VICE MAILLetters - The Sundaes Issue
You know what? No letters page this month. You know why? Because we aren’t receiving enough real letters. We mainly get emails now, and people don’t think when they write emails. They just pump them out, which makes them hard to reply to. We sat here and looked at like 50 emails we’ve gotten in the last couple days and it was really depressing. It’s like trying to come back to a burp or a fart. What can you say? “Nice fart”? “Subpar belch, but try again”?
And we used to get great letters. They would arrive in decorated envelopes along with goofy little tokens, tchotchkes, gizmos, and gifts inside—even cheap stuff like newspaper clippings or a photo or a drawing was nice. Now we just get retarded fucking emails along the lines of: “yo the artikel you did on those guys in that place doing that thing was fuckin crazyyyy!! what the hell man! shit was wild!?!?” or “vice fuck you you fucking fuckers sold the fuck out cancel my subscription fuckin vice fuck.”
In protest of this state of affairs, we are suspending the letters page for one month. We would like to formally do a wee curtsy and invite those among you, readers, who still have most of your fingers and know how to hold a pen, to send us actual, tangible letters. You can use a typewriter too, or a computer and then print it out.
We recently wanted to put together an issue that would have been made without the use of any computers at any point anywhere in its process. We found out that it was basically impossible. Or at least that’s what our publisher said. Maybe he was just thinking, “That is going to be really hard and cost a lot and so I am going to tell the editor it’s impossible for a bunch of made-up reasons so he will just leave me alone about it.” Still, it probably was kind of impossible. We could have typed everything and set it all by hand and done layouts on a big table with our sleeves rolled up using X-Acto knives and rubber cement, but if you think for one second that our printing press would have been able to do a run of the issue without any computers, then you haven’t made a magazine lately.
Anyway, we aren’t trying to get onto some “we are slaves to machines” stuff but damn can we just get some letters on paper again please? Or at least don’t send us an email until you’ve read it through twice and decided whether or not you really need us to read it. Chances are you don’t.
Send bullshit emails to vice@viceland.com (include city and state/province)
OR
send real letters written on real paper like a real person to Vice Magazine, 97 North 10th Street, Suite 204, Brooklyn, NY 11211.
In Scandinavia write to VICE at St. Eriksgatan 48 A, SE-112 34 Stockholm. Send letters there or to info@viceland.se.
In the UK write to VICE at 77 Leonard Street, London, EC2A 4QS. Send letters there or to letters@viceuk.com
In Australia send letters to Mailbox 61, 278 Church St, Richmond, Victoria 3121 or to stuff@viceaustralia.com
Letters are edited for length.
 Anonymous, on Aug 31, 2008 wrote:
how about a do’s and don’ts edition compiled by readers and featuring vice staffers? | | Anonymous, on Aug 29, 2008 wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that all of you are living a life of constant hypocrisy. I find it hysterical that you love to hate me. I think it’s lovely that you waste your time on me. Thank you. I truly appreciate it. And to tell you the truth, it’s probably the only thing that keeps me going. So keep on trying to make me feel low. If anything, you make me feel grand. So boys and girls, let’s all celebrate the fact that all you hipsters are done. I mean seriously, does everybody want to wear tight jeans the rest of their lives, and does everybody want to wear flannels, and does anybody ever wash their hair? Hey! Have a drink on me. | | Anonymous, on Aug 29, 2008 wrote:
i’ve looked through your mag. the letters page is normally the best part of it. not saying much i know. Your articles of modo type titillation dressed up as risky political journalism really show some promise though, really. Especially one from the photo journalist from naples and corresponding interview. but in other places their credibility is ruined by the faux slacker pose with lazy ’the official figures are xxxx... but we’d place that at xxxxxxx (triple the amount(. Who’s ’we’? Oh you mean Vice staffers... hahaha.
You’ve got to do something about that owning all content shit you put in small print too. if you do i might be assed to create a profile. | | Anonymous, on Aug 27, 2008 wrote:
hey, it’s the drunk lady again... two days after my birthday and I still have a half a peeled banana stuck up my vag! Help! | | Anonymous, on Aug 25, 2008 wrote:
this is the drunk lady again tomorrow is my bday so to celebrate i took a trip to london i stayed at the sanderson and drank every night and took a trip to stringfellows to find blow. and i did. now im back in the us of a and i love it. thank god. any how about all the ppl that have mean comments to say about me piss off. im just speaking my mind. its just a little more drunk when your belligerent. and i know i cant spell but hey is that really my point? happy birthday to me! | | Anonymous, on Aug 23, 2008 wrote:
good article if i wasnt lazy and had something to say i would write you a lovely letter | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
Unless this is a brilliant move to save money by shortening your publication size. This is not a wise move. With the industry the way it is, you shouldn’t alienate readers further. You want people to spend half a dollar to send you a comment? Don’t expect them to spend money on subscriptions or issues either. | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
I agree with the anon who said ...
<<< Before you spend an entire page complaining about the standard of letters that you are getting from readers, perhaps you should stop and consider for a second whether the intellectual capacities of your readership is a direct reflection on the type of material that you publish in the first place. >>>
Exactly what I wanted to say. The drunk poster isn’t proving the edit staff right — she’s proving this guy right. Kudos, anonymous pussy.
--Another Anonymous Pussy | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
Dear drunk person with several posts below,
Shouldn’t you be using your drunkeness to do more useful things, like having fun with your friends, dancing or meeting new people? Spending time on the Vice comments board is a bitter and wasteful activity best done while sober and at work.
You might as well call and abuse your uncle who touched you when you were 8.
Sincerely,
Anon. | | Anonymous, on Aug 18, 2008 wrote:
hey douche bags you know what? at least my drunk rubbish is more interesting then your complaints....and who said im looking for free shit. please my whole life is free. any how.... i love all you buggers. please tell me i suck more waste your time on me. please. drunk bitch. | | Anonymous, on Aug 18, 2008 wrote:
to the Anonymous bitch that just wrote a small moon worth of shit - you just proved the entire article correct. Thank ye. | | Anonymous, on Aug 17, 2008 wrote:
hey anonymous girl who wrote the most recent big chunk of rubbish, nobody at vice is even going to think about boning you or giving you a free subscription until you learn to write in a way that is remotely comprehensible | | Anonymous, on Aug 17, 2008 wrote:
ok seriously i think theirs a dude in my closet....i keep checking. but i still hear him. i am going crazy.i think i should sleep one of these days.gross i just dropped my bologna sandwiche. | | Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
ok ....its the drunk again...... alll of you little fuckin hipster whatevers need to get it.....do YOU understand how hard it is to run a free magazine that you have the nerve to rag on. are you fucking kidding me., vice is awesome. vice is the mag for the les. vice is a vice . and obviousioly you have an addiction.....with running your goddam mouth. dont ask. just share. tell the world your crazy stories, dont insult your eldors (im so drunk i cannot spell) but really why all these dumb questions...."im DISSAPOINTED IM A PUSSY I LICK ASS I LOVE TO SUCK BALLLS AND MOST OF ALL I SMELL LIKE A DIRTY TWAT" stop it these guys are just doin their thing who are you to come along and ask stupid questions.start your own magazine. i really dont think people realize the mag is free. for some reason you all built up this strange mentality that your actually supporting them. shut up. vice is great. i remember the first time i saw work by vice. it was a book called do’s and dont’s. my bf at the time gave it to me for valentines and then i went to barnes and nobles to hear some dude ridicule others out loud from the book....great@! i loved it. and then i got the sex drugs and rock n roll book. didnt interest me as much only because i already know about every drug but i still cherished it.i wanted dude to sign my book but i was embaressed. i actually had questions, but i get shy if im not high.yeah vice is great. if you want to talk shit then just give up on all fun. the whole mag in my perspective is just being able to take a break from the norm. like a deep breath of belligerance. cmon guys why cant we just all get along. do i need to go to the store and buy you some hatorade! | | Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
hey vice , wanna hear a "comment" fuck you pay me..... any how im sick and tired of searching for my do or dont pic when i’m fucked up out of my skull. i found a pic of me in son terry ri.....; book but no do or dont.....i actually want a dont. maybe cause by nature i am a dont wich makes me a do that cant spell. the other day i performed an extreme dont....walked out of sway and puked in bursts it was gross. im gonna go back in two weeks. i had about 8 shots of tequila. then i pissed on some dude the other day. that was fun .... it was his first time. awwww my little virgin of golden showas. the other day my best friends daughter (she is 17) said " yo i think that nigga had interior motives" cmon now thats funny .viva las vegas. i used to live in that hell hole. any how fun fun fun im fucked up. im actually going to submit this blabber.im going to london next week and im worried. last time i got on an international flight i got kicked off for yelling at some perv seven year old from paris. this time i wont do drugs. i swear.....maybe...no really. the other night i got into a fight with some asian dude by the way im a girl not a lady. kicked him in the balls and showed him a real malary time. i broke a mirror. now if i was to go in extreme detail of who i am you would probably know me. but its fun to just vent. my name is houdini....damn im drunk listenening to elvis.dont be cruel. | | Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
so if vice hates it’s readers so much then why is it still making it’s magazine?
so they can make a killing in advertising and free junk and have parties with useless celebrities like peaches geldof and alexa chunK | | Anonymous, on Aug 15, 2008 wrote:
i’ll wrte ya a letter
i’ll write ya a letter you’ll not ever soon forget
fuckas! | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
I wish we could all get along like we did in middle school, and we could bake a cake made of rainbows and smiles, and we could all eat it and be happy. | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
You might want to pay attention to how poor many of the articles are that you print before you have the nerve to criticise reader’s letters. | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
Before you spend an entire page complaining about the standard of letters that you are getting from readers, perhaps you should stop and consider for a second whether the intellectual capacities of your readership is a direct reflection on the type of material that you publish in the first place.
You appear to go out of your way to write about such mind-bogglingly trivial things at times, do you really think stuff like that is going to solicit the attention of intelligent, readers?
Of course not.
Whatever audience of that kind you may have had in the past have almost certainly, like me, moved on now reading something a great deal more meaningful.
Look at what your beef if here - that people do not go out of their way to mail off actual physical letters to you, printed on paper and sent off to you in the mail??!!
Why the hell should the readers inconvenience themselves like that?
The next thing you will be complaining about is that they are not using quills and parchment too.
Get over yourselves for God sakes.
Stop whining about nothing.
If you don’t want such retarded readers then try publishing something that will appeal to people with an I.Q. higher than pond life. | | Anonymous, on Aug 13, 2008 wrote:
get a freepost address, 36p for a stamp, fuck off. | | Anonymous, on Aug 12, 2008 wrote:
so basically they want us to go the effort of sending them actual letters just so they can make some kind of nasty one line comment about it in their magazine
| | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
in protest of vice magazine making it official that it is now a douche rag, i am making a bullshit blog post to say that vice has lost any lustre it once had and now sucks so hard that they have to beg for letters because no one feels that their magazine is worth the time to actually sit down and write about. it is not even worth reading anymore. | |
| neezy, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
n00bs | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
wait, what about, like, the environment or whatever | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
what are you talking about? the Mexico issue was nothing but obnoxious journalism pieces. | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
i would write something, but you guys haven’t any great articles in the past couple months. your videos of toxicity are journalistic. most articles online are shorter than my comment that is why i barely care anymore. | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
it’s true that 90% of the magazines out there have their interns/staff write the letters because, outside of fucking octogenarian manifestos like harper’s and the atlantic, no one gives a fuck anymore. opinions and criticism and analysis are pretty much confined to the realm of academia, or at least those are the only people who seem to care. oh, them and asshole’s on gawker who want to debate whether or not heath ledger deserves an oscar for playing a fucking comic book character. | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
you know what? me neither. | | Anonymous, on Aug 11, 2008 wrote:
I bet you new cunts at vice are so good at sucking cock now you don’t even flinch when you get asked to swallow.
blow me | | | Next 30 comments > |
| |
