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America needs to take a cue from Japan and get some more theme bars going. Imagine a hospital one where Nurse Beer here brings you a round every 30 minutes or so, holding it up like it’s the cure for all your ills (which it is). Comments/Enlarge | See all



Hey lesbians, why you gotta hate? We’re not all bad. Some of us are perfectly able to stop talking to our friends for a minute and go help a woman remain decent when she goes. I was there BTW and the guy didn’t even look at her during the main part. He did threaten to kick my ass after this picture was taken however but that’s good too. Comments/Enlarge | See all







DEAR DIARY
Entry: September 1997
MY HAIR HEROINE
By Cronos From Venom
DEATH TO THE NERDS
The Nerds Must Die
DEAR DIARY
Entry: December, 1991






REIGN IN HELL
Hate Eternal Won't Serve in Heaven
UYA UYA A BUYA
The Ups and Downs of My Son Bobby
BY DESIGN
Friends, I'm about to reveal something th...
DISABLING OPINIONS
From South Park to Howard Stern



BUSTA NUT
BOOM BAP RAP
Prince Whipper Whip Reminisces
COOGI RAP
Queens' Thugged-Out Rap Veteran Expands O...
PRETTY ASS, HIGH CLASS
What That Ludacris Nigga Know About The D...
I AIN'T A RAPPER I JUST THUG-A-L...
Beanie Sigel, Teddy Pendergrass and Death...

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The kids today are full of shit—literally. They eat three-kilogram bags of processed food (no this bag of chips is NOT Photoshopped) and it sits in their disgusting Pepsi intestines until they wet fart it into their pants during a 12-hour video game. Oh yeah, and they can’t stop beating off. Jesus fucking Christ could kids be more disgusting please? Comments/Enlarge | See all




PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE

50 Cent Takes on 30 Rappers




We at Vice are taking full credit for 50 Cent getting signed to Eminem’s Shady Records. In ’99, the song ?How To Rob An Industry Nigga? came out, with 50 Cent namedropping over 30 rappers with shit like, ?I rob Pun without a gun, snatch his piece and run/This nigga weigh 400 pounds, how’s he gonna catch me son?? None of the lambasted rappers thought it was funny, and 50 quickly became the most hated MC in the game, lost his record deal, and got shot nine times. Last year, seemingly out of the blue, he started putting out mixtapes of his own amazing freestyles. Then he bootlegged his shelved LP. VICE reviewed the record and gave it love. We’re betting that Eminem read our review (because you know he sweats Vice), heard the surprisingly dope album, and signed 50 on the spot.

VICE: You got into some trouble after "How To Rob." Didn’t you get stabbed by Ja Rule?

50 Cent: He and I had our first altercation in Atlanta. He said more than what you can say to another man, so I punched him in the eye. The next time we crossed paths, I ended up with three stitches, but it was nothing. The shit stopped bleeding on its own. I’ve gotten worse scars from my baby moms. The whole thing with Ja Rule is just media hype. You know how that goes. Like that night Jam Master Jay passed and I had to cancel my show. I don’t know nothing about nothing and all of a sudden they tell me somebody’s trying to kill me. Word? Tell me something I don’t know, nigga.

Sean’s opinion:
I like, I love rap music. Yeah I do.
I like the um, disco music. I like the music on this.
(After paying attention to the lyrics, Sean refused to listen to 50 Cent again. He didn’t like the vulgar language.)
Any tips on how to rob rappers?

Well, first you got to look good. Half the time, security be off point, and if you look good, they’ll overlook you. Plus, rappers keep buying new jewelry, so you can get them again and again. In the hood, somebody’s always going to try you. In LA, it’s gangs. Here in New York, it’s a drug dealer structure. Individuals get money from each other, and with enough finances you can make anything happen. Certain artists hire people to rob other rappers. The bottom line about robbery is this: be prepared to pop niggas if it don’t go right.

BUSTA NUT
50 Cent’s album, Get Rich or Die Trying, is out in February on Shady Records/Aftermath.


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