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DRAINPIPES BATHED THE GOLDEN GLOWThe Guy from Felt Is Still Angry About PantsINTERVIEW BY DOUGLAS HARTPORTRAIT BY BEN RAYNER  Lawrence Hayward has penned heaps of absolutely perfect pop songs, and yet none of his bands—Felt, Denim, and the latest, Go Kart Mozart—has ever delivered a massive crossover hit. According to Lawrence, this is due to two things: his unfailing ability to never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity and simple bad luck. From what I’ve witnessed, both are true. After a string of incredible albums and resounding reviews, a concert was arranged for Felt in 1987. All the major labels, music publishers, and influential critics were in attendance—it was the most important show they’d ever played. That morning, Lawrence called me to ask if I wanted to meet up and take acid. I did. The rest of the day was spent in a glorious blur, but Lawrence was confident he could play the show. “Yeah, I’ll be fine” is what he said, right up to the moment he made his way to the stage. The house lights went down, the massive stage lights faded up, and the first chord was struck. I was tripping heavily, thinking, “I can’t believe it! He’s going to fucking do it!” Then Lawrence began to scream: “Stop! Turn the lights out. Everyone’s looking at me!” The stage lights went down and the band started again, in total darkness. Thirty seconds later, Lawrence began shouting again: “Stop!” And in the dark, silent hall he very calmly said, “I can’t do this. If you want your money returned, see the man at the back.” He walked offstage, leaving behind a stunned band and an audience already considering what they’d be destroying first in the ensuing riot. Later, with Denim, Lawrence penned “Summer Smash,” an outrageously catchy pop tune that was immediately picked up by mainstream radio and just as immediately dropped when the death of Princess Diana in a Parisian car crash rendered a song called “Summer Smash” less than tasteful. A few months later, the label destroyed every copy of the surefire hit that never was. Don’t believe any songwriter who tells you he’s happy to remain an underground figure or cult concern. It’s a defense mechanism meant to deflect defeat graciously. Hits matter to Lawrence. Like me, Lawrence is still addicted to the mysteries and myths of popular music. This is why, when no music journalist has been able to squeeze a word out of him for the past decade or so, the one thing he finally agreed to sit and have a chat about was why the fashion of music will always be important to him. Vice: What have you got there? Lawrence: I brought you this book to have a look at: Knuckle Sandwich. Excellent. Thanks! Its full title is Knuckle Sandwich: Growing Up in the Working-class City and it’s about these kids who go to a disco club that’s eventually closed because of all the fights. I fell in love with the chapter titles. Things like “We Hate Humans,” “Whatever Happened to the Teenage Dream,” and “The Fall of the Black Horse Disco, Part 1.” It’s a bit like the original 1964 version of the Generation X book. It got me thinking about T.Rex and Gary Glitter and the whole pre-punk period when pop stars were proper pop stars. Pre-year zero. I thought it was funny that after year zero, most of that stuff was off-limits, but you were still allowed to like T.Rex. Siouxsie did that cover of “20th Century Boy” and Captain Sensible wore that great T.Rex t-shirt. The Damned even toured with them. He was the only one in with the punks. I used to rush home from school to watch The Marc Bolan Show, and he had Generation X on as guests. He had everyone on. Public Image… I saw a feature the other day about the making of the first Public Image record and there was this amazing picture of them. Johnny Rotten was wearing a shirt with his own head screen-printed on the front that a fan had sent him. It was all weird and purple. In the article he said, “We were into Atomic Rooster, that was what inspired the song ‘Public Image,’ an Atomic Rooster track.” So I bought their best-of CD to try and hear where that Public Image riff came from, but it was like this prog-blues stuff. It was horrible. See all articles by this contributor
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