Published February, 2002
 AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
Louie Austen's Geriatric Techno
Most of us will be unable to control our bowels by the time we get senior-citizen discount cards, let alone make spectacular comebacks and be launched into the international dance music underground...Read more |
  BEATS AND RHYMES
Big news for 2002, the diggy diggy doctor -- yes, the one and only -- D.O.C. is back in effect with a brand new album Deuce. Check out silverbackrecords.com for info. Buy that shit, dude is a legend.
Anyone out there have a copy of King Tee's "Ruff...Read more |
 ATTAQUE BIG MAC
Five Years of Harassing the Arch Enemy
Just like the video game State Of Emegency, there comes a time when the people reach their breaking point and are forced to break stuff. Like fast food restaurants, for instance. Ever since it replaced "Speedee" as the company tag in 1962, the McDonald'...Read more |
 VICE COMICS
By Kaz, Fiona Smyth, James Kochalka, Dave and Gavin
BABUSHKA, FAZOOZA, MAGIC BOY, PIP AND NORTON...Read more |
 CORPORATE ROCK
The Destruction of the Desaparecidos
Popular music as social criticism has a long history of sucking shit. Whether it's the empty sloganeering of a group like Rage Against the Machine or the always pukey drama of "socially conscious hip hop," entertainers just don't know how to smash the state wh...Read more |
 GOD BLESS CORPORATE AMERICA
They Rule
14-year-old squeegee punks have been trying to tell us for years, but now everybody knows: corporations hate us. The collapse of energy trading giant Enron is a watershed in the history of corporate America because it woke up the whole world. The essential str...Read more |
 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Retards are on some next level shit. Ever since Wesley Willis’ ‘Whupped Batman’s Ass’ in ‘95 and sonic renegade Mike Patton dropped the Kids Of Whidney High’s album Let’s Get Busy on his Ipecac imprint coupla years back, North America seems to be all ov...Read more |
 THE VICE GUIDE TO GOLD DIGGING
Every time I buy Vogue I spend most of the time looking at the ads. I want all that shit. I'm supposed to want all that shit. That's what the whole male bird/fe-male bird thing is all about. Unfortunately, someone forgot to pay me. How am I supposed to ...Read more |
 HATE YOUR KIDS?
"Blaiw" Saves the Day With a Guy Named God
Ever try raisin' a kid? Let's just say it's not exactly a blast. Even the most well-behaved and Christ-loving child can be a handful sometimes. Shit, what if you had three of them? What if one of them had ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) lik...Read more |
 LITERARY
Book Reviews - The Corporate Issue
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
You must read this book before George does whatever he’s going to do to it. Who knows. Maybe George is a genius. He certainly had the imagination and balls to pick this as his...Read more |
 I CAN'T STOP CRYING
The Post-Emo Futuristic Folk of Miighty Flashlight
One of the most tired clichés in thinking about rock music goes like this: not a lot of people bought the first Velvet Underground record at the time of its release but everybody who did consequently started a band of their own...Read more |
 LET'S GO ALL THE WAY
Immersionists Who Go So Far in They Can't Get Out
Like a jackknife disappearing into the dark fissure of society's twisted bowels, the new immersionists are stabbing themselves deep into their subject and not coming out until the wounds heal...Read more |
 RECORDINGS FOR DEVIANTS
Music Review - The Corporate Issue
The LOUVIN BROTHERS
Satan Is Real
Hey you! Satan! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you punk-ass piece of dog mess. You think you're so big, huh? You think you can just waltz into people's lives and screw things up for them?!...Read more |
 ON THE ROAD TO ALLAH
Freeway Makes a Pit Stop on the Way to the Deen
Arguably one of last year's brightest hip hop moments was when Jay-Z brought all of his signees to Funkmaster Flex's Hot 97 program for a massive freestyle session. Although Beans and Bleek did their thing, it was a then-unknown kid named Freeway who stole the...Read more |
 TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Corporate Issue
LOST AND FOUND - A SPECIAL EDITION OF TIDBITS
Two weeks ago I went to a bar on Avenue A to see if I left my black knapsack there. I've had that bag for 14 years and am extremely bummed that it's gone. As I was rummaging through their...Read more |
 SUDDEN GUST OF WIND: MINISKIRT PATROL
The Brutally Honest Films of Miike Takashi
People don't just walk out of Miike Takashi's movies, they also vomit and pass out. Pitted against the brutal intensity of Asian cinema's big-hitters, 'Beat' Takeshi and John Woo, Takashi's flicks go way beyond the pale. Jaws drop and stomachs churn when confr...Read more |
 GAMES
Games Reviews - The Corporate Issue
STATE OF EMERGENCY
Moments after Rockstar Games finished their first draft of State of Emergency the game was on the news – everywhere. Some retard had gotten a hold of a few screen grabs and assumed...Read more |
 THE GREATEST JOB ON EARTH
How to Get Rich in Fast Food
I thoroughly enjoyed working at McDonald's.
I was the manager of an English McDonald's for three years. My brother worked there too and the amount of laughs we had "on the floor" often approached pants-pissing levels...Read more |
 THE SMASHING PUMPKINS ARE DEAD
Finally Zwan
Back in 1990 there was a group of devoted guitarists that existed one tier above Maximumrocknroll's scene reports. They loved metal and punk rock but were combining it with hate and drugs to make sounds that were so far ahead of their time they were doo...Read more |
 UNLIMITED EDITION
The Unlimited Supply of Hungary EMI
To be anything but white in Hungary is to be seriously vexed. Rappers Fekete Vonat (Black Train) know that as well as anyone. EMI Hungary has just refused to release their third album because it's in gypsy and the group is stuck in Eastern Europe, unable to br...Read more |
 WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT
A World Uprising Starts at the Tenenbaums
On Dec 24th, at New York's Union Square Cinema, a riot broke out. Two hundred people had paid via credit card to see The Royal Tenenbaums, but the computers were down. The underpaid, low-IQ employees had decided to follow company policy and verify each ...Read more |
 WINDOW CROSS-DRESSER
AIDSBOT is an Antisocial Disease
"I don't like to do things half-assed. Like if I get fucked up, I want my heart to stop and be like this close to dying and come back and be like, Alright, I'm all set."
Miguel Mickey Michael Matos Gambona (a.k.a. AIDSBOT), Window Dresser...Read more |
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