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What do you do for a living? Oh, marketing? Oh, PR? Oh, you’re a lawyer? Comparing this guy’s soul with yours would look like one of those smoker / non-smoker lung shots from Canadian cigarette packs. Comments/Enlarge | See all



When you are an ice cream cone hanging out with a superhero called Blackman at your party, the onus is no longer on you to worry about how things are going. You did it. Pat yourself on the back.
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Girls use lower-back tattoos to encourage your subconscious to think about doggy. When guys have them it makes you think of prison. Throw in some cartoon characters for 11-year-olds and you’re basically taking a shit in my brain.
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FROM CUTE TO CREEPY

Laylah Ali Chops Off Her Green Head

When people look at Laylah Ali's art they inevitably think, "Look at the cute little green roundheaded guys doing all the funny stuff. It's like a comic book but grown up. Neat." Then they notice that the little guys are getting their hands chopped off, wearing menacing black hoods and bandages, and...
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BEATS AND RHYMES

The X-Ecutioners are one of the most important DJ collectives in rap history. They've got a new mix-CD out called Scratchology (Sequence), which is a wicked history lesson for anyone interested in the development of DJ/scratch music over the last couple decades. From pioneers like Flash and Theodore...
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ME SO HORNY

Me Want to Throw Up

For Su-en Wong, culture has always been one of those "'What are you rebelling against?' 'Whaddya got?'" kind of things. "I grew up with a very strict and structured social and education model in Singapore," she tells us, "and I tried whenever I could and however I could to rebel against it."...
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DEAR DIARY

Entry: April 1996, part 1

April 1996, part 1
Dear Diary,
I failed my road test for the motherfucking third time. I really can't believe it. The guy was such a dick and I feel so incredibly stupid. NO ONE fails three times! I can never do anything right. I'm so sad and mad. I only want to drive.
...
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HOLY SHIT!

The New Fucking Carnage Tape Has Finally Arrived

Unless you've had your head up your ass your whole fucking life, you know that Richard "Big Pinky" of TV Carnage Inc. is the motherfucker who watches five hundred hours of shitty TV and then edits it down to an hour and a half of pure fucking gold. Unbelievable shit like a man singing "Shalom" on Su...
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ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE

Co-opting culture vultures drop the term "underground" so often that it's become as meaningless as the UN. Nowadays, chances are if you pick up a release that claims to be "underground," it's probably going to be a collection of generic 4/4 beats. Well, two lads from the UK are tired of the standard...
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WHAT’S WITH ALL THE WEIRD DISEASES?

All I Did Was Eat Some Jungle-Rat Crackling

When I heard all about how SARS was a "zoonosis" virus that could be caused by eating unclean, disease-ridden exotic animals, I suddenly thought back to the news of Mad Cow, when experts had linked its most basic origins to an expensive Chinese restaurant in London that was serving illegal tiger mea...
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VICE FASHION - YOU ARE SO DEAD

Photos by Danielle Levitt...
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I CALL BULLSHIT...

On Tons of Stuff

This stewardess seems pretty and nice and everything, but why are we supposed to sit here and learn what to do when we go careening into the ocean? I already know what to do. Blow up into a thousand pieces and drown. Got it. Do you actually think I believe that we're going to ditch (that's what pilo...
-4484

I WANT MY DVDS

Fighting Mad: XXX, Blind Date: Uncensored, 50 Cent: The New Breed, American Misfits: Scandal, Skits, Debauchery and Skateboarding...
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OUR TEN FAVORITE PSYCHOPATHS

Life in the Mental-Health Unit Is Fun as Hell

You get to meet a lot of fucking psychopaths when working in the mental-health unit of an East Coast maximum-security prison. All of the inmates I worked with were post-trial (already sentenced). Some were permanently in the mental health unit because they were found Guilty but Mentally Ill (which i...
-4482

MY AMERICA

David Cross is on vacation in Salt Lake City, where he is preparing dinner for his many wives. He has asked fifteen-year-old Taylor DuPont, a freshman at Walton Prep Academy just outside of Port Chester, Connecticut, to fill in for him on this month's column. Taylor was told that he could write abou...
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MOMMA'S BOYS

The Rich and Well-Established Families Behind Today's Media

Late last month, just as the war in Iraq was kicking into overdrive, the New York Times ran a front-page analysis of what it said was the US military's overdetermined "working class" composition. The piece raised anxieties about the possible development of a "warrior caste"-a caste with worrisome co...
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VICE PICTURES

Photos by Kikuko Usuyama...
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MY FRIEND

Cat Power Can't Scream Like Emma Louise Niblett

Ok, first of all, Emma Louise "Scout" Niblett doesn't sound like Cat Power, so stop saying that. Comparisons abound, and they irritate Scout, whose voice is breathy and kind of the same pitch as CP. But the spontaneity and wonder in Scout's strumming, lullaby singing, screaming, and drum pounding co...
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TIDBITS

A monthly look at things we love - v10n4

A BIN LADEN DOLL
When we were in Japan last month we saw this fucking doll lying in a pile of junk on some guy's desk. After about 32 seizures and some jumping jacks we calmed down enough to insist that he give it to us. Unfortunately, we had already freaked him out and he thought he cou...
-4477

THE DAWNING OF A NEW ERA

Will American Techno Ever Be Good Again?

It may be considered the American way to "put a boot in your ass," as country singer Toby Keith would say, but we've been getting our ass kicked on the techno front for way too long. Sure, Detroit and Chicago made their marks. But that was what? Fifteen years ago? After those cities left the spotlig...
-4476

THE ERA HAS ARRIVED

American Computer Music Saves the Day

Every two years or so, everyone gets sick of generic music bullshit and gets down to destroying it again. It's easier to do this now than ever before, what with cheap equipment, access to unlimited materials via the internet and, most importantly, a new wave of rampant boredom. We now have a loose g...
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IN DA CLUB

Peedi Crakk Gets His Gat Past the Black

Back in the day, you couldn't be a Latino MC without wearing Nike Cortez, baggy white jeans, and a plaid shirt. Thankfully, Big Pun broadened everyone's horizons by urging MTV audiences to chant, "Boriqua! Morena!" But is there really a middle ground between the Terror Squad and Kid Frost? Couldn't ...
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THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

So Shut The Fuck Up

Do you remember when you were at school and instead of doing something normal and shitty like not doing your homework or smoking or fighting you actually did something good for a change? Like helping a smaller kid with a heavy package, or passing a difficult test by working hard?...
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GAMES

Bloodrayne

BLOODRAYNE
Publisher: Terminal Reality
Developer: Majesco
Platform PC
Genre: Vampires/Shooting
Rating: Adult...
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THE VICE GUIDE TO BANGLA METAL

Five Things About Four Bands

By focusing on the poverty associated with Bangladesh, seldom do we pause to consider and appreciate the rich cultural heritage of Bengal.

To the outsider it may look like a smelly bolthole of a cesspit, but actually the region has been a melting pot of diverse cultures, with generations of...
-4471

MAXIMUM HOMO-CAUST

Zeigenbock Kopf Go Crazy For Cock

Hands up who's stumbled into a gay club by accident and ended up having one of the best nights ever? Admit it-we've all been there. I fondly remember my first time, spending a balmy Sunday afternoon in July down by the rail tracks at Ost Gut, the dingy bunker beneath the famous Panorama Bar in Berli...
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PARADISO HANDJOBS

Italian Disco Make-A You Wet

I couldn't believe how much fun summer '84 in Italy's Rimini was-Britain was a miserable grey dump and, before acid house, the NME hadn't given heteros permission to go clubbing or listen to dance music yet. Warm sunshine and Adriatic sea-breeze to caress your features, glasses of chilled Chianti, i...
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DUSTED

Joe Budden Bugs The Fuck Out

Nearly everybody under the age of 25 in America smokes it at Christmas, but hardly a single British person has ever tried the unpredictable delights of angel dust.

This amazingly dangerous drug (AKA PCP or "Dip") was first cooked up by some US scientists in 1926 and then used as an anaesthe...
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AND BAKED

Ghetto Priest Flips The Fuck Out

Everybody knows that potheads are paranoid, but recently a group of Swedish scientists proved that regular consumption of cannabis can increase your risk of developing schizophrenia by 30 percent....
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DRUG BUDDIES

How The Hells Got High

I first met my friend Philly Kev when he was living above a rock bar in Soho, London. We had mutual friends and a mutual interest in being scumbags so we used to hang out in his room and smoke opium that we got from Mo, an Iranian guy Philly (he's from Philadelphia, USA) used to work with....
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SHATTERED DREAMS

Madonna Ruined Our Band

Hey what happened? One minute Zoot Woman are primed to take over the world with their sharp tunes and fancy suits, the next they've vanished off the face of the planet.

Blame fucking Madonna. Two years ago, just as they released their amazing debut album Living In A Magazine, she offered ma...
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NEW HORIZONS

And Underwater Love

It's funny how just when you think you've run out of new fantasies, when there can't possibly be any form of sexual deviance you haven't thought of, you see a porno like Bongwater Butt Babes, (www.blackmirror.com) where women smoke marijuana out of a bong stuffed into their asshole, and you're like,...












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