NEWSLETTER

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by jeff johnson

Photo from Getty Recently, on June 12, 1994, O.J. Simpson’s ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson was stabbed to death in the stony Los Angeles enclave of Brentwood, California, along with 25-year-old waiter Ronald Goldman. I’ve never heard much about Brentwood, which sits just west of Beverly Hills—except in the Alex Cox film Repo Man, where a character says, “John Wayne was a fag… I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood.” It sounds like a crazy, ritzy place where the moneyed stars of the silver screen cross paths with allegedly murderous aging gridiron greats. Anyway, O.J. Simpson was arrested shortly thereafter and has been in custody ever since, and he’s on trial right now. There’s little doubt he will totally be found guilty and all’s well that ends well, even though this trial has turned our news cycle into a 24-hour event, made us see Larry King’s wizened mug more frequently than we’d prefer (how long can this man go on?), and, lastly, brought up unsettling national conversations about race not heard since Rodney King was beaten by the LAPD just three short years ago. We were lucky enough to score a midtrial interview with a star witness of the case, shaggy-haired blond beach bum/actor Kato Kaelin, who first lived for a year in a guesthouse at Nicole’s, then spent the six months prior to the murder living at O.J.’s. He’s been skewered for not paying rent. He’s been described as vacant and rambling on the witness stand. As for parlaying this exposure into more acting gigs, a casting director told the Los Angeles Times: “He’s got a good look, but he doesn’t project stability.” Still, we kind of like the guy.

Vice: People portray you as a loafer. As a houseboy. As a man willing to invite himself on a burger run with one of the greatest players in NFL history and not even possess the decency to steer the guy to In-N-Out instead of McDonald’s.
Kato Kaelin: That’s the biggest misconception I get. I do work. I’ve had my SAG card for seven years now.

You did commercials in the 1980s, right?
My first audition in California was for a Coca-Cola commercial, and I got it. Then I got a part in a film—a lead—in a movie called Beach Fever. If you’re ever on an aircraft carrier you might see it. Then I thought things might be easy, but it is very competitive here. So I worked at a restaurant called Bobby McGee’s, where employees dress up as a character, poke fun at the customers, and have fun. It was all actors.

And as the 1980s were unfolding, you also got married and had a kid? No one talks about that.
Yeah. I got married very young. I don’t know if you know anyone who was actually a virgin at marriage, but I was one of ’em. It’s that Catholic upbringing. In hindsight, I think that was a mistaaaaaake! When you have your reception at Chuck E. Cheese, you know you are too young.

Maybe it was your pure midwestern youth. You grew up near Milwaukee and then went to a university in a small city in Wisconsin. When and why would you leave placid Eau Claire, Wisconsin?
The whole thrust of me going to California was that I had a TV show at school with my friends and I said, “Oh, my God, I gotta do something bigger than Eau Claire.” I got that bug. I moved out to California in 1980.

But I heard you moved to California thinking you might play baseball?
In high school, my baseball team won the state championship, and I made the varsity team in Eau Claire my freshman year of college. I got a little cocky. I eventually transferred to Cal State, Fullerton, a great baseball school. I got out here, looked at the team, and compared to them I looked like I was maybe 12 or 13. This was when Mark McGwire played for USC, and they were in our conference. All these guys were just hulks. So I said, “No…” and then I started emceeing events in our college pub. And then I did a play and that was it.

What were the circumstances that led you to meeting O.J. Simpson?
After a while, I started a casting business with a partner, an acting buddy named Grant Kramer. Grant also had an acting studio and was on General Hospital. [Ed—That would be The Young and the Restless] We formed an extras company. We had a contract with a company that did these B films at the time. Lorenzo Lamas was in a lot of them. And Don “The Dragon” Wilson, who is a karate guy. I was a wrangler, so my hours were 14 to 15 hours a day, and that was pretty much all I did. The business did well, so Grant and I took a vacation to Aspen, where I met Nicole—Grant already knew her. I hit it off with her as friends. I was living in Hermosa Beach at the time, and the commute to work sucked, and she said I could move into her guesthouse in Brentwood. That’s how it all started. I lived one year at Nicole’s and six months at O.J.’s before June 12 happened.

So, a typical day in your life pre-June 12 wasn’t spent sponging off O.J. or hanging out with him all day?
O.J. and I are not guys that hang out. I was living in the back house, far from his house, but if I saw him, he was very friendly. If he called, I went out of my way to say, “Hey, what’s going on?” He has a lot of friends, but if he was lonely, he would definitely want to do something. He’d knock on the door…

Did you guys have any heart-to-heart chats in those six months, or did your relationship stay superficial?
At first, things were superficial, and then there were moments where he was going through phases—dating girls, wondering why he couldn’t find the right one or why Nicole was dating other people, and we’d talk. Bottom line, I think O.J. is the kind of guy that wants his cake and to eat a lot of cake from other people, too. He really does. He loves to be adulated by the crowd. He loves when people come up to him. But I don’t know a lot of what was going on in his house. I was out pretty much every night. I’m not really a partier, drugger kinda guy, but I’m around friends all the time. Always have stuff going on.

What was a night out like for you before the murder?
I guess dating girls, because I met a lot of them on film sets. And when I say dating, I mean just going out and having fun. You know how some people nowadays have car phones that actually work? I’d drive around with friends with this huge princess phone, with the rotary dial and a cord. As a joke. I’d make believe I was talking to people. And as we pulled up to another car, I would roll down the window and say, “Excuse me, it’s for you…” and I’d talk to the girl in the car next to me.

LA antics. Is O.J. sort of rudderless?
He golfs and plays cards a lot. He had a contract at NBC at the time, I think, announcing Notre Dame football games. He was on the board of 12 companies, and now, during the trial, they’ve all dropped him. One was Swiss Army Knives.

Did he charge you rent?
I’ve taken a beating as being this freeloader, but at Nicole’s I paid rent, and at O.J.’s, he said, “I don’t need any of your money.” I offered him rent money every month.

On the night of the murder, you tagged along with O.J. to McDonald’s… you couldn’t get him to go to In-N-Out or anything?
I run 10 to 15 miles a day. I do marathons in LA. I was starving, and I invited myself. I didn’t know we were going to McDonald’s. In retrospect, I think O.J. was hesitant to take me along, as if in his head he was going, “Oh, no, what do I do?” I think he was plotting something. I think I screwed up all sorts of timing for him.

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Comments

Anonymous, on Oct 22, 2009 wrote: i don’t think he’s always high. he’s just a doofus.
Anonymous, on Oct 22, 2009 wrote: OJ deliberately didn’t take his blood pressure medicine while on trial. Made his hands swell up.
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: Holy poop! The prophet of Reality TV!
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: How the fuck did Kato come up with Phil Spector as a possible person to mooch off of in the future? Is he attached to would-be murderers, or is this interview just totally fake?
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: Wait...Phil Spector being low-key reference? Is this real?
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: MC DONALDS rocks the house.
	Grant, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: I think OJ only kept Kato around to have a white guy that was dumber than he was within visiting distance at all times.
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: what if oj knew and just felt bad for the bastard
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: im sure he banged nicole when he lived there and now hes thanking his lucky stars oj never caught on.
	bum tickler, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: everyone loved mickey d’s back then. even bill clinton dropped in during his jogs for some of that delicious, preservative-filled, grade-b ground chuck.
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: personally i think kato did it
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: really people you listened to kato, i mean the guy is clearly high and sexin it up 24/7
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: I wonder what The Juice orders from McDonalds.
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: That is pretty amazing. Do you remember when Kato first hit the news channels and ladies thought he was hot for about ten minutes (aka before he opened his mouth).
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: fools, how are you all ignoring the most amazing part of this story? "A reality television show? Yeah, it is how TV will be in the future."
	poozer, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: oh yes... back when double-breasted suits looked like ship sails and double-homocide split a nation.
Anonymous, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: "the glove didnt fit people what can i say " really man? and i can make a magnum look too small for my dick too. he’s guilty as sin and now he’ll rot behind bars for another crime, but it’s better than nothing. dude is obviously insane.
	lazy eyez killa, on Oct 21, 2009 wrote: it was all champagne wishes and bruno magli dreams until juice had to kill his wife, wasn’t it, kato?
Anonymous, on Oct 16, 2009 wrote: yeah but its cause of the dried blood making the leather tighter, that bitch is guilty!
Anonymous, on Oct 16, 2009 wrote: the glove didnt fit people what can i say
Anonymous, on Oct 16, 2009 wrote: i wouldnt take anything this guy says seriously
Anonymous, on Oct 14, 2009 wrote: he went to mcdonalds with OJ?? epic!!
Anonymous, on Oct 13, 2009 wrote: double-breasted suit paired with gold chain and stainless steel belt tip? that’s classy.
	lowbrow, on Oct 12, 2009 wrote: the look on his face when they named him a hostile witness was the best part of the entire trial.
Anonymous, on Oct 12, 2009 wrote: the most famous houseguest ever in the world forever and ever amen.
Anonymous, on Oct 12, 2009 wrote: I watched Repo Man for the first time yesterday and I remember that exact line. What a great movie.
Anonymous, on Oct 12, 2009 wrote: ooh, I love throw backs to oj simpson. never gets old.
Anonymous, on Oct 11, 2009 wrote: prescience!