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Why couldn’t Dylan Carlson have lent the shotgun to this fey little grunge turd instead? Sure, his sister and mom would cry at the funeral but at least nobody would be stealing their Super Shiny Straightening Serum anymore. Comments/Enlarge | See all



We saw this grown ass man at JFK and just to recap: he is wearing his peepeejammer bottoms and carrying around a felt orange neck pillow like it’s a wubbie. Is there a way we can get the terrorists to only blow up his plane?
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SOUND AND VISION
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IRON LADY
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Photos by Erwan Fichou






BEATS AND RHYMES
It ain't how much you say, it's what you ...
GAMES
Midnight Club 2
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CHRISTI BRADNOX
SHOUT AT THE DEVIL
Will Munro Gets His Knickers In A Twist O...
EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
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THE WAR AGAINST KRYLON
Bombing Is Encouraged All Over Europe
TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v9n1

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Sorry to namedrop but hanging with the likes of Cobrasnake, the dude from Good Charlotte, and Steve Aoki makes you feel like you’re really there, in the center of it all. Celebrities just have a weird magical energy that’s hard to explain to people that haven’t experienced it.
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Photo by Peter Sutherland.



Erik Lavoie is many great things to many great people. Like what? Shit, it’s hard to know where to begin. Like with God. Do you start when he was born? Do you talk about what he does today? I don’t know.

He’s made love to hundreds of beautiful women (doy), but what great man hasn’t? Look at Malcolm X or Muhammad Ali or even Martin Luther King. Being a genius with impeccable style and poise means you are incredibly libidinous and incredibly surrounded by babes. Try not to fuck him.

More importantly, however, Erik is a true gentleman. In the most traditional sense of the word. Though he grew up in the rural outskirts of Montreal, his erudite demeanor means he is as comfortable chewing poutine in Rouyan-Noranda with a lonely fisherman as he is playing tennis in the Hamptons with the Princess of Lubeiska.

Does that make him a snob? Fuck you. Erik doesn’t bet on horses; he trains them. He doesn’t sponsor boxing matches; he enters them. And he doesn’t race cars; he repairs them. He isn’t on the front lines. Motherfucker is the front lines.

Part of this success is due to Erik’s relentless dedication to self-improvement. “I’m always trying to outdo myself,” he tells us from the weight room of his home. “I don’t care if I’m lifting twice as much as other people my size. For me, it’s about lifting twice as much as last week. And so on and so on—forever.”

No wonder this man has amassed enough money, power, and friends in (dangerously) high places to take over the entire Western world. Erik Lavoie is a living legend. A man who knows no boundaries. He is the sun and the moon and the stars. He is more man than you will ever be and more woman than you will ever get.

CHRISTI BRADNOX

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