OK, OK, maybe you don’t want to deal with the creepy vibes of the Lost Week guide. Maybe you just want some places to hang out and strap on a buzz. Fine, we can do that too. Here are some “good” bars and nights.

Club Screwball @ The Parlour Club (7702 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood) Organized by Don Bolles, who was in the Germs if you care. It happens on Tuesday nights, the drinks are cheap, and there are usually attractive and horny people running around.

Little Joy Tavern (Sunset Blvd., Echo Park) Go on Sundays. The DJs are always good and there are super-cheap drinks. Your basic hipster-scene, solid-bar situation.

Golden Gopher (8th and Hill, Downtown) It’s hit or miss but they at least have a really good jukebox. Plus there’s a liquor store inside the bar so if it’s a good night, on your way out you can buy a bottle of vodka, a case of beer, a dominoes set, and some condoms.
 
Barney’s Beanery (the original, in West Hollywood) They used to have “No Faggots Allowed” written on their matchbooks (not kidding). The vibe is very collegiate, making this a great place to either get into a fight or fuck a moron. Or both.

El Carmen (8138 W. Third St.) They have 200 different types of tequilas and the place is entirely covered in Mexican wrestler memorabilia. There is a contingent of dorks in LA who love this Mexican wrestler bullshit. Actually, you know what? Fuck this place.

The bar at the top of The Standard Downtown (550 So. Flower St.) As ridiculously hip and trendy as the Standard Hotel is, it’s sort of worth one $15 drink to hang out for a few minutes looking at the buildings of downtown LA and pretending you are in Blade Runner.

Firecracker (1st, 3rd, and 5th Fridays of the month, The Grand Star 934 No. Broadway, Chinatown) This might be the best party in LA. It’s been going for five or six years. They play fucking every kind of music, everyone is down to dance and get crazy, the babe factor is completely off the f’ing chain, and you will actually forget you are in LA for a while.

The Bigfoot Lodge (3172 Los Feliz Blvd., Los Feliz) When you walk in this place you are greeted by an eight-foot-tall Smokey the Bear holding a sign that says “Welcome to Sasquatch National Park.” The whole bar resembles the inside of a log cabin, with fake fires burning and everything. The one thing I can’t get over here is that a pint of PBR costs the same as a pint Guinness. WTF?

The Fire House (Gower and Sunset) An illegal after-hours spot, where a Jamaican couple turn their home into a reggae club every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. You walk up to the place and it just looks like a gate with lots of trees. You can’t even see the house. Then this Rasta guy comes and opens the gate for you, and you fumble your way through the darkness, following the smell of “ganj,” until you stumble through a beaded door into the house, where they’re playing reggae music that is actually good. There’s a dance floor and another room where people hang out and smoke ridiculous amounts of pot.

Barcade (W. 2nd and Western, Koreatown) Tuesdays only. Basically, this is a speakeasy in somebody’s living room. They serve cheap drinks and feature a bunch of vintage video games like Spy Hunter and the original Punch Out. It’s super fucking fun, has really good DJs, and goes into the wee hours.