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DOS & DON'TS

You've got to be out of your mind to commit suicide by tiger. Comments/Enlarge | See all


I’ve got no clue what homos are planning to do with marriage once they’ve gotten the go-ahead, but considering the tan-creamed, Malibu-Barbie tumor we’ve let it become, they’ve got their work cut out for them. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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I LOVE MONDAYS!

Garfield Creator Sets the Record Straight



“On Monday I wished it was Tuesday night/So I could wish for the weekend to come.”
—Billy Bragg
“Wishing the Days Away”

Last year we featured a chart that broke down office quotes about the days of the week. People who hate their shitty jobs filled us in: Monday is bad just because. Tuesday is almost worse because there’s no end in sight. Wednesday is the hump day that changes everything (this makes it both grueling and exhilarating). Thursday is the best because you have maximum weekend ahead of you. Friday sucks because the weekend is starting (read: starting to end). Saturday are pretty good but fleeting. Sundays are the worst because you know what tomorrow is. And so on.

Unfortunately our chart didn’t kill the topic. The water coolers are still surrounded by people arguing the pros and cons of the week. We asked Garfield creator Jim Davis to give us the final word on the subject.

How much are you like Garfield? Do you hate Mondays?

I love lasagna. I don’t see the benefit of jogging. Have you ever seen a jogger smile?

(Laughing, then regaining composure) No. I have to admit, I have not. What else?

I occasionally take a catnap after lunch. I hate “cute.” Aside from that, I bear little resemblance to Garfield. I’m an optimist, he’s a pessimist. I love Mondays. It’s a fresh new week to get it right this time.

Do you like Sundays?

I find little good about a day when the bars are closed.

That’s classic Garfield ’tude, dude. Anyways, Thursdays are the best because you have maximum weekend ahead of you and you can party your ass off because not much is expected of you on Friday. Agreed?

Friday is a busy day for me. I try to knock off all the stuff I procrastinated on during the week. Thursday evenings I’m more likely to attend the studio than a party.

Working on a Thursday night instead of partying? Ooooh-Kaaaay, now I’ve heard everything. So what’s your favorite day, then?

Saturday! That’s the day to clean up the well-intentioned work that wasn’t finished on Friday, fiddle around the house, play a little golf, shop, play with the kids, and take my wife out on a date. It’s a fast day but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nor would the missus, I imagine. Any tips on getting over the hump (surviving Wednesday)?

Mind-set...blank out Monday and Tuesday and tell yourself you only have a three-day workweek.

SHARKY FAVORITE

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