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He’s hoping that girls will see his Mediterranean teddy bear face as soft and comforting, which is ironic because it’s making me want to punch away all the soft tissue on my knuckles. Comments/Enlarge | See all



Sometimes it takes the truly grotesque to show people the evil that lurks right beneath their noses. Sorry we had to do this, but do you get what we’re saying about Tevas now?
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ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY PAM
Australian Fashion Gods That Get It
FAST TIMES
Black Lips Won't Be Stopped
CRAZY OR RIGHTEOUS?
AZ, the Five Percent, and Evil White Men ...
ZOOM TOWN BLOOS
By Lorenzo Van Der Lingen






ERIK LAVOIE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND
And 13 Other Girls Talk About Their Priva...
TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v10n5
WHO IS ERIK LAVOIE?
And What Becomes a Legend Most?
MAD SPITTING
Dizzee Rascal Sets the Fires



ERIK ANTHONY LAVOIE
VA CHIER
Mon Esti de Calissede Tabernac de Criss d...
GO SHIT
My Host of Chalice of Tabernacle of Dumb ...

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No matter how hot it gets, Europeans would rather die (their heat wave death toll is already approaching 2003’s record of 35,000) than resort to the rags and flip flops you lazy fucking Americans indulge in.
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Photo by Roe Ethridge.



Everything was going good. I was in secondary one. I went to the Lafontaine Academy of St. Jérome. I was an English French Quebecois who knew all the jokes in Slap Shot, Elvis Gratton, and Blue Powder like all the others. The sole difference was that I would speak English at home with my family. For me, speaking English was always an advantage. Just until my second year of secondary school. At that moment it became a veritable nightmare. The famous Bill 101 [an anti-English law instilled to preserve French culture] had returned to the political décor.

Day after day, the Christs of caves commenced hassling me, flying Christs at me, teasing me, preventing me from sitting with my friends in the café, saying “no ‘blokes’ at the table,” writing on my locker “Return to Ontario, square head” or “101” wherever they possibly could. I received hell for three years thanks to those hosts of the chalice of innocents who play indoor hockey of shit who were supposedly the most cool in the school. After all this time, I would love to see where they ended up, those tabernacles without drawings there, still in St. Jérome on Social Benefits, surely.

I would like to rethank all those who suspended grievance from my square head (Dominic Fortin, Louis-Philippe Bougie, Gregoire Lafortune, Hugo Machicado, Alexandre Desjardins, Charles Boisonneaux, Francis Vachon, Joelle Gagnon...)

ERIK ANTHONY LAVOIE

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