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DOS & DON'TS

If something ever happens to our national acid supply, homeroom is really going to suck. Comments/Enlarge | See all


She’s aiming at “grunge goes to college” but it’s coming off more like the cover artwork of a porno VHS where schoolgirls have to drink the jizz of hairy Germans out of a martini glass. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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GAMES



AUTHOR: THX 1138


Luigi’s Mansion
Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: Nintendo
Platform: GameCube
Genre: Action/Puzzler
Rating: Everyone

I can’t believe the same company responsible for the Super Mario series released this game as a flagship title. A new Nintendo console usually means the release of a new Mario game, but this time we’re treated to the cold offering that is Luigi’s Mansion. Basically you run around a haunted house with a vacuum cleaner sucking up ghosts, and moving on to the next level, trying to save the sorely absent Mario. Not much else is offered, and the “suck up ghosts and clear the room” kiddie-themed routine gets tired fast. You can finish this game in about four hours. The visuals are amazing, with an old-school Disney quality, and really show some promise for future GameCube titles. However, anyone looking for the next generation Mario title should stay far away from this snoozer and wait for Mario Sunshine, hopefully due out next year.





Super Monkey Ball
Publisher: SEGA
Developer: Amusement Vision
Platform: GameCube
Genre: Arcade/Puzzler/Party
Rating: Everyone

Remember the old days when Nintendo and Sega were like the Coke and Pepsi of the video game world? You basically had to swear allegiance to one of them unless you were a rich kid and could afford an SNES and a Genesis. Well, those days are over, and Sega’s first offering for Nintendo bodes well. A cross between Mario Party and the old arcade version of Monkey Ball, you guide your monkey in a transparent ball around crazy 3-D mazes and really nicely designed levels by ‘tilting’ the board, and not the ball. There are a ton of mini-games to break things up, including a decent billiards game, a racing game, and a great boxing game. The graphics are surreal and have an cartoony psychedelic quality to them. This game has a very arcade-like feel to it, in that you can just pick it up and play it, but it actually demands a lot of skill to really master it. A little repetitive, but overall a fun solid game for when friends are over.





Star Wars Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader
Publisher: SEGA
Developer: Amusement Vision
Platform: GameCube
Genre: Arcade/Puzzler/Party
Rating: Everyone

The big sequel to the N64 Rogue Squadron, this game is the best of the bunch. RSII lets you pilot all the classic ships from the original Star Wars trilogy, playing as Luke or Wedge. There are over 10 levels, featuring almost movie-quality renderings of the Death Star trench run, and the battle of Hoth. The graphics in this game practically justify the GameCube’s existence. Some scenes look almost identical to their film counterparts, complete with Dolby Surround Sound. To get the extra levels, you have to beat each level three times, which gets a little tedious, and the last few levels are almost impossible, but overall a great game even if you don’t dig Star Wars.



CLASSIC GAME OF THE MONTH:

SUPER MARIO BROS

Super Mario Bros. was the game that changed the industry. Up until 1986 when it came out, the only player left in the home console market was Atari, and their latest offering, the 7800, was dead on the doorstep. Along comes Nintendo with the NES, packed together with maybe one of the best games ever made, SMB. The brainchild of revered game designer Shigeru Myamoto, SMB defined a new genre in games: the side-scroller. Probably the most imitated genre of the 80s and 90s, the side-scroller soon became a standard. Every company had to have their own cutesy mascot starring in their own sidescroller, à la Sonic the Hedgehog and Crash Bandicoot. None of the contenders ever matched the sheer playability, addictiveness, and bang-on design of the original. Many of today’s 3D games imitate the conventions of running/jumping/searching established by SMB, and no game has yet come close to redefining an entire genre like SMB.


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