MORE GOLD- ENCRUSTED CAVIAR, YOUR HIGHNESS?Vice's Favorite Dubai HotelsPHOTOS BY ADAM PATTERSON
TEXT BY VICE STAFF This is a sidebar to our story about all the lavish, derailed macro- alcazars that are possibly not being built. These ridiculous hotels made it. And we like them. 
THE BURJ AL ARAB
The Burj is constructed on an artificial island just off of Jumeirah Beach. It’s taller than the Eiffel Tower, just a pube shy of the Empire State Building, and constructed from more concrete and steel than we feel like trying to convert from cubic meters to the equivalent American measurements. To secure the foundation for the artificial base, builders drove 230 massive concrete piles into the sand. The cost of staying in a suite begins at $1,000 per night, while a night in the Royal Suite will set you back $28,000.
Its Al Mahara (Arabic for “The Oyster”) restaurant has to be accessed by a simulated submarine voyage via a humongous seawater aquarium. The tank, made of acrylic glass in order to withstand the water pressure, is about seven inches thick. The hotel can only be reached by causeway in a courtesy white Rolls-Royce or by helicopter, which lands at the hotel’s heliport, cantilevering out of the roof. It has also served as a grass tennis court for Andre Agassi and Roger Federer and a putting green for Tiger Woods. Calling itself a “seven-star” hotel despite the fact that official ratings only go up to five, the Burj also boasts the world’s fastest elevators, which travel roughly at the speed of crazy. |
 Anonymous, on May 17, 2009 wrote:
I got a widdle computer, look at the funny building I can get it to make! Go away Hadid and Gehry, the emperor has no clothes. | | Anonymous, on May 17, 2009 wrote:
Having nothing else to do with my life, I counted the floors of that there Burj Al Arab: 27. How is that ’a pube shy’ of the Empire State Building? | | Anonymous, on May 14, 2009 wrote:
Weird Fact. The BURJ AL ARAB architect was deported from the country because as you aproach it from the sea, it is essentially shaped like a huge crucifix. | | Anonymous, on May 11, 2009 wrote:
holy fuck, that can’t be real! the cloud? how is that even possible? | |
| road_kill, on May 8, 2009 wrote:
so its a pretty safe assumption that Dubai doesnt get any earthquakes... because the buildings are just spikey death traps waiting to happen | | Anonymous, on May 8, 2009 wrote:
wait, have these been built yet or they are "in the making" | | Anonymous, on May 8, 2009 wrote:
Holy gorsh! | | Anonymous, on May 8, 2009 wrote:
jumeriah is a crazy hotel co. i like essex house by central pk. you feel so lavish and ugly as you gorge on duck liver and say, "who cares" | | Anonymous, on May 8, 2009 wrote:
just a pube shy of the Empire State Building....
I really thought this would be a semi-not-obscene article. I guess ’pube’ being 20ish words in is a step forward for you guys. | | Anonymous, on May 7, 2009 wrote:
no kidding. there should be a rule about needles on top. they don’t count. like if you had a kid and play flattop that doesn’t make you another foot taller. same deal. | | Anonymous, on May 7, 2009 wrote:
imagine doing a slide down the side of the jumeirah beach hotel | | Anonymous, on May 7, 2009 wrote:
the needle of "the oyster" seems like a lame way to gain some height | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
the conjoined towers are weird, ive never seen buildings getting it on before. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
whats the deal with twisting towers? its like they just discovered it and now everyone is doing it. they will be 2 a penny soon enough. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
the one where the floors can rotate is an incredible idea and feat of engineering. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
i cant believe that they pulled funding for the death star, prob would lead to loads of people attempting to destroy it just so they could be the real luke skywalker. | |
| hooohaaa, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
youve got to give it to them....they are completely out of control. how can they justify this lavish spending creating a desert playground when the bubble will inevitably burst and it will once again return to desert. insane. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
Fuck the rich and their gaudy playgrounds. Talk to me when the workers who build these monstrosities are paid a fair wage. | |
| ghostfingers, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
monorails. now we’re talking! you cannot fuck with monorails. if monorails can make disney cool they can make anything cool. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
the dynamic tower is cool but it will end up looking a lot less graceful that this mock-up. i doubt the neighbors are going to agree to line up their floors to make nice gentle curves. it will really look like an unorganized mess. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
As much as this disgusts me, the Dubai Towers are still pretty awesome looking. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
why is the atlantis resort almost an exact copy of the one in the bahamas? | |
| Rook, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
The Burj Dubai is beautiful but you must take a care to get back to the beach. That sort of defeats the purpose of staying on the ocean, no? | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
you dumb fucks are aware that most of these hotels will never be completed or even begun to be constructed, right? The dubai market has crashed. pay attention. | | Anonymous, on May 6, 2009 wrote:
GOLD IS METAL
METAL RUINS THE TASTE OF CAVIAR!!
dumbasses. | | Anonymous, on May 5, 2009 wrote:
it appears that twisty buildings is the flavor of the day in dubai architechs world. | | Anonymous, on May 5, 2009 wrote:
the cloud is ridiculous?!?! how the hell can people be involved in this when there is a global recession that may perhaps wipe out dubai?? | | Anonymous, on May 5, 2009 wrote:
I now know where i can fly my plane into. I will be incandescent as I glow in a ball of fire and bring Atlantis back into the ocean stripping it from its perch of reclaimed land. | |
| Metatron, on May 5, 2009 wrote:
Hey, you don’t get the pyramids without some Jews (or their equivalents.) Do you people want beauty or equality? You can’t have both. | | Anonymous, on May 4, 2009 wrote:
I predict at least one if not many more catastrophic disasters during the construction of these babies. High concept + cheapest possible labor + tight schedule = bad news. | | | Next 30 comments > |
| |
