On Dec 24th, at New York’s Union Square Cinema, a riot broke out. Two hundred people had paid via credit card to see The Royal Tenenbaums, but the computers were down. The underpaid, low- IQ employees had decided to follow company policy and verify each of the 200 credit cards individually by phone, but New Yorkers weren’t havin’ it. After sitting in line so long the movie was about to start, VICE photographer Terry Richardson turned to the crowd and said, “Fuck this. We paid our $25 and we are going to see this movie right now! Are you with me?!” There were some “Yeah!”s and some “Let’s go!”s and within seconds they were running past the ticket booths, up the escalators, and into the theater. Despite the cheering and yelling everyone found their seats easily enough and sat down. Soon after, seven security guards moved into formation like riot police. They stood at the front of the theater and told the crowd that they had to see everyone’s ticket before the movie could start.
“Fuck that!” yelled a tiny Jewish woman with mousy blonde hair, who stood up and pointed at the men. “We paid our money and we are going to watch this fucking movie. Call the cops if you want but we are watching this movie.” The crowd roared. Then another person stood up and said, “Look, three months ago the World Trade Center collapsed and we’re New Yorkers and we’re trying to keep it together and we just want to watch a movie so get out of the way and start the movie – NOW!” Another huge round of applause. Then an overweight Asian guy took off his T-shirt, squeezed his gut and yelled, “You want a piece of this!? I’m a fat motherfucker! Raaaah! I loved Bottle Rocket. I loved Rushmore and I want to see The Royal Tenenbaums and if you want to try and stop it you are going to have to call the cops. I’M FAAAAT!”
The crowd stood on their seats and yelled. The cheering turned into a chant and soon “Start the fucking movie, start the fucking movie, start the fucking movie!” made the security guards bow their heads and start the fucking movie. It was beautiful.
PETE HURD
