BY ROCCO CASTORO, PHOTOS BY JESS WILLIAMSON
THE MAIN EVENT - Continued
| Sometime near the end of hour four, Jacob reported feeling “something” and started with the shivers. He conceded that a few bullets were in the chamber but remained confident in his urge-suppression abilities. Matt also reported a cavitary sensation, while the gals were steadfast in their refusal that anything was coming down the pipe. |
|
Hours five and six featured more laxative tea and a second saltwater cleanse, along with more cigarettes, a tobacco-leaf-wrapped blunt, and beer. Then, for 30 minutes, it was a YouTubed Sweatin’ to the Oldies workout. Afterward, they “rested” on their right sides (a position that supposedly encourages swift passages through the viscera). Jacob said he felt sick and he farted in Grace’s face numerous times. |
| With dawn rapidly approaching and no perceivable shitstorms on the horizon, we decided to focus on boozing. It was the consensus that anyone could easily take the kids to the pool at this point, but no one was willing to go first.
|
|
As the eighth-cum-eleventh hour approached we resolved to do everything possible to empty their breadbaskets. This included a final dose of laxative tea, more alcohol, exercise, and turning the entrants against each other. Round-robin stomach presses seemed to cause some serious discomposure, unleashing a barrage of foul wind from at least three of our participants. |
CONTINUED
OH SHIT! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | >
| |
