Cheswick Sportsmedicine Forgot to add: Why is it "Skate and Destroy: Israel." Last time I checked, Beirut was in Lebanon. Oh yeah, one more criticism about skate terminology: "busted some air" is another thing those dorky ESPN guys would say. Please stick to carving mellow hills and let real skateboarders get on with their business. Subject: yo! Date: Mar 24 2004 01:22:20 PM Author: funky drummer i agree with cheswick, i think the fucking board would of snapped within the first ollie. and its not compatible for use on that half pipe. i trully believe that those dudes would of got thier asses shot a long time ago skating around in that muthafucker!!! Subject: some but not all Date: Mar 24 2004 01:13:39 PM Author: Cheswick Sportsmedicine Awright, sorry, I had to respond to this one. I believe the guy went to Beirut to skate. The picture looks real enough. I have brought my board to fucked up places as well (East Timor, for one, but not just to skate, to do work -- skating was an aside). What nobody picked up on is that this guy doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about skate wise. He didn't pull a Jayson-Blair-I-wasn't-really-there, but he sure as shit doesn't know jack about skating other than rolling down hills. First, he called a vert ramp a "vert pipe." Nobody but those know-nothing idiots at ESPN say shit like that. It is a "half-pipe" or a "vert ramp," not a "vert pipe." Yeah dude, shred the rad. Next, look at the skateboard in the photos and the description of the boards he brought with him. Yeah bro, are you really gonna go shred pools with a narrow downhill board (that probably flexes) with soft wheels? What are you gonna do on the "vert pipe," kickturns half way up the tranny? For that matter, how are you gonna pull hammers on rails with that wack college campus style cruiser, or even ollie to get that thing off the ground? Sector 9s are widely respected among the cruiser crowd, but are considered a joke by anyone who skates street or ramps seriously. Dude probably pushes mongo footed too. Subject: You really went!?!?!?!?!? Date: Mar 24 2004 01:11:06 PM Author: Fielding Mellish No shit?!?!?!? Subject: in picture Date: Mar 23 2004 03:34:51 PM Author: J.T. Johnny Tyrone is in the picture and it is Beirut. Subject: Parody Date: Mar 23 2004 01:11:49 PM Author: Fielding Mellish I hope that the writer of the article is making fun of how oblivious skaters, and to a certain extent, Americans tourists are, when they are confronted with cultures, ideas, and esecially restrictions, that they don't understand. Take the Syrian Mukhabarat Agent for example. Those camps that the skaters talk about, Shatila and Sabra, are where almost 2000 Palestinian refugees were massacred by Phalangist militiamen, while Israeli troops looked the other way, in the early 80's, during the Lebanese Civil War. BEST LINE OF ARTICLE: "The streets were empty and quiet, but from the looks of the buildings, a ton of shit probably happened here" I've been skating for 15 years and this is a great satire of how skaters (and many Americans in general) perceive other countries: as their playground. Fortunately, there are skaters and Americans that respect cultural and economic differences and divisions. My only question is, who is in the picture and was it actually taken in Beirut? Subject: ain't no thang Date: Mar 23 2004 12:11:16 PM Author: Sveden This article don't sound made up. I've read some shit about Lebanon and it all jives with what's in here. Pretty killer. Subject: Skateboard is nice Date: Mar 23 2004 07:31:24 AM Author: Pre I like this story,even if it is a made up.www.geocities.com/preart81 Subject: gnerfins Date: Mar 23 2004 01:42:19 AM Author: persack what the fuck are you talking about sarcasm? these dudes are hella bad ass. even e forty gotta look out for the hellakiznopters. these boys just heavy on the griznind intergamin', biatch! Subject: Dig Date: Mar 22 2004 07:39:21 PM Author: La Joya GREAT ARTICLE!!!!! Subject: sk8erz rule Date: Mar 22 2004 01:56:23 PM Author: Tony Hawk THESE GUYS ARE MY HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!! Subject: RE: illiterates? Date: Mar 21 2004 11:20:15 AM Author: yons I can't believe people actually took that article seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have absolutely no comprehension of sarcasm or irony? The article was fucking hilarious and brilliantly constructed. How can you people actually function with such poor basic literacy skills? Subject: skate trip Date: Mar 21 2004 08:15:19 AM Author: barney thats something people are either too stupid or too scared to do. anyway...really really interesting...i think its great. Subject: none Date: Mar 21 2004 02:58:46 AM Author: jew from canada "I don't know who these Hizbullah dudes are, or why Israel keeps bombing them" the author is stupid...probably choked on a peanut on the plane-ride home. Subject: what. Date: Mar 20 2004 02:56:51 PM Author: art fuckin amazing... Subject: sigh Date: Mar 20 2004 01:36:43 PM Author: thegetdownsound its a goddamn shame that irony is taboo in underground culture. knee-jerk reactionism is totally the new cynicism! OMG! tubular! Subject: hatei Date: Mar 19 2004 10:52:50 PM Author: montin biks montin biks suk rel bad. Scating islots beter. Hatei al so suks. Lebnon sownds badas thow. Subject: sarcasm Date: Mar 19 2004 08:51:12 PM Author: jay maybe naomi is doubling-down on the irony, thereby running an uberclever end-around on all the single-malt sarcasm the rest of us enjoy. Good one Naomi! Subject: ? Date: Mar 19 2004 07:09:59 PM Author: ? i find it hard to believe that their are people who read vice who do not understand sarcasm and the idea of cliche, what do you get out of this mag. Subject: I can't belive you idiots Date: Mar 19 2004 05:22:38 PM Author: Naomi Are you all fucking kidding me?!? The BEST article Vice has done yet?!?! Okay okay - it may be 'the best' but only becuase most of them are full-on bullshit. I couldn't wait to get to the end of the article so I could scroll down and read a bunch of comments slagging him. "...but from the looks of the buildings, a ton of shit probably happened here." Again - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! PROBABLY?!?! Beirut Motherfucker?!? you'd better believe a ton of shit happened there. Have you EVER read a newspaper? Get off your skateboard and open your fucking eyes to the world around you - you ignorant American shit. Subject: JOHNNY TYRONE Date: Mar 19 2004 03:41:51 PM Author: carbon_fiber JOHNNY TYRONE, yeah, that sounds like a very legit, not-made up name. Gavin? Solid article though. Next time do the same thing in Haiti, but with impressive looking dual suspension mountain bikes Subject: rock on bra Date: Mar 19 2004 12:49:56 AM Author: doubled those dudes are just idiots theyre lucky they made it out without get fucked up Subject: biggiez Date: Mar 17 2004 07:50:25 PM Author: lil toomie Hizbullah? For reals? This is some legitshit. Subject: student Date: Mar 17 2004 06:00:53 PM Author: Inglewood Unified School District I like people who go somewhere to do something gnarly. It's better than going to Bermuda and wearing Bermudas. Subject: Long Blonde Golden Hair Date: Mar 17 2004 11:38:30 AM Author: Nigger Timmy Long Blonde Cunt Oh How I Wish I Could But With The Serpent and the Runt Long Blonde Golden Cunt... Subject: any ass who disses me Date: Mar 17 2004 08:35:45 AM Author: george bush i agree with you all Subject: adfs Date: Mar 17 2004 12:52:32 AM Author: THOMAS i'm looking forward to when skating becomes uncool again. look at that long blond hair! i like the ethipian guy, he's nice, and kind. Subject: Downtown LA Date: Mar 16 2004 07:11:19 PM Author: hitachi i like skating downtown LA hills but the yuppies and film crews are gay. Subject: Vision Street Riot Gear Date: Mar 16 2004 12:29:51 PM Author: Homeless Cop Solid.......very solid. Subject: linda mijuer Date: Mar 15 2004 07:34:28 PM Author: University of California Berkeley Best article ever in Vice. I love these two rockstars!!!!!!! Subject: Seekingaplaymate Date: Mar 15 2004 07:34:28 PM Author: perez This article kicks ass. That ethopian skater sounds like he had a good trip as well. Too bad he doesn't write, or skate, as well as Johnny Tyrone or Jay. Also too bad he uses phrases like "tubular." IRONY MAKES YOU STUPID Subject: A song i wrote in sixth grade Date: Mar 15 2004 04:31:03 PM Author: Nigger Timmy this article reminded me a hardcore punk song i wrote when i was in sixth grade. i am now 27 and washed out as shit: skate of die in berlin you know that you aint my friend skate or die in berlin you know that you aint my friend if you dont skate of die skate or die! skate or die in berlin... that's it. god i am a genius... Subject: Sk8 or Die!!!!! Date: Mar 15 2004 04:11:12 PM Author: Nigger Timmy last summer, i did the same thing in ethiopia with a dear friend of mine, joehann... we skated on the corpse of a starved african child (totally tubular). then we did a mctwist on a huge mound of human waste and dead AIDS patients. did a massive rail slide on an irrigation pipe, slammin buddy! and we were able to eat for the price of a cup of coffee the whole trip. it was fucking radical dudes!!!! i have AIDS now!!!!!! fucking A!!!! Subject: Bush+Coke= America in the shitter. Date: Mar 15 2004 01:35:09 PM Author: fuckin' mayhem deluxe You guys have the fuckin conviction. let it ride. Fuck Bush. It's about time that Muslims put down their fuckin AK's and pick up a board. Keep up the street hassle. Subject: Amerikan Way Date: Mar 14 2004 06:22:17 PM Author: John Tinker This article is solid. Best that vice has done yet...This world needs more nuts like Jay and Johnny taking American skate attitude out into the Islamic world. It's a hell of a lot better than tight ass politicos. Subject: natural selection Date: Mar 14 2004 06:10:54 PM Author: P.Ivory luckily, natural selection dictates that idiots like tyrone won't reproduce Subject: Fuckin' Rock Date: Mar 14 2004 05:00:26 PM Author: Hardcore That article was the fuckin' bom. Those two fuckers rocked the skateworld lik sublime. Does anyone have the album 40oz??? Subject: Whhhaaat Date: Mar 14 2004 09:04:35 AM Author: Otis Lee That's a wicked trip. I can't believe they went to the Bekaa Valley though, that place is fucked up. Subject: good call Date: Mar 13 2004 05:55:34 PM Author: spicy spice take me with you.. canada skating is for chumps Subject: Radical! Date: Mar 13 2004 08:35:11 AM Author: doktor doom Dude! that raghead just shot me in the kidney! Awesome! Subject: bitch Date: Mar 13 2004 03:14:57 AM Author: the daggers watch out for the daggers bitch Subject: WERD Date: Mar 12 2004 05:58:04 PM Author: FM Sounds like a fuckin nice trip,but wait a min do you know that fuckin lebanon was in war for more than 10 years..And fuckin Syrian bitch still tryin to control the country..fuck it,,lets sk8! Subject: Dear Fagboy... Date: Mar 12 2004 03:02:47 PM Author: They should've shot your ass What do you mean, "deeper meaning"? I don't get it....missed what?? Oh, you mean like the whole freakin magazine? Uh yeah, I caught that, Subject: literal readers Date: Mar 12 2004 02:49:22 PM Author: fanboy i think there is a much deeper meaning behind what this dude is talking about. maybe you missed it? Subject: Duuuude Date: Mar 12 2004 02:27:01 PM Author: They should've shot your ass What are you, an asshole?