FREE HOROWITZWinona Ryder Can Eat My Hairy Ass
Drawing by Brian Degraw
When I first submitted this article, the editors sent it back saying, “Didn’t you get into Judaism, like, an hour ago?” To which I responded, “Hmmm. Let me think about that.”
How am I a Jew? Not Hebrew school. Not by practice or ritual or even how I was raised. What made me a Jew was that no one else in my hometown in New Hampshire was a Jew. It’s like how you can talk about what a bitch your mom is all day long, but as soon as someone else says, “Yeah, your mom’s a fucking cunt,” THAT’S when you are your mother’s daughter.
What made me a Jew was being the only one with black, hairy legs and arms, being called “Ape,” and having pennies and nickels thrown at my feet as I walked down the aisle of the bus just because Jews love money. The latter wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I ended up going (pity) steady with Matt Italia, plus, I made 52 cents!
So, Paki VICE faggots, that’s why I can write articles like this!
Winona Ryder is a dirty fucking Jew, and it is such a Jew move to trick everyone, to change her Jew-y last name (Horowitz, by the way) and fool all of Hollywood and America into thinking she isn’t one. Scorsese fell for it and cast her as a romantic lead in The Age of Innocence, a role my entire family agrees would have been perfect for me. He must feel so dirty and used. He’s shaking his head as he reads the Horowitz thing saying, “I don’t understand. She seemed so pretty...”
I brought it up at brunch the other day. It was me, a couple of suit-friendly writers, and an NBC executive, all us eating omelettes, all of us Jewish. All of a sudden, the executive guy goes, “Winona Ryder is the only good-looking Jewish actress in Hollywood.” I was so shocked my jaw dropped and half an asparagus fell out of it. Then I looked up and noticed nobody else gave a shit, which shocked me again and made me hold it open even longer until the other half fell out.
Now, as I write this, I have to admit, I’m blowing my own mind. My whole everything has been built on, “It’s just words, and what do words mean, and blah blah blah,” and I hate that, and I hate how, when I’m doing stand-up, the Jews and blacks laugh the hardest at the racial shit until I talk about them, at which point they get asparagus jaw. But now look at me. I’m a hypocrite. Who am I to think this scumbag NBC executive was a schmuck? Oh yeah, I know who––a person who was having lunch with a fucking NBC schmuck.
Most say you can’t say “nigger” unless you’re black. If you’re not, you have to say “nigga,” but I think that’s gay (oops, I can’t say that). How about you can’t say “nigger” or any bad Jew stuff if you’re a total fucking douchebag? Who defines which people are douchebags? ME!!!
Last week I got my picture taken for a magazine, and the editor was there and he said, “Guys are totally gonna jerk off to this.” I loved it, of course, but I knew that that’s not necessarily true. I told him, “I’m only hot for a Jew.” He asked me, “What does that mean? Hot for a Jew?” I explained to him that it’s a self-hatred thing only indirectly comparable to the modesty-out-of-fear of a Pearl Buck character. It’s pretty simple, actually: You’re allowed to say Jews are ugly if it’s how you get compliments. You’re not allowed to say it if you’re a douchebag wearing a suit.
SARAH SILVERMAN
SEE ALL ARTICLES BY THIS CONTRIBUTORCOMMENTS
Subject: Alex
Date: Apr 06 2007 05:24:19 AM
Author: Alex
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Subject: Winona, Sarah and other hot twats
Date: Feb 04 2007 07:53:26 PM
Author: Adrien
Hot chicks, thick lips, lots o' cash and a hairy ass...I don't care if they're fuckin' South Pole Eskimos, hookers or my next door neighbour; I'd do either of them anytime, and have a fuckin' good laugh while I was at it. Winona a nympho? Not quite my dream girl - a slightly retarded seventeen year old nymphomaniac -, but damned close on both accounts. Sarah, let's have a look at that hairy ass you claim to have.
Subject: jew
Date: Dec 23 2006 09:44:54 PM
Author: dethomas
hey, Winona Horowitz she a hot jew ,theirs a jew somewhere out their for her,
Its not bad being a jew, I was a morman for about a day,the mormans said that I was a cheap JEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because, I Would'nt give them 15% of my check
So the mormans let me go, well I did tell them the only reason I was their was for the young vergin morman girls!!!!!!!So then I became a jew, money in my bank ,because when people ask for money ?I tell them Iam a happy jew,, and they understand because (((JEW GOT MONEY$$$$$$$$$$$)
Subject: Response
Date: May 25 2006 08:41:33 AM
Author: Keith
Dear Ms. Silverman,
I very much enjoyed your article and here is my response. Also, I do have suggestions.
I would like to ass-fuck you while you are fisting my hairy Jew piehole. Once I cum in your sphincster, buttplug it in until the Sabbath. Thank you.
Subject: jewlicious
Date: Feb 03 2006 01:35:54 AM
Author: tim carr
what the fuck is a "jew"?
my dad fucks me, jew?
Subject: Silverman is Queen!
Date: Jan 28 2006 01:39:24 AM
Author: Jakub, Poland
Being Polish i`m proud of her. She`s smart,
she isn`t nice and she has all the luck... Goddamn,
she is Miracle!!!! And she is funny...Period.
Janet Reno, live & learn!!!!
Subject: winona
Date: Jan 09 2006 06:04:52 PM
Author: primus
winona had a big brown beaver........
Subject: kill
Date: Jan 09 2006 05:55:34 PM
Author: kkk
kill the naggers and the jewish douche bags
Subject: i thought this article was pointless
Date: Nov 03 2005 09:16:14 PM
Author: cliff
...until i realized that the point was to relate some story about how a guy said she was hot. false modesty is fucking _tiresome_.
that said, her take on the "aristocrats" joke, performed in the film of the same name, was easily the best of the lot. she's batting .500 for me.
Subject: silvermanhole
Date: Oct 18 2005 12:08:39 AM
Author: 4skin4u
if you'll only stop whining, sarah, i'll ram my 9" uncut cock into your shagpile jew stinky onion ring until your wails can be heard all the way to fucking israel.
i just yahoo-image-searched you and you're no winona. natalie hershlag has a short ass crack, but i'd still drop an omelette on her shaved marshmallow.
and the rest of you: shut up about being a jew. it's not endearing and nobody cares except you.
(you never noticed how we all go quiet and then shoot knowing smiles disgust across the brunch table?????)
Subject: the times, -They are a changin'
Date: Sep 04 2005 03:13:30 PM
Author: popie
The more jewish you look the bigger the nose.The bigger the nose the worst you look.
Most jewish girls just have nose jobs and there goes their jewishness any way. It's going to change now with the more options people have to chose from like more tv channels,satalite and especially the internet. One group will have a harder and harder time controling it all.
Subject: win on
Date: May 10 2005 06:20:45 AM
Author: boompussy
what a stupid rant.
winona has expanded her consciousness much more
than you, just the fact that her godfather was timothy leary should show you whatz really happening.
please, don't shave.
and live to learn that we are all on a planet.
in space.
Subject: Jewmanji
Date: May 03 2004 09:15:32 PM
Author: Nose Girl
Sarah, may I eat your hairy ass?
Subject: Thank you
Date: Mar 24 2004 03:36:41 AM
Author: Earl
Great. The inanity of most of these posts has just driven me back to drugs -- 22 years, clean and sober, now I have a bottle of bourbon in one hand, a joint in the other, a needle sticking out of my eyeball and a frog's ass in my mouth. (I would do blow, but the CIA cut off the suppliers in my town.) All that to merely attempt to erase the knowledge that there are people this mind-bogglingly stupid in the world. Of course, the good news is, there's an election in a few months, so when you guys don't vote, some other crop of hybrid dumbasses will decide who's going to lead the rest of us. Joy.
Subject: jews and money
Date: Feb 20 2004 10:21:14 AM
Author: g
let's not for get that the principal author of communism was a jew and the both trotsky and lenin were jews.
so poo on all of you and your anti-semitic gripes. jews invented the blueprint forthe redistribution of wealth.
Subject: Spelling is SOOOO Today
Date: Feb 10 2004 10:12:21 AM
Author: Ad
If you are a bad speller THEN you are stupid.
Then: leads to something else.
Than: used in comparison.
Subject: raceis soooooo yesterday
Date: Feb 09 2004 06:30:39 PM
Author: deadspace
fuck what color you are...
if you are a nigger than you are a nigger...
if you are a jew than you are a jew...
if you are a wetback than you are a wetback...
if you are a slope than you are a slope...
i'm a fucking guinea... a greasy wop, deigo who loves pasta and olive oil... i'm over it...
you should get over it too,,,
besides... it's all pink on the inside...
Subject: Asses
Date: Feb 09 2004 04:55:16 AM
Author: Winona Ryder
Has Winona Ryder got a hairy ass?
Subject: sarah
Date: Jan 02 2004 09:30:17 PM
Author: AC
I love you. Where can I find Jew-Porn?
Subject: a delight
Date: Dec 23 2003 09:42:00 AM
Author: efrem
...These folks that have such bad views of jews dont know any..
Kind of makes you wonder why people have been desciminated against for hundreds and hundreds of years..we all need some one to hate.
Sarah on another note you are one of the funnyest intelligent women out there.
Dump that bum Kimmel
Subject: A sensual delight
Date: Dec 23 2003 09:25:21 AM
Author: efrem
Sarah, Ive heard your standup before, funny
This article , not funny.
What ive found interesting about peoples views on the jews ( Im currently working in Italy) is that their views are shaped by the media which reports on jews slaughtering the Palistinians (they are) that they control the
media (?) and that they generaly wan to control every one and keep them poor.
The odd thing is that these people i talk that express these thoughts
Subject: MUSE
Date: Dec 19 2003 06:46:39 PM
Author: Cunt Bradnox
hey sarah you're doing a great job as Kimmel's muse! keep up the good work. I hope those horrible pre-taped segments are from the influence of Jimmy's other muse, Adam Carolla
Subject: "Ajew"... "Bless you"... "Thanks"
Date: Dec 19 2003 11:47:24 AM
Author: Ronnie Lee
"Race" is so fucking yesterday.
Everyone needs to go out and put a baby in a girl that isnt whatever they are so our kids dont have to deal with all this "melatonin/We eat weird shit" pride.
Eat a dick Sarah, you chicken shit.
Philip Roth and that guy that's fucking his daughter did all of this thirty years ago.
Subject: sarah
Date: Dec 19 2003 10:56:07 AM
Author: brian
nevermind the essay, it's all ruined by the fact that she tosses the salad of that sad excuse for an "entertainer" that is jimmy kimmel.
Subject: fuck em
Date: Dec 19 2003 02:05:29 AM
Author: mongoloidist
retards are so fucking gay
Subject: my wynonna
Date: Dec 18 2003 05:50:46 PM
Author: Reeseillient
Sarah silverman is flakin and perpatratin but scared to kick reality. Wynonna is so precious that words cannot describe. Why is it that whenever semi famous people write articles in Vice, they suck my chode (ie silverman and David Cross ie david cross sucks period.) I can only pray that wynona reads this board and sees me coming to her defense and finds me and we can shoot liquid demarol together while i recite borroughs to her and she says "Johnny depp never read with such passion as you" and we will get married and have kids who celebrate moc christmass's with sliver trees because we dont want them to be embarassed that they were born jewish and have to tell their freind "look at this cool gift i got for chhhhh.....christmass.
Subject: mhmm
Date: Dec 18 2003 05:06:12 PM
Author: peter
i think vice should start making more fun of retards. i mean, according to this article, they're allowed to, right?
Subject: excuse me?
Date: Dec 16 2003 07:35:46 PM
Author: er
Sarah Silverman is Jewish?
Subject: zeig heil
Date: Dec 15 2003 11:49:00 PM
Author: Adamn!
I'd give this kyke the 7 3/4 incher. She's Hot, especially for a Jewish comedienne. Jimmy Kimmel, lucky bastid...
gay rant by the way.
Subject: lex da wigga
Date: Dec 15 2003 04:25:47 PM
Author: sarah silvernose
lex we know youre not black, you spelled everything correctly.
Subject: this retarded magazine
Date: Dec 15 2003 02:23:06 PM
Author: eagle
fuck all of you assholes. for closet fascist fashion victims, vice is king
Subject: fish
Date: Dec 15 2003 12:45:26 PM
Author: fish
www.gefiltefuck.com
Subject: chuj
Date: Dec 15 2003 12:31:46 PM
Author: slazak
kurwa mac, chuj ci w dupie, itd. zydzi sa w porzadku.
Subject: black meat
Date: Dec 15 2003 02:20:58 AM
Author: lex
I love the Jewish ladies. I break em off NY style all the time. And if any one drops the "bomb", I'll get Method man on yo ass.
Subject: houlacaust schmoulacaust
Date: Dec 14 2003 09:34:27 PM
Author: poo
aw jew, jew ,jew! shut the fuck up! go one fuckin day with out making a reference to being jewish! its only funny to other jews. and for your information, they make waxes to solve your furry butthole problem.
p.s. there was no houlacaust, there i said it
Subject: hairy ass sarah
Date: Dec 14 2003 04:40:16 PM
Author: ...
Nevermind being hot for a jew, she is hot for a comedian. But come on get off her hairy dick she's not even that hot.
Subject: dirk and friends
Date: Dec 14 2003 01:57:34 AM
Author: yes
access hollywood isn't on right now, so i came back to tell you two whiny cunts to suck my balls
Subject: Whiny Jews
Date: Dec 13 2003 02:03:09 PM
Author: Polski
I'm sick and tired of hearing Jews complain how discriminated and persecuted they are/have been. Every time you try and criticise the unlawful and apartheid-like practices of the Israeli govt. you are quickly branded an anti-Semite (Palestinians are a Semitic people too) and reminded of their mass murder at the hands of the Nazi regime. Being Polish, I've always resented that because no remembers that JUST AS MANY Poles and other Slawic people died at the hands of the Nazis as Jews...yet since we're just forgetful Goyim trash, and we don't have a stranglehold over the people's television and radio airwaves that no cares to remember. In 1987 various Jewish lobbies lobbied successfully to keep any other peoples names of the Holocaust memorial in Washington, it wasnt until the Clinton admnistration that Gypsies were officially recognized next to the Jews, however Poles, Ukrainians, and other groups have yet to been recognized. I feel we deserve the same recognition.
Subject: sheyneh meydel
Date: Dec 12 2003 09:46:26 PM
Author: Funky Badass Jew
Which magazine should I be jerking off to Sarah Silverman in? It's a shame there's no openly Jewish pornstar girls. Some Jewish girls can be sexy, but I'd never date one. The world needs less people like me, not more. I'm going to miscegenate all I cans.
Subject: observation
Date: Dec 12 2003 04:50:24 PM
Author: nobody
Winona Ryder looks like Natalie Portman or vice versa, imho.
Is Sandra Bullock jewish?
Subject: subject
Date: Dec 12 2003 12:28:04 PM
Author: name
posts that are not on topic will be removed?
Subject: Alanis
Date: Dec 12 2003 04:42:25 AM
Author: Whot
This sounds horrible but there are few good looking Hasids. Maybe the dudes have some style but Im always looking for that burning hot girl in an ugly dress and a wig but I never see her. Is that because they dont breed widely cause jewish girls give me the hardest possible dick otherwise. Cassie Weiner, I dont care if youre a hippie, I wanna do it.
Subject: oh, uh...
Date: Dec 11 2003 08:54:55 PM
Author: magurk
did anybody see the Lakers game?
Subject: NATALIE PORTMAN
Date: Dec 11 2003 04:15:39 PM
Author: leap
too bad her real name is HERSHLAG.
how gross.
Subject: Sad
Date: Dec 11 2003 12:35:29 PM
Author: Huecifer
this article made me sad more than anything. Mostly because:
1: I used to think Sarah Silverman was cool
2: I used to think Vice had more sense than to print unfunny, boring, witless, and frankly thoughtless articles.
Sarah Silver(back)man, go back to doing voice overs for cartoons.
Vice, I'm only two articles in and already this issue is one of the worst I've ever read (the David Cross article was less than stellar).
God I hope the Do's and Don't are good.
Subject: the big crapple
Date: Dec 11 2003 11:53:06 AM
Author: ambrose bierce
enough of this goddamn jew talk. that's all vice has become, a bunch of rich brooklyn jew brats thinking they can crack on anyone because they crack on themselves. it was funny, but now it just sounds fucking lame and whiney. brooklyn and all of NY fucking blow these days because of all that stupid bullshit.
Subject: no fuckin way
Date: Dec 11 2003 12:11:17 PM
Author: dirk
i don't give a shit if natalie portman or winona are jews. they're just fucking hot chicks. besides the author admits to having a hairy ass, so why should we listen to her about anything? when's the last time you jerked over some big hairy ass (not you fag)?
Subject: i've jerked off to sarah silverman
Date: Dec 11 2003 10:55:53 AM
Author: friends, etc.
go back to access hollywood, bitch.
Subject: this thread
Date: Dec 10 2003 05:55:48 PM
Author: yes
What about Natalie Portman? She's a Jew, as well as a hot tamale! Granted that Eliza Dushku may be prettier, but Portman seems more intelligent, which makes her even more attractive.
Subject: I see
Date: Dec 10 2003 04:34:30 PM
Author: former reader
I posted a crack about swastikas and they axed it...vice knows which side their bread is buttered on
Subject: it was a joke
Date: Dec 09 2003 10:36:58 PM
Author: .
what? i was making a fucking joke about no pretty jews. you can't take a joke? you are so gay and p.c. like the chinks.
Subject: semetic dinge II
Date: Dec 09 2003 07:00:25 PM
Author: chocolate fur
drag! my first post and the cyber scrooge trashed my closer... sarah. call me and i'll tell you how it ends.
-p-
Subject: Hot jewish girl
Date: Dec 09 2003 02:39:10 PM
Author: Non-jew boy
It's somewhat funny, I was reading the sentence "Winona Ryder is the only good-looking Jewish actress in Hollywood" and I thought, but what about Sarah Silverman?! She's one of the most unbelievably hot women I've ever seen! ...and it turns out that it was her writing the article! That it was her who was dissed so badly, and to her face no less.
If I were that NBC exec I would have been staring deeply into Sarah's eyes, laughing at her jokes, while lightly touching her knee.
Subject: youaredumb
Date: Dec 09 2003 12:08:30 PM
Author: eyehateyou
HHIC (head heeb in charge) says:
Where the fuck does sarah silverman come from? ooh yeah, it must be from that factory that exists inside the minds of jewish boys, where their ideal women is a cute jewish girl who knows her heritage, can laugh at it, take it seriously, and gets more raw about ass-eating, rim jobs and cum guzzling than you can ever dream of. that's where she comes from.
Subject: he's a amature stand up
Date: Dec 09 2003 12:03:14 PM
Author: andrew cha
i'm sure he was joking. there. that solves everything right, and you shouldn't have any hurt feelings cause that would be p.c. and that's gay.
Subject: the Kimmel Question
Date: Dec 08 2003 08:23:17 PM
Author: philo bedeau
Does Kimmel have to listen to this Hebrewcentric kvetching (I know, there's only 13 million of you and a billion mad arabs and 200 million racist crackers in the US and the eurotrash is acting up again, all the stereotypes) while he's picking coarse black corkscrew hairs off his cock? No wonder the pudgy fuck can't put a show together.
Subject: So many fucking idiots
Date: Dec 08 2003 05:12:26 PM
Author: Fuck you
You're the whiny fucking momos. Much more than her. Just enjoy it. Oh, I'm whining too. I realize that. By the way to the person who asked where she grew up, did you grow up in fucking PCville or Marin County. Take off your fucking blindfold. And about her connection to Vice and Vice's to hollywood; I'm sorry, is that a little bit too mainstream of a topic? Too popular? That shit makes me as sick as people who just enjoy things that everyone else likes. Eat my shit.
Subject: jew broads
Date: Dec 08 2003 05:13:37 PM
Author: kor_the_fiend
i've only slept with one jewish girl. very cute, but had a hairy butt, which was not a cool thing to discover after i flipped her over for some doggy.
Subject: i wish my boyfriends talk show didnt suk
Date: Dec 08 2003 03:44:24 PM
Author: sarah silverman-berg-stein
bitch bitch bitch, ew im jewish and people made fun of me bla bla bla hairy ass bla bla bla holocaust bla bla bla single guy was a good show bla bla bla elliot gould bla bla bla jimmy kimmels dick bla bla bla.
Subject: where have all the wasps gone
Date: Dec 08 2003 02:51:55 PM
Author: gruff
next you'll be telling me eminem isn't white
Subject: Hoo-ray
Date: Dec 08 2003 12:38:35 PM
Author: Adam Williams
4. Heeb magazine has done some great stuff. Especially because they know that girls with last names like Fishblatz, Herschberger, and first names like Ethel can be bedroom dynamos.
that's all, I just got bored with trying to write something here... Jews are great, nuff said. And they're almost always the most open hypocrites around.
Adam (once upon a time Wilensky) Williams
Subject: Hoo-ray
Date: Dec 08 2003 12:33:20 PM
Author: Adam Williams
1. real bagels with cream cheese and fucking lox. The best thing about Sunday morning. Bagels are about as homogeneous in the USA as apple pie or herpes simplex, but the real deal is plain, salt, onion, garlic, sesame or poppy seed, made by JEWS (hopefully Russian or East European ones) Your pesto bagel with oregano parmesan cranberry creamcheese is some Goy garbage. Jews and only jews can make great bagels. (except in NYC, Miami and LA)
2. Beefs with Christmas decorations. Everyone (including Jews) knows Christmas knocks Hannukah and its 38 spellings out of the box. But Jewish kids are taught to practice being offended by big silly plastic candles in people's front yards. A perfect introduction to what being Jewish-American is all about is the Eight Steps to Perfection of denial, anger, etc that all Jews have to struggle with over christmas decorations. You'll know you've got a great Jewish buddy when he/she comments on how pretty those twinkling electric icicles look.
3. Girls named Katy Weiss can never be trusted. They always go after class and get extra credit somehow that never involves anything sexually compromising.
4. Heeb magazine has done some great stuff. Especially because they know that girls with last names like Subject: Hoo-ray
Date: Dec 08 2003 12:07:33 PM
Author: Adam Williams
hey, I'd say this essay is a great introduction to "What are Young Jews About these days, anyway" or "Lesson for the Goyim 101" ... like a lot of higher education, reading between lines between those lines of the other lines is what you gotta do...
What all yall haterzzz might not realize is that there AREN'T jewish people everywhere so a lot of people miss out on some of the finer, most awesome points of Jewishness. Still, Traveling With Israelis is the best way to learn. Just fly out to Kathmandu and watch em all trying to decompress from their army time...
Born and raised in Massachusetts, here are some of the things that matter most to me about Jewish stuff and Jewish people (my friends as well as some of the obnoxious kids I went through school with, at whose bar and batmitzvahs I got an introduction to mass chaos and mob mentality, and drank tons of virgin strawberry dacquiris)
1. real bagels with cream cheese and fucking lox. The best thing about Sunday morning. Bagels are about as homogeneous in the USA as apple pie or herpes simplex, but the real deal is plain, salt, onion, garlic, sesame or poppy seed, made by JEWS (hopefully Russian or East European ones) Your pesto bagel with oregano parmesan cranberry creamcheSubject: blah
Date: Dec 08 2003 12:27:12 PM
Author: tehe
how about changing your last name for christ sakes!
Subject: ....
Date: Dec 08 2003 11:59:44 AM
Author: Matt
why are all vice readers turning into whiney pussies ? if you don't like the magazine stop reading it.
Subject: If it looks like an Ape...
Date: Dec 08 2003 11:32:46 AM
Author: Bored
What a bore - Vice's hollywood infection. Isn't this the woman who sucked up to Vice in the New York Times about how cutting the magazine is (was, now thanks to you).
Why don't you shuvell your identity politics shit on some mutual jack-off show like Jon Farve's Dinner with idiots. Shouting tired rants like "nigga" and "faggot" to be edgey is tired. Try being smart or witty as a new tact. Plus what kids throw money at other kids because there Jews? Where did you grow up in Idaho?
Subject: jew lovers
Date: Dec 08 2003 03:01:49 AM
Author: ahhh!
what magizine was it? I'm gonna spay a load all over it. Jews make me horny.
Subject: sarah has a sister
Date: Dec 08 2003 12:10:05 AM
Author: 2000mgdepakoate150mg.zoloft
you make my jew bi-polar feel like manly chritian jock itch.
stop bullshitting. don't even pretend to give a shit about racial attitudes and what's acceptable and all that. like you fucking care. You're the hot comedian who says naughty things. Your little sister is twice as hot as you are and half as funny.
Poor you, hanging out with execs.
Subject: sarah again
Date: Dec 07 2003 07:17:36 PM
Author: robby again
who is this rory scumbag i wasn't crushed out on you anymore but now i have competition(becuz kimmel isn't even a threat)it rekindled the sarah fire and when you say your jaw dropped didn't you mean to say your jew dropped........ha ha ha im lame and this whole issue of vice is piss poor.
Subject: hidden identities
Date: Dec 07 2003 04:53:47 PM
Author: i wuv vice
winona ryder is jewish ? jennifer aniston is greek ? exactly how many of the "all-american celeberities" are hiding thier diverse ethnic backgrounds with more-american sounding names ?
Subject: num num
Date: Dec 07 2003 04:33:43 PM
Author: ladyface
it takes a big jewbaby mouth to hold half an asparagus.
Subject: poor me... No!, poor me!
Date: Dec 07 2003 03:22:08 PM
Author: paranoia
All that politics/ethnic/drama kind of identity is BULSHIT! Aren't you sick of talking who is the most neglegted, victimized group of people? Grow up! People in this country are mastering the segregation game like nobody else! The roma people, the mayan people, the burundies...shit, they don't complain that much...it seems that once you have a stable life in america the next thing to do is to find an identity to start moaning! ...like white (nordic) poeople are only one identical group...all people have differences! and besides there are jews, blacks and whomever else wants to complain, every fucking where...no body is going to errase you!
Subject: Sarah Hotforajewman
Date: Dec 07 2003 09:15:59 AM
Author: Rory LEVY
hey babe, know what's rilly funny/weird? when someone doesn't know your jewish and they make an anti-sem joke and you LAUGH even though it's fucked but more than that 9 times outta 10 its TRUE,aw shit, and the God of Jewish Self-Hatred is smiling down at you, and well, ya just gotta chalk it up to piety, Sar. Just piety. L. Bruce got away with it cuz he later embraced that very thing and turned it AROUND on all the square WASP-y tight asses and we jews all had the last laugh, as usual. And yeah, i'd love to pour to coals to ya myself. MMMMmmmmm..slammin that hairy starfish. Jimmy cant swing that shit, man.....
Subject: er...
Date: Dec 07 2003 12:57:39 AM
Author: gruff shamaleo
Winona Ryder is a Jew?
Subject: i agree
Date: Dec 07 2003 12:40:09 AM
Author: prozac
She's always so fucking full of herself, but at least last moth it was funny. This is ridiculous...
Subject: yawn
Date: Dec 06 2003 11:41:02 PM
Author: .
lame rant
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