BY SAM MCPHEETERS, ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHRISTY KARACAS
It might seem presumptuous to make fashion predictions after a decade that saw so few fashion innovations. With the exception of a few extra gadgets, a bit more midriff, and the occasional message scrawled across a sweatpants backside, people in 2009 still look a lot like people in 2000. If the last decade is any indication, we probably won’t be seeing the snazzy gear of
Back to the Future II any time soon.
But this is looking at fashion with the myopia of modern expectations. The 2010s have already announced themselves as a sharp departure: new president, new economy, new priorities. If anything, a more instructive guide for the new era is the gulf between 1960 and 1970, a decade that began with men in hats and ended with hippie orgies on every street corner. Here are ten predictions for the fashions of the next ten years.
1. EPAULETTES
I’m not talking about the foppery of Austin Powers–era London or the hammy power-enhancers of corporate 80s shoulder pads. The epaulettes of the 2010s will be both elegant and authoritative, a surefire boost to America’s flagging morale. As our Great Leader has decreed, the time has come to set aside childish things. Imagine everyone strutting around with the humble confidence of General Grant’s two-star shoulder pads, the majesty of young Robert E. Lee’s shoulder brushes, or the pomp and swagger of Cap’n Crunch’s shoulder muffins. It’s morning in America all over again, and this time it’s personal. |
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