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Wait, Grooverider? Are you kidding? The drum and bass guy? What are you, one of those Crazy Town morons that discovered E too late in life, had an epiphany, and now treats all that Ibiza garbage like it’s not a bunch of vapid megalomaniacs wasting everyone’s time being metrosexual hippies?
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This would be OK at a party if it was like a lampshade or something but to seriously wear it while taking your only friend for a walk makes the whole world want to be mean to you.
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Ever wonder where your biological Dad is? Is he in the Navy Seals fighting some super evil despot we don’t even know about yet or is he in Paris pursuing his photography career? Daydream all you want but you know he’s still in Mississauga speaking in gibberish slurs and pounding his fist to music he’s never heard before. Comments/Enlarge | See all




SOUND OF THE PIRATES

The War Between Drum and Bass and Garage is Finally Over




Saturday night, February 24. A sweaty underground club in the UK heaves with an impatient crowd waiting for Kosheen, the live/vocal drum and bass act that, like every new talent, has been hailed as “the one that will save drum and bass.” A quick scan of the crowd reveals precisely four black guys, an unimpressive percentage despite the fact that this is northern England. Kids in baggy trousers skateboard on a halfpipe in the back while a drunken dad stumbles about the dancefloor. The long-held generalization that the gangstaz, playaz, ladeez and indeed everyone else have deserted drum and bass in favor of garage suddenly seems to ring true. “What are we going to do now?”

It’s not easy to follow in the two step herd. Champagne priced in triple digit British Pounds and excessive super diva vocal action have kept VICE operatives well clear. Then there’s that “no sneakers” rule (what is with that rule?).

We were just about to give in to their logic and trade in our Nike Air Wovens for something “smarter” like a pair of black dress shoes from Walmart when, at the last minute, everything changed. A clever group of chaps came along and started fusing the best bits of breakbeat, jungle, garage and hip hop. While everyone from DJ Zinc to No U Turn Records are getting in on the action, one duo who really stand out are London’s Stanton Warriors. “I wouldn’t call what we do ‘breakbeat garage,’” says Stanton Warrior Dominic B. “All it is, is you get a breakbeat and a heavyweight style jungle bassline and you put it together and that’s all this music is. But it’s not as easy as that, and there’s a lot of stuff out there that sounds like shit.”

It’s all that shit that makes Stanton Warriors sound so good. It’s not all stuttering breaks and wailing cheese, nor is it boring breaks with hideously dark and cluttered basslines. Their remixes of “Dooms Night” and “Jump N’ Shout” maintain the vibe and crowd pleasing elements of the originals, while injecting them with better beats, effects and, in the case of Timo Mass’ smash, a new ragga vocal line.

It fact, the relatively new mash up of everything from breaks to tech house to ragga two step is working so well with crowds it’s threatening to take over the UK and, in turn, offer up a more palatable dish to serve to North America. As garage is finally catching on Stateside after years of everyone assuming Armand Van Helden’s “Spin Spin Sugar” was it, these sensibly-attired UK brats might crossover where superstars like MJ Cole and Craig David failed. Of course, with success come accusations of piracy on the high seas.

“People will always say what they want to say,” responds Tayo Popoola, who runs breaksish/house-like/garagey label Mob Records. “Whatever, if I hear something and want to use it in my tracks, I’m going to. Dance music is like that; I mean, garage originally borrowed a lot from old hardcore and drum and bass records. What makes dance music better than rock music is the fact that it’s a fresh music, and it’s gotta keep being fresh.”

OL’ CURLY
Stanton Warriors have remixed Fatboy Slim, Missy Elliot, Artful Dodger, Jocelyn Brown and many more but they’ve only made one single so far called “Da Virus” which is out now on Mob Records. No U Turn’s new garage label is called Turn U On, ha ha. We’re not fronting on that Nike Air Woven shit either... thanks to Philip at Acupuncture for hooking us up.

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