IN THE MAGAZINE

TIDBITS

A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Special Issue

1 SAMBO’S
Most Quebecois don’t know this but Denny’s used to be called Sambo’s. Motherfucking Sambo’s. America went nuts when they figured it out and banned them all; all but one. That is why the person in the passenger seat screamed "holy SHIT!" when we almost drove by it in Santa Barbara, California. We went inside and bought this. Check it out, it’s in the same font and everything.

2 HITLER PEZ
This is actually anti-racist and anti-the patriarchy. Every time you go to get a candy the fascist imperial sexism has to twist its head back and you take it out the throat. If that’s not fucking shit up and smashing the system what is? Zieg Heil my ass!

3 THIS BOOK
Just so you know. This is NOT a joke. Gary Brander is the guy who did The Howling. He is also the guy who wrote this 20-page mini murder mystery about a guy in a squirrel costume that killed a guy. What was he thinking? What is that squirrel thinking?

4 LEGODEATH.COM
Instead of working, Brian Frisk, Paul Cloutier and Josh Phillipson spend all their time making dead sculptures for legodeath.com. We had a hard time deciding which one to show you for this because Jesus being stabbed by that Roman guy is pretty good but the editors here pointed out that making fun of Jesus is played. Go there now and pay special attention to the "occupational hazards" section.

5 SEX PISTOLS RUSSIAN TEA DOLL
We picked this up in Prague and it was a bargain at $10 but why does the Sid one say "no drugs"? And why does he have the face of Tony Danza? That would be a good name for a hardcore band eh? The Face of Tony Danza. That would be cool if someone read this and started a band and they became so huge that people in Prague started making Russian Tea Dolls of them and then we wrote about it here—again!

6 SILVER COKE STRAW
The girl who brought this in was kind of bummed about it because she just got back from Betty Ford. She was kind of sighing when she pulled it out of the box like a burn victim handing you his little black book. She was all, "I won’t be needing this anymore."

7 BANANA SNAPPLE
Have you fucking tried this?! It is too much. After the first chug you’re like, "I could drink a THOUSAND of these" and then bang, it’s gone. And then the guy who is supposed to be doing the photographs for the Tidbits looks at you and is like, "dude."

8 WHISKEY FLAVORED CONDOMS
We got these in Glasgow and have no idea if they’re kidding or not. On the one hand it says ?do not use while driving? which must be a joke but then, it was in a public bathroom and it is a normal functioning condom with all the normal condom stuff about it.
Those people are fucking insane.

9 CUNNILINGUS BELT BUCKLES
True eating a girl out isn’t really cheating but make sure you wash your forehead afterwards. Remember in The Unbearable Lightness of Being where Daniel Day-Lewis gets busted by Juliette Binoche because she smells pussy on his forehead? You have to wash your whole face.

Comments

Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote: Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on
Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote: golliwog candies! if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need.
Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote: sit on my face
Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote: Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;)
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote: Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry.
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote: Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts.
	crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote: i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah.
Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote: aw i love this
Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote: i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling.
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote: nacism?
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote: Don’t you know SHIT is the shit?
Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote: POT "Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!! smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow
Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote: bag hutch
Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote: sink ma teef innit
	Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote: The eyedrops are not american
Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote: That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief.
Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote: GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote: Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote: I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years.
Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote: BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!