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“Hey, Grandpa Leduc, what did you do in the early 2000s?” “Well, Jean-Marc, me and my friends drove to America and followed around some band that was named after cum.”
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Right now the big thing for girls in Brooklyn is this Florence Grungingale look where you stay up for three days and help people figure out whether or not they’re color blind. Comments/Enlarge | See all







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Man, when the invisible hand of capitalism isn’t there to slap you around, things can slide pretty fucking far. Do you even wipe anymore?
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GAMES

Unreal Tournament 2003, Shinobi


UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2003
Publisher: Atari Games
Developer: Digital Extremes
Platform: PC
Genre: First-person shooterRating: M (Mature)


Back at the end of ‘99 two games reigned supreme as top contenders in the online first-person shooter genre: Quake 3 and Unreal Tournament. Both games featured arena-style death matches, as well many team-based games like Capture the Flag and Team Deathmatch. Heated debates ensued over which one was the best. I always preferred Quake 3 over UT, as Q3 arguably had better graphics, better sound, and better level design. UT somehow seemed too extreme-sporty, while Q3 had a grittier overall aesthetic. That’s all about to change with the release of UT 2003. The new graphics engine is insane, with some great art direction to match. Many maps in the game have an organic, forest-like theme, which often gets overlooked in a genre dominated by high-tech hallways and space dungeons. The level design is incredible, with all sorts of curved surfaces and reflective water effects that really set the atmosphere. You can play a single-player game against computer-controlled bots, but the real heart of this game is in its online play. It seems like the developers are trying to define the game as more of an online sport, complete with player rankings from all over the world competing for top titles. That’s a great feature, as it gives you a real sense of competition with other players. Also, anyone with a lot of spare time and good reflexes can now be a famous video game champ. UT 2003 has all the classic modes of play like Deathmatch and Capture the Flag, as well as new ones like Bombing Run, best described as football with guns. UT 2003 is a blast to play, looks great, and is easily the best game in its class.

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SHINOBI
Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sega
Platform: PS2
Genre: ActionRating: M (Mature)


It seems like everyone is jumping on the classic game revival bandwagon. Many classics have made impressive jumps from 2D to 3D, but who really needs a 3D version of Frogger? Shinobi, on the other hand was practically begging to be re-envisioned as a 3D game. Revenge of Shinobi was a Sega Genesis classic, and taking people out with throwing stars never gets old. The new Shinobi for Playstation 2 is a lot of fun to play. You can run around on walls and bounce around between buildings like they do in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, simultaneously mowing down tons of enemies. A new move, called the stealth dash, allows you to zip around at high speeds, so you can sneak up on your opponents. Stealth however, is not a major factor in this game, as you usually approach each mission with a kill ‘em all strategy.

There’s a lot of action in this game, and it’s very reminiscent of the classic 2D Shinobi, as there’s an almost endless stream of enemies thrown at you. The graphics are easy on the eyes, but not spectacular. That’s OK though, because you’re generally too busy taking names to really soak in the scenery, which can at times be visually dull. The cut scenes, on the other hand, look amazing, and you have the option to watch them in English or Japanese for extra realism. The only problem with Shinobi is its crazy level of difficulty. The first couple of levels are pretty straightforward, but once the game gets going it can get a little frustrating. It seems like it was designed with the seasoned player in mind. In a market crowded with games that you can finish in a weekend, it’s nice to see a little bit of challenge. Fans of the previous installments will likely dig this game, along with anyone who appreciates a good, old-fashioned, button-mashing ninja kill-fest.

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