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They’re fighting for a world where annoying first year at college know-it-alls can wear popsicle boxes as hats without me wanting to beat them to death even though they’re a girl. Comments/Enlarge | See all


"Look dude, I just want to say I'm sorry about dropping that anvil on you in front of Lisa. We cool?" Comments/Enlarge | See all






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DEAR DIARY

Entry: January 1995

Lesley Arfin just before the drugs took over.



January 1995
Dear Diary,

Last night was Maskarave. It started out really good because the music was so phat and me and Jolene got microdots. I saw Marlene and was happy. We talked about good things like boys and poetry and I just miss and love her a lot. Then I did some K and about 2 hours later I was puking San Loco taco salad. I was SO sick, it ruined my night. I loved the Dots and I love the music but raves are so cheesy and lame and everyone thinks they’re soooo cool and everyone pretty much sucks. Whatever, I’m glad I’m home in my bed now. Should I puke?


November 2002
Dear Diary,

Interesting follow-up: Jolene and Marlene were total B.F.F. for many years. They were two hardcore girls in dark denim overalls that danced to seminal Long Island hardcore bands every weekend. Then Jolene’s scary Italian dad yelled at Marlene for bringing food into her house and not sharing. Then they were in a fight, during which they both discovered drugs, Jolene’s drug of choice being heroin, Marlene’s being the Church of Jehovah. The first time I ever did dope was with Jolene, except now no one knows where she is. She has a baby. He is half black and very small. Marlene got married JW style and is drug-free and loving God. Me, I just got out of rehab. We are all under 25 years of age. It’s funny how things change. 1995 wasn’t that long ago and I used the word “phat.” Ugh.

LESLEY ARFIN

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