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DOS & DON'TS

I’ve never wanted to be reincarnated as a gross piece of sticky brown stuff on a chair until now. Comments/Enlarge | See all


I hate all these boring remakes of Friday 13th and Halloween. What if they remade Hellraiser, Conan The Destroyer and Cruising into the same movie? That would fucking rule! Comments/Enlarge | See all






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GAMES






AUTHOR: THX 1138

Grand Turismo 3: A-spec
Developer: Polyphony Digital
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Platform: PS2
Rating: Everyone

I remember when the first Playstation came out and everyone wondered when the games were going to look as good as those pre-rendered cut scenes. The wait is over fags and GT3 lives up to the hype. Perhaps the most killer app for the PS2, this game is an absolute must-have unless you despise racing games. This game has tons of levels, some decent tunes, and hands down the best graphics seen on the PS2 to date. The game-play is very similar to GT2, as well as the computer AI. I found that I could use many of the same strategies from GT2 in GT3. This game looks so damn realistic I forgot that I was looking at a game and felt a bit guilty for being drunk. If you’re even thinking about getting a PS2, it’s worth it just for this game.


Max Payne
Developer: Remedy
Publisher: 3D Realms
Platform: PC, PS2
Rating: Mature Audience

If you can forget about the wack name, tacky marketing and the fact that the lead character’s facial expression makes him look like he’s always pinching out a stubborn loaf, this is a pretty impressive game. The developers make a lot of pretension towards creating a cinematic, film-noir feel but all that’s window dressing for a solid shooter with some great graphic features. Everything is shootable in this game. Want to blow up a water cooler? No problem. Shoot a gas tank and it spins around from the escaping gas. If you shoot a newspaper lying on a desk, you actually see the little shreds of paper falling down slowly, while the wood splinters land much faster. It’s this kind of attention to detail that makes this game stand out. They combine tight game-play with never-seen-before super weapons. Like the Molotov cocktail that, if accidentally dropped, explodes and burns you to death.




CLASSIC GAME OF THE MONTH:

Commando (1985)
Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: Arcade

The first real job I had was working at a comic book shop downtown in the summer of ‘86. The store had a Commando arcade machine at the back that the owners used to squeeze a little more cash out of the geeks. I had the keys to the slots so whenever things got slow I’d play endless games. One of the granddaddys of today’s first person shooter craze, Commando established a frantic, fast-paced style of game-play that was often imitated (often poorly). The graphics were kick-ass at the time. They still are actually. While Quake 3 and Unreal Tournament remain the uncontested champs in the FPS genre, it’s easy to see why this game is where it all started.



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