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If you try to turn small tits into big tits you end up with big little tits, which is the same as those Canadian postcards that say, “Moosejaw’s Provincial Bird,” and have a huge cartoon mosquito.
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We were just wondering what happened to all the great drunken assholes when this hero whipped in, downed two free beers, started a fight, and managed to piss off half the bar before being thrown out—all over the course of five minutes. If his father could see him, he'd be proud to have passed down the family jacket. Comments/Enlarge | See all

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Quit pretending to be weird. You’ve got perfect genes and your parents are richer than God. You should be lounging around a castle on a mountaintop and generally getting the fuck out of anywhere we hang out.Comments/Enlarge | See all