PILLS FROM BRAZILPharma-Tourism Is a Real Trip, Man
BY LIZ ARMSTRONG
If a Brazilian person ever hands you some pills, don’t ask any questions. Just swallow them on the spot. I assure you that they are far superior to their American counterparts. And full disclosure here, I am not one of those pill voyagers. I am more of a disgusting hippie who’d rather meditate myself back to health than swallow the evil poisons that the scam artists in the FDA try to pass off as restorative.
These Brazilian black-market meds, though, are top-notch. They are best when administered by a real-live Brazilian, but they work miracles no matter what—as long as you don’t mind the unexpected side effects that come with blindly gulping foreign chemicals.
Here is a drug-by-drug report on what my pile of mysterious pills did to me.
( Requisite disclaimer: This is for “entertainment” purposes only. Don’t do this. DON’T DO THIS. DO. NOT. DO. THIS. Cripes.)
Select each number for a description of the pills.
 Anonymous, on Jul 22, 2009 wrote:
so many bright and beautiful colors going on with these drugs - the US does not have this much fun with packaging | |
| b3nn3, on Jul 4, 2009 wrote:
mmmmmmmmi had me some indian pills recently...sweet as. | |
| Stanleyhalen, on Jun 8, 2009 wrote:
Half the fun of world travel is all the wonderful drugs you can buy over the counter in foreign countries..
| | Anonymous, on Jun 2, 2009 wrote:
ill stick to my acid and endones thanks | | Anonymous, on May 30, 2009 wrote:
RACISTS!!!!!!!!!!! | | Anonymous, on May 29, 2009 wrote:
you forgot benflogin. that shit gets you high as a kite, no sleeping for three days, light hallucinations, faces melting, paranoia, all this shit. | | Anonymous, on May 29, 2009 wrote:
floratil just sounds like a probiotic. nurse help you to "pee" equals diarrhea? | | Anonymous, on May 29, 2009 wrote:
In Brazil there are religious groups that go around and put pin holes in condoms. | |
| Grant, on May 29, 2009 wrote:
If Engov truly works we need something like that that works in the states. I’ve tried a few of these hangover fender-offers, and have noticed that they all say to take with three glasses of water. I don’t feel any better in the morning than if I had had three glasses of water with no pill. No shit - drinking water before you go to sleep helps your hangover! | | Anonymous, on May 29, 2009 wrote:
The real question is can you get codeine syrup OTC. | | Anonymous, on May 28, 2009 wrote:
Decadron must have been great. I think I see six of them missing from the package. Lots of shitting must have commenced. | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
Green Day is the only high I need. | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
this sounds like a job for hamilton morris! she did fine though. except for the period pills. no one wants to hear about that | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
I dunno, I think if i went to south america i could have rummaged up some better pills than this | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
You might think that these pills are a little over the top, until you come down with a fainting shitstorm of period blood and drooling out your ears (for no reason at all other than having dinner). If that happens (which it does) those pills will be my buddies I dont care what they do. | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
This is the kind of shit you get parkinson’s from and you think your cat is your tranny uncle. Fuck that shit. | | Anonymous, on May 27, 2009 wrote:
why is this lady not in jail or dead? | | Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
aWopBop said it all - every Brazilian kid remembers his first experience with benflogin! It’s actually a very by-the-book experience of doing drugs: you get the high, you get hallucinations, and you get the crash at the end of it all. And every thing for less than R$8. | | Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
thanks for that tidbit about your many abortions when talking about piroxicam. good to know. | | Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
damn number eight experience sounds scary. I would be terrified to be in foreign hospitals, especially south american ones. | | Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
damn this girl got sick a lot in Brazil! | | Anonymous, on May 26, 2009 wrote:
ooh. what torture this is! i wanna try #5 so bad! | |
| aWopBop, on May 25, 2009 wrote:
Actually, Dramin is for motion sickness, all it does besides that is make you a little bit sleepy. And you’re actually supposed to take one Engov before drinking and the other before bed. And you guys forgot the amazing Benflogin, which is basically over-the-counter amphetamine. Goes great with half a bottle of vodka. | | Anonymous, on May 23, 2009 wrote:
obviously nobody here has ever been to jail or a nuthouse. Try copping largactil (that is the aussie brand name, dont know what name its marketed with overseas). Another thing; back in the day u culd drop a largy with afew mandrex as well, lets just say that one cocktail is responsible for most of my criminal history.waking up in the cells with no idea how u got there and then to top it off finally being told just what kind of crimes them little fellas areletting u cop the rap for .( evil things. And yet they are sanctioned as ’legal’ while pot and coke for eg are portrayed as criminal and dangerous?! i nearly died on largies trying to cross a street but right in the centre of the road, cars aproaching,my body became so sedated i could do nothing but buckle down facefirst in front of oncoming traffic. Also robbed a chemist at 8.5monhs preg on the cunts, and then denied it was me cos i wasnt pregnant! ;( i must state that i am completely sane normally, but like thousands of others i know antipsychotic sedatives are making fools of some lab staff somewhere! | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
Vice anytime you need a medicine tester for drugs around the world, i will be available without side affects. | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
I took the red one and I bounced out of the Braziltrix into a hookers vagina. No? | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
pills from north korea doesnt rhyme so it could never have worked as well as "pills from brazil" | |
| boggle_brains, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
@ below me
yeah, I think pills from north korea would have been an interesting one. too bad they missed that chance | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
there should be a section like this for every country Vice visits..thatd be cool | | Anonymous, on May 22, 2009 wrote:
remember those pills that came out a while ago called "chaser" and they were supposed to help with hangovers. yeah. the didnt. maybe engov will work though... | | | Next 30 comments > |
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