ASS INVADERSThe Vice Guide to Milking Your Prostate
BY JAMES KNIGHT, PHOTOS BY BEN RAYNER
Hey, guess what? If you are an American man you are more likely to have cancer in your prostate than any other part of you. It’s also more likely to kill you than any other form of cancer. Oh, and there is also the extra bonus of a 35 percent higher chance of your prostate going sour than your girlfriend getting breast cancer. Bummer.
But in fact, if you are literally a bummer (that’s British for homosexual), you are more likely than a straight guy to avoid dying from prostate cancer. Want to know why? Then listen up...
Over the last five years, prostate milking has exploded in popularity within the queer and BDSM scenes. Draining the little fella involves getting something stimulating stuck up your bum and jiggling the walnut-sized prostate sack until it gets so excited it makes you involuntarily secrete a dollop of seminal fluid. PS: Why can’t I stop laughing every time I reread that last sentence?
As fun as shooting your wad without even fiddling with your dick might sound, getting over the whole fingering your asshole bit has kept milking mainly confined to ye gayes—especially the fisting fetishists among them. But with increasing medical evidence showing that relieving the prostate of fluid buildups (coupled with regular checkups) can help prevent the big C word, maybe we all need to start shoving things up our asses and frantically rubbing.
I, for one, would rather not have ass cancer. So I learned how to milk my prostate, and I did so while my friend Ben took photos.
| While fiddling with your finger can get results, the whole process is a lot easier with a specifically designed prostate-massaging thing. It’s called an Aneros. I kept telling myself it wasn’t a dildo, but basically it is. You can get one lickety-split in your local gay sex shop. The one we went to was around the corner from the Vice office in East London. |
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See all articles by this contributor Anonymous, on Aug 24, 2008 wrote:
craptastic!!! it is much safter to use another colour than red when trying this. as suggested git walls are easily torn. be safe, lube up and move up your sizes straight boys...like i need to tell you. yr already doin it, dirty skirtys | | Anonymous, on Aug 24, 2008 wrote:
Dude! I don’t care if they ARE your best pair of briefs, if they got a shit stain worked all the way through, you DON’T have your picture taken in them.
And take care of that rug-burn on you chin! (Didn’t your parents teach you anything?) | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
This guy looks like he has been eating his little sister’s pills for a few months? Maybe it wasn’t quite as fun as he expected ’cos he managed to hormonally displace his prostate. Perhaps he’ll find it in the next issue of Eve magazine. | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
My mate’s a nurse. She’s told me some lad had a carrot up his jacksy and spurted something similar to that photo when she removed it. She has a lot of stories to tell. | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
What a great sport. Sure this was done in a lighthearted and open minded way, but its a serious issue. So well done for covering it! | | Anonymous, on Aug 22, 2008 wrote:
Mate, so funny yet so serious. oh god, maybe I get my girl to do it for me. ha ha | | Anonymous, on Aug 21, 2008 wrote:
you got some serious piss stains o the front of your yellow y fronts there | | Anonymous, on Aug 21, 2008 wrote:
im somehow really curious to try it, fuck it, i might aswell. those 5 minutes are VERY appealing | | Anonymous, on Aug 21, 2008 wrote:
i like the idea of him digging around up there in the dark. | | Anonymous, on Aug 21, 2008 wrote:
Kudos for this James... everyone knows guys who don’t mind getting pegged get WAY more action... | | Anonymous, on Aug 21, 2008 wrote:
You wouldn’t stink of shit if you’d showered beforehand you dirty bastard. | | Anonymous, on Aug 18, 2008 wrote:
So this is what they give the ladies. I understand that any time there is a naked dude you have to play the gay angle because content isn’t worth anything to you pricks if it’s primarly geared toward women, but just once in a blue fucking moon could we get some good honest girl boner material? | | Anonymous, on Aug 17, 2008 wrote:
I’d allow the guy in the picture to have his way with me; he’s incredibly hot. | | Anonymous, on Aug 17, 2008 wrote:
STRAIGHT GUYS HAVE TO STOP ACTING LIKE THEY DON’T LIKE THEIR ASSES PLAYED WITH. | | Anonymous, on Aug 17, 2008 wrote:
This was kind of gross and yet hot. I think the guy who did this is pretty awesome and imagine he would be fucking great in the sack. | | Anonymous, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
use it on bella pleese LOL haha | |
| Bane, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
ps, weed works a lot better than coke or poppers with this thing. | | |
| Bane, on Aug 16, 2008 wrote:
I can actually vouch for this. My girlfriend gave me one of these prostate massagers as a birthday present, and since then I’ve been having regular screaming, shaking, full-body orgasms. It’s no joke. I called bullshit but I was dead wrong. Research it for yourself. | | Anonymous, on Aug 15, 2008 wrote:
Isn’t this the type of thing you give to the interns?
Sorry to bring up Nathan Barley, but what’s next, wanking off builders in the toilet of a council estate pub? | | Anonymous, on Aug 15, 2008 wrote:
a doctor once massaged my prostate during an exam and I had an instant and intense orgasm that I’ve never forgot... it’s true, you must use it or lose it | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
funny article | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
I hope this trend catches on. Fingers crossed pray to god begging please. Imagine taking coppers or jocks seriously if deep down you knew, they did this to themselves once a month(!)
| | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
nice article. to be honest i thought this guy was just some crap model after seeing him in the festival issue, wearing about 10 identical outfits, but now i know he has a purpose. to stick bits of plastic right up his dirt hole. yay. respect blood | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
HOT. this is a real moist-maker... | | Anonymous, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
James, i’d gladly do you up the shitter any time. | |
| neezy, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
I smell some going-to-be-offline soon pictures | | |
| neezy, on Aug 14, 2008 wrote:
The reason that sentence is cracking you up so much probably would have to do with the word "dollop" and the (possibly) general impression that you have to take an ice-cream scooper to measure out a dollop of anything so it’s a good image | | Anonymous, on Aug 13, 2008 wrote:
skidmarks. lol | | Anonymous, on Aug 13, 2008 wrote:
Oh please, he’s wearing a pair of yellow briefs (or Y-fronts as the limeys say) with no identifying tags or marks on them. By all accounts they are from AA, but when did everyone on this site become the editorial department for adbusters? | | Anonymous, on Aug 13, 2008 wrote:
What’s with the poop stain on your ass | | | < Previous 30 comments | Next 30 comments > |
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