VICE PRESENTS THE PEOPLE'S LISTS
Excerpted from The People’s Almanac by David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace
Illustrations by Laura Park
GETTING OUT OF BED ON THE “RIGHT” SIDE
To arise from the left side of the bed will put you in a sour mood and will subject your entire day to misfortune. Get up from the right side and step first on your right foot. If you err, walk backward until you have returned to bed and can begin again.
Origin: The Romans thought the left side to be the “evil one.” A citizen entered a friend’s home with his right foot forward. Some wealthy families even hired a “footman” to insure proper entry of all guests. The English word “sinister” (meaning “wicked or evil”) is derived from the Latin word meaning “left side.”
BREAKING A MIRROR
This will bring you seven years of bad luck or might cause the death of someone in the family. If a mirror is broken, remove it from the house and, if possible, bury it in the ground (to counteract the evil consequences).
Origin: Before the invention of mirrors, man gazed at his reflection, his “other self,” in pools, ponds, and lakes. If the image was distorted, it was a mark of impending disaster. The “unbreakable” metal mirrors of the early Egyptians and Greeks were valued items because of their magic properties. After glass mirrors were introduced, it was the Romans who tagged the broken mirror a sign of bad luck. The length of the prescribed misfortune, seven years, came from the Roman belief that man’s body was physically rejuvenated every seven years, when he became, in effect, a new man.
ENCOUNTERING A BLACK CAT
Avoid black cats. If one crosses your route, return home.
Origin: The Egyptians worshipped the cat and punished anyone who dared to kill one. In the Middle Ages, however, the black cat was linked to witches and Satan. Since it was believed that a witch had the power to transform herself into a cat, it was thought likely that a cat who crossed one’s path was a witch in disguise.
SNEEZING
If you are in the presence of someone who sneezes, protect him from danger by saying “God bless you” or “ Gesundheit.” Other acceptable blessings are “Long may you live” and “May you enjoy good health.”
Origin: Ancient man believed that his breath was also his soul or “essence of life.” When God made man, he “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” A rapid departure of that breath—a sneeze—is the same as expelling life from one’s body. Also, it leaves a vacuum in the head that evil spirits can enter. Roman citizens feared sneezing when a plague hit their city during the reign of Pope Gregory the Great. Since they regarded the sneeze as a sure sign of approaching sickness, Pope Gregory instituted the use of the phrase “God bless you” to shield sneezers from any ill effects.
TO BE CONTINUED
THE PEOPLE'S LISTS | 1 | 2 | >
See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on Mar 9, 2009 wrote:
"You don’t say "Gesundheit" to ward off evil spirits, that’s bullshit. Gesundheit ist german and means "good health". It has to do with getting the sniffles, not with ancient spiritual mumbo jumbo."
Didn’t you see how it says "Other acceptable blessings are “Long may you live” and “May you enjoy good health.”" | | Anonymous, on Mar 8, 2009 wrote:
You don’t say "Gesundheit" to ward off evil spirits, that’s bullshit. Gesundheit ist german and means "good health". It has to do with getting the sniffles, not with ancient spiritual mumbo jumbo. | |
| mike d, on Mar 6, 2009 wrote:
the after drinking fart is a beast of bad luck. can also be up there with the first smoke after a huge night out, it’ll make you or break you. | | Anonymous, on Mar 6, 2009 wrote:
i don’t walk under ladders because i don’t want some dumbass to drop a hammer or paint can on me, not because of some trilogy bullshit. should i start ignoring yield signs too? | | Anonymous, on Mar 6, 2009 wrote:
Hmm.. I thought the "right" side of the bed was the "correct" side of bed. Didn’t know it actually meant the right-hand side. No wonder I’ve had a shitty week. | | Anonymous, on Mar 5, 2009 wrote:
Old guy just needs a shave. People haven’t been rocking the Burnsides look since 1864 for a reason. | | Anonymous, on Mar 5, 2009 wrote:
the worst luck is when you think you have a fart but it comes out a shit. that’s like at least 50 black cats-worth. | | Anonymous, on Mar 4, 2009 wrote:
dude’s first concern should be getting a bedside table. without that every morning is getting up on the wrong side. | | |
| mike d , on Mar 4, 2009 wrote:
hahah, the devil is fishing for some more sweet loving but the old man is having none of it, he probably wont even call. dick. | | Anonymous, on Mar 4, 2009 wrote:
people say that getting shat on by a bird is good luck.....this must be rubbish, c’mon you just got shit on you. | | Anonymous, on Mar 4, 2009 wrote:
We should start a tradition of it being extra bad luck to open umbrellas in subway stairwells because that crap pisses me off so much I want to strangle the lady that lives on the corner of Lafayette and Clinton. | | Anonymous, on Mar 4, 2009 wrote:
yeah, right! like i want even more salt to clean up. that doesn’t make a lick of sense. | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
I think dropping cell phones into toilets is the new mirror breaking. | |
| place kicker, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
if witches disguise themselves as cats, then why don’t kids that want to be witches for halloween dress up as cats. that would be meta as fuck. | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
if your irish its good luck for a cat to cross your path
apparently | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
that drawing makes the devil look nicer than the old man. i’d be more worried about getting off on his side. | |
| Taylor, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
Does anyone know where the Slug Bug superstition came from? I despise that one. | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
re: knocking on wood, me too. i almost bought that portable knock on wood pocket thing that was for sale last year. in fact, i considered it so strongly that that’s what made me realize how bad i was getting and it made me ween myself of this habit. | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
I am kind of weird about certain superstitions. I’m a big believer in knocking on wood... they should have including that one in here. | | Anonymous, on Mar 2, 2009 wrote:
the black cat origin one is kind of unsatisfying... it doesn’t really explain anything | | Anonymous, on Feb 28, 2009 wrote:
what?? Not walking under ladders is common sense. Usually people are working up on the ladder and shit gets dropped having a 16oz hammer fall on your head from ten feet up is all the bad luck you need. Duh... | | Anonymous, on Feb 28, 2009 wrote:
the ladder dates back to the druids, whose sacred spaces were open clearings. the entrance would be two logs or something tipped against each other. if you walk across the clearing you aren’t in the space, but if you walk through the doorway you’re intruding, and those druids were gnarly territorial fuckers. | | Anonymous, on Feb 27, 2009 wrote:
i wasn’t aware sneezes could ricochet like that. also, dude needs to get his nose checked out. looks like a scrotum. not a good sign. | |
| dingo dick, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
what happened to the devil? in the first one he’s all big and looking like he’s about to tempt you into doing something that will guarantee you’re not getting into heaven and the second one he looks like a ghost fart. does he have doubles sorta like saddam hussein? | | Anonymous, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
fucking superstitions. i was told that if a bird shat on you, t was good luck, and if it landed in your mouth, extra good luck...but obviously this is just a ploy to make a shitty situation seem better, which is better than making a regular situation, like seeing a black cat, seem like you had a close encounter of the satanic kind. fuckin romans and catholics are trying to destroy us with their ignorance! | | Anonymous, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
whenever i sneeze and some pavlovian dog inevitably wishes "god bless me," i immediately shoot back with a hearty "fuck you." the dark ages are over and done with dicks | | Anonymous, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
ive always considered my left testicle the "evil one." this explains the incessant plotting and anarchist newsletters it signs my email up for. | | Anonymous, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
NEVER TRUST A FART AFTER A NIGHT OF DRINKING | |
| zerotransfat, on Feb 26, 2009 wrote:
everybody knows that the left side is not evil. pass that shit to the left because the right way is wrong. | | Anonymous, on Feb 25, 2009 wrote:
the sun must despise chorus line dancers | | | Next 30 comments > |
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