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If your kids have moved out and your wife no longer gives a shit what you have to say it’s time to tell them all to fuck off and start a new life as a really slutty Fleetwood Mac groupie with venereal warts.
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If you were never accepted by the in-crowd during adolescence, one trick is to grow up, make tons of money, move to Manhattan’s Lower East Side, have kids like this, and give them whatever they want their whole lives. Then you can just go, “Let me hang out and be cool or you’re all grounded!”
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THE TIT FAIRY
Ooh La La Keeps Nude Dancers Well Dressed

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When cops and skinheads are waiting on every street corner to pound you into a coma and you sit around in partisan sweatshirts smoking hookahs with white chicks, you have way more than just balls. You have medicine balls. Comments/Enlarge | See all




THE TIT FAIRY

Ooh La La Keeps Nude Dancers Well Dressed


Photo by Jamie-James Medina. Ooh La La wear modelled by Minty and Delphine.


Right now, Ooh La La is the most talked-about range of pole-dancing wear in the British sex industry.

Based in Camden, London, founder and head designer Michelle Ochnachie has unrelentingly pumped out bikinis, garter belts, and tube tops since 1995, when she had the epiphany that exotic-dance aficionados were getting tired of thongs. Michelle creates eye-blasting outfits by affixing hundreds of thousands of sequins and yards of lace on psychedelically colored Lycra to create outfits that are durable, flexible, and guaranteed to brighten up the day of even the most jaded, alcoholic strip-club regular (with a neglected wife at home and a job that’s slowly killing him).

The fact that Michelle sells her work by personally visiting the girls every week with gigantic boxes overflowing with outfits is a little reminiscent of that time my friend Anthony Fearpini was trying to unload seven cases of ski goggles for $2 a pop, but who are we to ask questions? Did you ask questions when that Italian dude in Jersey City was selling you Camels for 50 cents a pack? It’s none of your business where she gets her shit.

One of Ooh La La’s biggest fans is Minty. She’s 24 and strips at one of East London’s most famous strip spots. She’s saving up for a liver operation but is too proud to mention it when collecting £1 tips in a pint glass. We asked her to tell us why Oooh La La is so popular and she motioned to her best friend as if to say, “Ask ’er. I’m knackered.”

The friend, Delphine, is 25 and moved to the UK from Paris to try her luck as a professional samba dancer. That didn’t work out, and she is stripping to pay for a ticket home. She is the perfect Ooh La la customer. “They’re glittery, so as soon as you come out of the changing rooms you get noticed,” she reports. “Also, after you’ve sweated for an hour you usually want to wash your outfit. Ooh La Las dry really quickly, so they’re glamorous and practical.”

JACK STEEL

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