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There are some girls that are so perfect everything they do is in slow motion and when they ask you for a cigarette it’s like an angel farting in your ear.
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We’re going to let the piercings slide because he fought the urge to do something “creative” with his afro like dreads or cornrows. This is one of the rare instances where you get points for something you didn’t do. Then he gets an extra star next to his name for separating his dress shirt and his v-neck with the perfect tie. Shit, even the BLT is working for him. Comments/Enlarge | See all









Sloppy drunk chicks are a bummer when they’re poor but when they’re rich it gives off an FTW thing that kind of unites us all.
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ANIMAL AUTISM

Narumi Ogawa Cant Stop Playing With Dolls

"I was always obsessive-compulsive," says 29-year-old Narumi Ogawa from her crowded apartment in LA, "especially about animals."

Narumi grew up in Japan where, on her own accord, she would clean all the hallways in her school before opening bell and tend to the school rabbits after every cl...
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ASK THE FARM

VICE: What the fuck is that smell?
Markus and Jen: That's a rotting moose carcass.

That's disgusting.
...
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CRAZY OR RIGHTEOUS?

AZ, the Five Percent, and Evil White Men From Outer Space

Most of us got our Five Percenter education when Guru spit, "The Five Percent Nation takes other steps to get through to brothers on the corners with the reps / And in the prisons they give the brothers new visions of how we can gain wealth." Easily invoked in hip hop, but more difficult to explain ...
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ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE

ESG, Murcof, Akufen, OSCARR, BIS, Sub Club, Squarepusher, Funkstorung, Swayzak, Subculture, Test, Blood, Kinky Afro, Psy Phi, Bughouse, Disco Kings, and Electric Bogey...
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DEATH TO THE NERDS

The Nerds Must Die

Goddammit, nerds. What have you done? You've ruined everything. We tried to give you a hand. We reached out into the creek that runs through the high school and we pulled your drenched pants out of the water. We picked your glasses out of the garbage and handed them back to you. We even listened to ...
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VICE FASHION - THE IRAQ ISSUE

Photos by Tim Barber...
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FUCK MUSIC

Venetian Snares Mix Dance Music With Porn

I remember being 16 or 17, sitting in my high school physics class, and staring at incomprehensible formulas on the chalkboard, when suddenly I confronted one of those decisive milestones. It's not like I discovered some new law or theory or anything even remotely scientific. I didn't even get the r...
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VICE FASHION - THE NEW CONSERVATIVES

There is a new political consciousness developing in the West. They say conservatives are cowards and neo-conservatives are "conservatives that have been castrated by the liberals." They call themselves The New Conservatives. They define the West as English Canada, America, and Britain and they are ...
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HIJAB VS SHORT SHORTS

Are We Really Freer Than Them?

Lately I've started hearing the word feminism being bandied about in the most unlikely of places. The male American politicians waging war on Afghanistan were the most bizarre example. It seems that one of the excuses they came up with to start bombing an already decimated country was to free women ...
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GAMES

Classic Game: The History of Doom

Big jumps in game technology usually occur when a new generation of consoles or video cards comes out, but the current crop of video games is basically last generation's games with a slight graphic upgrade. Remember the difference between the SNES and the Playstation when it came out? There was a hu...
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NO SHIT

The Truth About Female Defecation

I have never gone to the bathroom. Sure, I have peed. I've tinkled like an adorable puppy, like a pretty ballerina. But never the other.

I'm just lucky that way. I have never been mad enough to take it out on the bowl. What did it do to ever deserve such punishment? Why would anyone give su...
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MY AMERICA

GOD, LESS AMERICA

Whether they're taped to the window of your local pepper spray boutique, stuck on the bumper of a P.T. Cruiser, or "bedazzled" onto the sweater of every substitute teacher from sea to murky sea, you can find them virtually everywhere: American flags. And what goes b...
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THE ANTI-GOTH

Quix*o*tic Make Gloom Lovely Again

Quix*o*tic's music kind of sounds like it's made by the spooky kids in the back of your high school art class, the ones who wore all black, hid behind their bangs, and were into bands with German names. As we should all know by now, these are also the kids who ended up being way cooler than anyone e...
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VICE PICTURES

Photos by William Ridgers

I was a skinhead in the late '60s and gave it up when I discovered it involved fighting and that fighting hurts. Then, in the mid- to late '70s, I hung out with them again as a photographer and it was a totally different scene.

These photos are from that era....
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THE BLACK GUERRILLA

Paris Is Still Sicker Than AIDS

While the whole of North America has wrapped itself in the stars and stripes over the last year in some fear-induced angry "U.S.A!" chanting haze, it seems even our once-critical-of-government hip hop nation has joined the (Republican) party. Even Ghostface, supposedly a Five Percenter, offered to g...
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QUEERIES

VICE: What's with the lisp?
Queer
: What do you mean?

You have no idea what I mean?
I guess I have a slight lisp. With enough discipline I can fight it....
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THE NOISE HAS ENDED

Black Dice's Tranquil New Life

The debut Black Dice full-length, Beaches and Canyons, is out this month, and it is a full-on psychedelic mindfuck of epic proportions. Which may surprise some, since Black Dice are still known for those aggro powerviolence 30-second bursts of pain they gave up months ago....
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TIDBITS

A monthly look at things we love - v9n7

1 BALL GAG
Nothing says "Women's Studies doesn't matter here" like a woman wearing a ball gag. Right after you're done you're like, "Oh my God, my baby, who did this to you!?" and you get it off as fast as possible but then the next night you're both like, "Where is that thing?"...
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THE VICE GUIDE TO SURVIVING JUNIOR HIGH

Adidas is cool. It's always cool, but make sure you know that it stands for "All Day I Dream About Sex." If you say "sports" it means you are a gay. It's even cooler if you know the backwards definition: "Sex All Day In Dad's Apartment."...
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YA HEARD?

E-40 Invented Every Rap Word You Ever Heard

The legendary E-40 Fonzarelli will go down in history for three reasons. First, he, along with Too $hort, is one of the first independent rap moguls, scoring a multi-million-dollar major label deal for his Sick-Wid-It imprint way before the No Limits and the Cash Moneys. Second, he's the originator ...
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YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE

Bush and Saddam Can't Hold It Any Longer

It seems World War III is about to go down. America has randomly chosen Iraq as the center of terrorism even though weapons inspectors and embargos left Iraq broke and powerless years ago. They claim the reason is that Iraq is capable of eventually having deadly arms, but they ignore the fact that e...










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