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DOS & DON'TS

Ever wondered who the “she” is in all those Bikini Kill songs? It’s her. Comments/Enlarge | See all


He's in a band called Fall Out Bitch and he cried when Pete Wentz got his hair cut on stage. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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TIDBITS

A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Shark Issue




1 THE SEDITIONIST
Our favorite thing from Freshjive’s weirdest series of clothes and accessories. The Seditionist is the Mike York doll. Not only does York skate for monsters like Chocolate, he is also the funniest dude we know. Now he’s a fucking action man with a goalie mask, a riot shield and a dozen other war toys. Too good.

2 HOMEMADE CLARK’S
Cutting your Clark’s to bits can make them a bit slippy (it’s hard to improve a design that’s over 120 years old), but then nobody else in the world has a pair. This particular alteration makes them wearable with no socks so you can take them on vacation.

3 MONA ALCOOL
When Romanian alcoholics drink Alcool they can hallucinate real, real bad. So bad in fact that the people at Scandic Distilleries were forced to change their hungry wolf bottle (called germ killer) with a sexy summer nurse bottle (called Mona).


4 BEER LOLLIPOP
This is not cool. Mexican beer companies are making beer candy so kids will drink beer later on.

5 CRACK CLUB SUSPENDERS
This is not cool. British suspender companies are trying to get kids to smoke crack.

6 VINTAGE POLAROIDS
Now that digital camera sales are exceeding real camera sales, vintage Polaroids seem more noble than ever. From the totally illogical design of the Captiva (looks like a tiny 35mm but you have to unfold it 30 times until it’s as big as a car) to the iZone (it’s sticky film has made it the best-selling camera in the world), Polaroids represent all that is good in the world.
Check out our 192 most favorite Polaroids on p. 69.

7 YAMAHA QY70
Nothing beats this tiny toy for making the cutest and most gay-ass bubblegum tunes in the world. The QY100 is big and awkward with lame clap tracks but you can create an entire band on the QY70 with just eight sequence tracks and a few sound effects.
Freezepop did. See their interview on p.41.

8 URISTAT
If your cervix doesn’t enjoy having a penis bash into it 3,000 times a day you may be familiar with the crippling ache of a bladder infection or, as old people call it, honeymooner’s disease. You can drink infinite liters of cranberry juice as you sit on the toilet groaning or you can take a Uristat and feel better in about five minutes. Aside from the alarmingly orange pee color this is the most effective drug on the market since heroin.

9 HEAVY METAL KARAOKE
God bless everyone out there that tries their best during karaoke. Don’t scream your head off. Don’t hog the mic. You’re there to simulate the song. If there’s one person on the verses and a bunch in the choruses then you should only let other people come in on the choruses. If you’re doing “Paradise City” then you have to sing it like Axl. This documentary has some real troopers, but our favorite part is when the band has a serious discussion about cutting down “War Pigs” to a reasonable length.


This month’s winner:
The Seditionist


To win your free subscription to VICE send tidbits to: VICE Magazine, 75 North Fourth Street, 3rd floor, brooklyn, new york, 11211, usa


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Comments

Anonymous, on Nov 7, 2009 wrote:
Hm-m-m, such a nice magazine were all the shit from over the world placed. Keep on
Anonymous, on Jun 9, 2009 wrote:
golliwog candies!
if packaging in the us was that awesome, we’d have just about everything we need.
Anonymous, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
sit on my face
Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Tims makes the *best* Salt & Vinegar chips--and its amazing with Cabernet ;)
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Correction asshole: MUSICIANS benefit humanity. The industry benefits nobody but the industry.
Anonymous, on Apr 3, 2009 wrote:
Fuck you Vice for promoting music theft and fuck snot-nosed whiny babies with an entitlement complex who cant shell out fucking 0.99 for a song you can play for the rest of your life and don’t care if they’re comlpetely destroying an industry that benefits humanity immeasurably. Cunts.
crimewave, on Feb 8, 2009 wrote:
i recognized those xanax from a thumbnail. fuck. yeah.
Anonymous, on Feb 5, 2009 wrote:
aw i love this
Anonymous, on Feb 2, 2009 wrote:
i drove past sambo’s in santa barbara in april 2000 and everyone in the car had exactly the same reaction. the fact that there was a storm coming, so it looked like a ghost town just added to the "did we just drive back to the forties?" feeling.
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
nacism?
Anonymous, on Dec 2, 2008 wrote:
Don’t you know SHIT is the shit?
Anonymous, on Dec 1, 2008 wrote:
POT
"Me and my girl rolled about three joints before watching The Ring and oh my god did we ever get scared. bollocks !!!

smoke 3 joints and walk around glasgow
Anonymous, on Nov 28, 2008 wrote:
bag hutch
Anonymous, on Oct 31, 2008 wrote:
sink ma teef innit
Tiago, on Oct 16, 2008 wrote:
The eyedrops are not american
Anonymous, on Sep 5, 2008 wrote:
That is not a "cheap slingshot" in the rattlesnake egg envelope. Spin the plastic or metal ring that is suspended by the two rubber bands and put it back in the envelope like that.. then, when someone opens the envelope it makes a loud noise (as the rubber bands unravel, spinning the button against the paper)and they yell and then everyone laughs. say duh, you cheap thief.
Anonymous, on Jul 13, 2008 wrote:
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 11, 2008 wrote:
Edgy stuff!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous, on Jul 3, 2008 wrote:
I’ve been enjoying hot spotted cock for years.
Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2008 wrote:
BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE haha I saw that at work the other day and the bagger and I couldn’t stop laughing!

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