NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

Anybody seen the A.R.E Weapons guys recently? Comments/Enlarge | See all


Her online name is deviant666, but when you boil it all down it’s essentially a shitty blow job followed by lying there like a log while Current 93 blares out of tiny iPod speakers. Comments/Enlarge | See all






RELATED ARTICLES

DR. LAKRA HAS A TATTOO OF A DEMO...
Vice: Where did you get the name Dr. L...
PARTYING IN PRISON
Shocking Out With Crazy Titch
VICE PICTURES
The Heroes Issue
VICE FASHION - TWO FRIENDS WATCH...
An Outdoor Cinema, by the Pool and in a C...





BY ROCCO CASTORO, PHOTOS BY JESS WILLIAMSON

THE MAIN EVENT - Continued

Immediately after the purging solution, the players engaged in some stomach-relaxing calisthenics. An article on the internet listed tummy rubbing, raised-arm swinging, toe touches, and the Bhujangasana (cobra) yoga position as ways to loosen up the guts when constipated. Right before dinner we brewed up a pot of Traditional Medicinals Smooth Move laxative tea, steeping both the chocolate and organic varieties. This stuff is supposed to take about eight hours to kick in, so we made enough for four servings apiece to maximize its effectiveness. From this point on, we administered it every two hours.

Following our first teatime everyone sat around for half an hour to let things settle. The guys claimed to have intermittent gurgling while Grace and Alexandra said everything felt OK down there. Matt’s postulation was that taking a leak would reflexively unclench the anus and cause a brown waterfall. After our little break, we soldiered on with coffee and smokes. Three of our contestants went for a piss within 15 minutes after finishing their java. Matt’s hypothesis was disproven when nary a turdlet was left behind.


CONTINUED
OH SHIT! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | >