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You can laugh at the people who buy everything Vice magazine has to offer, but without them you and I wouldn’t be here, and without you and I what else is there but big steaming pile of “them”? Comments/Enlarge | See all


Ever notice how women with plastic surgery look incredibly embarrassed, like you just called them out on a big lie? Well, unless you have the worst eyesight in the world, you just did.
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ALSO BY LISA GABRIELE

DEAR DIARY
Entry: June 27, 1985
DEAR DIARY
Entry: September 11, 1983
DEAR DIARY
Entry: June 12, 1986
DEAR DIARY
Entry: August 29th, 1984

See all articles by this contributor




DEAR DIARY

Entry: September 11, 1983

Published June, 2001




AUTHOR: LISA GABRIELE

Sept 11th, 1983
Right now I have a bad headache and I feel crappy. My life is full of problems, but thank God I am a little drunk right now. Well, coming off my buzz, really. I am totally getting chummy with Ron S. can you believe it! He’s a grade thirteener. (We are both Geminis, we both LOVE poetry and are both DEEP with our emotions) So here was my plan. There’s this chick at our school Lisa V. She’s really popular and I guess this year she maybe thinks I’m good enough to hang around. Well, she likes this guy Chris G. a 13er and head of Internal Affairs on council. She wanted to ask him to the Semi. So she goes to me: “I want you to ask one of his friends”, and guess who that may be? Ron S., of course. If he said yes, I would be set for life at school. My popularity would soar to the rooftops and Lisa V. would remain my friend forever.


June 2001
Without my knowing it, Lisa V. asked Ron for me. He laughed at the idea and avoided me for the rest of the year. I ended up going with a guy who got so drunk he put his car in the ditch in front of my house, on his way to get me.
This past winter, on a visit home, I ran into Lisa at a bar that I used to work at. She looked great and was with a quiet blonde who was suffering from a severe head cold. Lisa told me she was just about to get married. This guy was amazing, she said, and he bought her a huge ring, (I saw it, huge!). Also, he has an amazing job, and, so, by the way, does she, at some amazing office in Detroit. She also said that years ago she ran into Chris G. at the Devonshire Mall and he was super fat. Then she asked me whom I was waiting for. I said, “Nobody”. She said, “Huh. Nobody?” And I said, “Nobody. I just dropped in for a quick drink.” And she said, “So you’re here all by yourself?” And I said “Yeah”. And she said, “Oh. Huh. Well, I do remember you were kind of the independent type.”

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