NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

You wouldn't believe the kind of crazy shit we've been getting into every night since we became friends with Robbie. We're just worried someone's going to hit him in the head again and set everything back to normal. Comments/Enlarge | See all


What does a guy keep in a bag like that? A box of cunts? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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LITERARY
Book Reviews - The Violence Issue
HELL IS FOR SISTERS
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TIDBITS

A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Violence Issue




VICE just opened a new store in New York. The address is 255 Lafayette (across from X-Large and down from Supreme) and it’s got way more stuff in it than the other stores. Here are nine Tidbits we randomly grabbed from the shelves next to the cash.

1 ROSE PANTIES
Our friend Rose made these glow in the dark panties that say, are you ready?, “I don’t have AIDS … yet!” Can you fucking believe that. Please write us a letter after you try them out. We have to know what happens.

2 PINK LACE DRIVING GLOVES
Lace gloves are a bit too soft and driving gloves are a bit too hard but these are fucking perfect. Wear them to a $500 dinner and then keep them on when you go to kick the shit out of Marcia Sterner at the Cherry Tavern.

3 McDONALD”S COKE SPOON
Remember those coffee stirrers McDonald’s used to make? Those were perfect for bumps of coke. Whatever happened to those? Did McDonald’s figure it out and stop making them. That would be cool if someone made them again; out of silver and gold would be hot. WHAT THE … HELLO!

4 IWAO
The best manga comic a Tokyo street kid named Santa Inoue ever made is called Tokyo Tribe 2. The best dude in TT2 is black samurai named Iwao that looks exactly like Ice Cube. Inoue loves hip hop and Japanese war history and the resulting toys are fucked up.

5 DR. NO
It’s ironic that one of our more affordable dolls is also one of Bond’s more formidable villains. No it’s not.

6 KANKICHI RYOTSU
You know who this is? It is Ryotsu’s rarest figure. The infamous laughing police officer. Good luck getting it home though. As soon as you lift it off the shelf this huge boulder starts rolling at you from the other end of the store and all these nazis start screaming because ghosts are going through their chests.

7 GENERAL URSUS
Remember this cocksucker? Talk about a “damn dirty ape.” In a way you’re on his side because it’s true, humans are pure evil and they will lead to the end of ape civilization but fuck – you don’t have to be a dick about it.

8 THREE ZERO
When everyone is tripping over themselves trying to make dolls with the most thugged-out faces possible Jason Su comes along and makes a guy with a ghetto blaster for a head. He’s got DC shoes and a backpack and some other stuff but his fucking head is a ghetto blaster.

9 OTOMARI SET
Sporty kid’s underwear that fastens to knee-high tube socks makes boys so horny they feel a bit sick. The Otomari (Japanese for overnight) set is a bra and panties and garters and it comes in a bunch of different patterns. There’s Howdy Doody (pictured here), Batman /Superman /Flash, Matchbox Cars and Holly Hobby and each one comes in this handy carrying case that you can use for your make-up after.

To win your free subscription to VICE send tidbits to: VICE Magazine, 75 North Fourth Street, 3rd floor brooklyn, new york, 11211, usa


< PREV

COMMENTS

Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on
Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need.
Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face
Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;)
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry.
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts.
crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah.
Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this
Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling.
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism?
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit?
Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!

smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow
Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch
Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american
Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief.
Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years.
Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!

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