NEWSLETTER

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AUTHOR: Chris Nieratko

Welcum To Chloeville 2
Patrick Collins
Elegant Angel

I’ve been watching a lot of VH1’s “Behind the Music” lately and drinking straight Tequila. Sometimes, after eating the worm, I begin to imagine how my “Behind The Music” would be laid out. I’m sure they’d talk about my troubled youth, putting a teacher in the hospital, going to jail, then turning my life around when I found the healing power of hard drugs and alcohol. I wonder if the fact that I put salt in my hand to see how much comes out of the shaker, before I put it on my food is too mundane and shouldn’t be mentioned. I would definitely want Chloe in my bio piece. It seems she’s in everyone else’s: Guns N Roses, Poison and Warrant to name a few. If you didn’t know any better you’d think she’d fucked every hair band of the 80s, which leads me to think I should hurry up and grow my hair out so I can fuck her already. I fear she might not want to be on my “Behind The Music” if she hadn’t fucked me. Do you think Chloe was ever married? If so, do you think her husband was in a band? What if he was in a cheesy cock rock cover band and then his wife started fucking all the dudes he was covering. Do you think he’d be psyched because he was a big fan of their music or do you think he’d fire up a hot bath and slit his wrists, and count the seconds until he got to the big jam session in the great beyond, all because he had found one of CC Deville’s pubes in his teeth. I always said I’d never get married unless I found a woman who could suck my dick and lick my balls at the same time. The only reason I’d say that was because I thought it was impossible and I didn’t want to get married but the lovely and talented Alexandra Quinn proved me wrong in this video. And I’ll be honest, if she’ll have me, I think it’s time I settle down.

Perverted Stories 29
Jim Powers
JM Productions

I think the reason I’m such a fan of Raymond Carver is that he only wrote short stories. He was too drunk to invest the time needed to write an entire novel and it never really bothered him. He focused on his weirdo mini novellas and made the words sing and dance off the page. The first time I read his work, I believe it was the one where the men go walking, and kill two young girls by bashing in their skulls with rocks. I’ve been hard pressed to find that strange feeling elsewhere until I watched this video. Jim Powers doesn’t waste his time sculpting a half-assed plot that uses unnecessary character development, played out stereotypes, and boring settings. Instead he thrusts the viewer into four separate and unique vignettes, forcing the watcher to create his own scenarios on how the characters came to be. In the first, possibly my favorite, a young woman in a mini-skirt working at an oil refinery is ordered to clean up an oil spill by two of her male co-workers. When she asks if she can change into her cleaning outfit, the men naturally undress her and order her to clean up the mess in the nude. While, surprisingly, sucking some cock. This is when Powers really shines. Rather than allow the film to turn into just another fuck fest, Powers directs his actors to pour buckets and buckets of what we are to believe is oil (but I’m not entirely convinced that it is) all over their bodies and then begin having a fuck fest. Words can not describe the poetry that is two men double teaming a lovely co-worker as her anal cavity fills with crude oil, so I’ll simply say, Bravo!

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