AUTHOR: Nadia Strokov
TOPIC: The Lighter Side of Anime Porn
Wake Up, Aria!
Director: Komari Yukino
Kitty / Media Station
Taking a much-needed break from American live-action porn, I made my way through the hanging beads into the adult section of my local anime store in search of school girls, tentacle penises, atrocious rock music and bad subtitle translations. Wake Up, Aria! scores highly in these four categories, with extra bonus points for the setting: Golden Breast Island. The plot and movie start off fiendishly well, with talented young girls heading for a private school on the aforementioned island to study music and etiquette. The principal and his she-male "sister" call the girls in on a nightly basis for private piano lessons, which involve restraints, a two-pronged dildo and a lot of panties being torn off. Pretty good up 'til now, if you're into that whole Japanese schoolgirl domination thing, but then it all gets too complicated and magical. The headmasters are actually aliens, and their fingers turn into snake-like cocks, and the dildo has hypnotizing powers, and they're stealing the girls' creative energy, but one of them has a supernatural witch ring, and she shoots the aliens with it, but it doesn't work, but then they start playing 80s synth-rock, and that seems to do the trick, but then the aliens grow into giants, so the girls form like Voltron and their hair grows super long, then the aliens blow up. Ohhh-Tay.
Co-Ed Affairs
Director: Sai Imazaki
Kitty / Koin Tenshi Project
Another film listed as "Erotic Comedy," Co-Ed also starts off strong then wanders off and gets lost. Three innocent co-eds invite their male neighbor over to show them his bits and pieces while they film everything on their new compact digital video camera. Pretty soon, Moemi is giving her first blowjob while Mitsugu directs the action. While there are some insanely funny lines in this dubbed-into-English version ("I can't believe it! You came on my head!"), the animation is pretty lazy, consisting mostly of still shots. The girls are soon videotaping all their adventures, which unfortunately take a turn into urination territory. After a few public peeing scenes, Co-Ed ends abruptly, leaving you puzzled and far from turned-on.
Slight Fever Syndrome
Original story: Rumi Miyamoto
Kitty / Knack
Easily the best of the three, Slight Fever features good sex scenes, lots of crazy hijinks and some witty, well-written dialogue. Nurse Mizuki is the new health education counselor, determined to make a difference and help solve the problems of her dear little lambs. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for us, the school is full of raging nymphos and horny little soccer players. All the girls want to talk about sex, the boys are screwing their girlfriends at school, everyone's jerking off, teachers are dating students… it's out of control. Only one complaint: why do all the cocks look like Pogos?
Next issue: The Darker Side of Anime Porn. All videos available in Montreal at Marché Clandestin, 325 Ontario E, 514.282.3930
