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“Freaking” is a dance we like to make fun of that simulates doggy-style lovemaking. Some mime pioneers have taken that premise even farther and began a yet unnamed dance that simulates fucking a bitch in half with a 300 lb walrus-shaped dick and then drowning her in cum.
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Southeast Asia is filled with tons of white guys with no game that want to give talking to hot chicks a try. Too bad they are the gayest, stupidest, corniest hot chicks in the entire fucking world.
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ERIK LAVOIE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND
And 13 Other Girls Talk About Their Priva...
SURAPHON CHANPHANITPORNK
Goes Toe-to-Toe with Erik Lavoie






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MAD SPITTING
Dizzee Rascal Sets the Fires
VA CHIER
Mon Esti de Calissede Tabernac de Criss d...
LOST IN SPACE
M83 Was Discovered in 1751



This guy has such an unpunk face he looks like a computer program where you can see what you would look like as other “guys.” Comments/Enlarge | See all




Photo by Glynnis McDaris.



VICE: First of all, it is a real honor to be talking to you, and thank you for birthing Erik Lavoie.

Pennie Lavoie: You’re welcome.

What did Erik look like when he was first brought unto the world? Was he glowing?

Oh, just a wrinkly little baby. You wouldn’t have recognized him.

What was it like giving birth to a legend? He must have just slid right out like sifted gold.

He was late, actually. After being two and a half weeks overdue, they sent me to the hospital to be induced. They tried for ten hours but it didn’t work, so they sent me home and told me to come back a week later. But that night I went into labor.

Maybe he was so reluctant to come out because he knew mortals would have trouble accepting him, like Superman.

I think he was just lazy. Or really comfortable.

Did you always know that Erik was the chosen one?

We always knew he was special, yes. It was strange having such a special and magical child in my home.

Was there jealousy on his siblings’ part? It must be hard to be in his shadow. It’s like, imagine being Buddha’s little brother.

I think they just enjoyed being connected to somebody famous. It’s beneficial for them.

Have you ever seen Erik fly?

Actually, yes. He used to do flying trapeze. We were the Flying Lavoies. I had a flying trapeze school and we would put on shows and teach lessons.

Do you remember Erik’s first words? I sort of picture him saying “bequeath” or “melodious” for his first word.

It was the name of our dog, Sam. I was always yelling at the dog, so he heard the name a lot.

What were Erik’s boyhood diversions? Did he play tennis, race cars, box?

He was passionate about Lego. He used to horseback ride, and he started skiing when he was three years old. He also represented our area in the water-skiing event in the Quebec Games when he was fifteen.

DENNIS ROMANS

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