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If people get pissed at you for not going to Jody’s birthday it’s because they wanted you to be there to entertain people because they’re so lame. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not a court jester. In fact, if you do show up, wear these pants and go, “All right assholes. You got your way. Which shitty life needs a dose of me?”
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This guy is like those swallows in California, except instead of telling you "Spring is here" he's saying, "Now that it's too hot to stay indoors, your eyes are my personal meground." Comments/Enlarge | See all







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This guy is like one big middle finger to all the losers who think extending the fork on a bike makes them "zany." One big, skeletal middle finger dipped in monster.Comments/Enlarge | See all




GET FUCKED THEN FUCK SHIT THE FUCK UP

UK Tech House Duo Have Three Meanings For The F-Word




"I'm really fed up with all these people," says Nils Hess, the angry half of London tech-housers Get Fucked. He pauses before continuing, so for a second it seems like a sweeping indictment of everyone, everywhere. "All these people," he finally adds, "who are ruining house music."

In the five minutes that follow, the blacklist grows. The media, mainstream magazines, people who overcategorize music, trance, fuckers who don't clean up after their dog, uncreative types in it for the Benjamins (er, Elizabeths), something about sampling too much; nobody's safe. They all receive a giant "Get fucked!" -- the UK equivalent of "go fuck yourself!" -- from Nils and partner Nathan Coles.

Even with the British music scene's past history of being cheeky, calling yourselves Get Fucked is pushing it to new heights. It means that posh BBC presenters are forced to say things like "Coming in at number nine, that was, um, Get Fucked with their hit --ahem-- 'Hot Pussy'." Alternately, you may hear titles like "Love Balls," "Private Parts," "Crap Rap" or "Get Fucked on Fishcakes." Nathan's mum found their name and song titles so offensive that she banned their debut album, Dot to Dot, from the house.

I always get asked why I called it Get Fucked," Nils wearily explains. "Well here is the answer for you all for the last time. It has three meanings and this is what my life is about: getting totally caned, having lots of sexual action and not caring what other people think."

And besides the name? A nice little album of techy-house and breakbeats, flawlessly produced and very funky-groovy indeed. A reputation for down and dirty DJ sets to get messy and, well, fucked to. A laidback attitude about making music and not getting too caught up in all the bullshit parts of the industry.

"The underground has always had a scene in London and it will always stay this way as we have talented groups of people who are helping everything go forward musically," says Hess. "For us, being new and innovative is not really the point. Music simply has to have vibe and feeling. It has nothing to do with fashion, just emotion. All you can do is try to be yourself."

And get fucked.

OL' CURLY
Get Fucked's Wet Dreams is out now on Eukahouse, distributed in North America through UCMG/Intergroove.

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