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All your bad secrets. Everything you’ve ever done that you want to forget. Every silent fart you ever had. It’s all in his hair. It’s all in his bread dread portable bed that he carries everywhere he goes. That and billions and billions of tiny bugs. Comments/Enlarge | See all


You were 99.9 percent of the way there and then... WAW WAMP WAAAMMMMP you sink the whole thing into the ocean with those fucking old-lady-in-Miami-Beach shoes. What is it with you people and your terrible footwear choices? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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DOS & DON'TS

Oh Lord in heaven above. The way those socks and shoes work together and the way her knee playfully peeks out of her skirt. I’m dicknotyzed.
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SKATE OR DESTROY

Violent Ramp Get Violent on Ramps




Aaron Dilloway (guitar, voice), John Olson (drums, intros), and Michael Troutman (bass) live together in Ann Arbor, skateboard every day, and play in a band aptly named Violent Ramp. Inspired by seminal skate-rock like JFA, the Faction, and Negative Approach, Aaron and John decided their other band (industrial dub trio Wolf Eyes) didn’t afford them enough opportunities to truly destroy. After hooking up with their roommate Michael, himself a young veteran of Michigan’s music scene, and eschewing their other projects’ art/noise leanings, Aaron and John started the band as a conduit for old-school, good- times violence.

Less than a year old, Violent Ramp has already developed a rabid following in their home state and a growing cult nationwide on word of mouth alone. Skaters, noise nerds, artists, and punks both young and old turn out for the party. The shows are pure chaos. At every performance to date they’ve set up skate obstacles in front of their equipment for the audience to thrash. This past New Years they destroyed the Elbow Room in Ypsilanti and were banned for life. P.A., mics, mic stands, monitors - everything was broken. According to John, “We were grabbing out the ceiling tiles and breaking them over people’s heads. Even had a fight in my room that night. Killer.”

VICE: So do you guys bring ramps to every show? What the fuck?

Aaron: Totally, we set up a launch ramp in front of the bass drum and people thrash. At one house show this kid jumped off the mantel behind John’s head, onto the ramp, right on the count-off. 1,2,3,4! He fell flat on his face, did it like four times.
Michael: If we and our friends can’t skate, no show.

Is this shit a joke?

John: Fuck no, this ain’t no joke. Last week I broke four boards. It’s changed my life, pulled me from the spiritual pits. Quit drinking because of it.
Aaron: It is totally not a joke.

Highs?

John: We all dig the Dexter Park hip. Hit the g-spot with a massive front or backside ollie and we are beyond stoked. And we all agree that Whitehouse is the ultimate get-in-the-zone jam. Totally focuses you. The best is a joint on the ride home.

Violent Ramp’s 3 favorite things to wax are…?

Michael: Definitely not the coping on any ramp. If you need wax to grind coping, your shit is weak. Violent Ramp’s motto is, “Don’t wax it.”

John: Other than a killer high ledge or piece of ass, waxing is for pussies.

RUSS
Violent Ramp’s debut 7” is out on Freedom From any day now.

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