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It’s slightly disappointing that no one in this majestic land actually looks like Frodo or Xena. Yes, that is all most of us know about New Zealand. Oh, and Flight of the Conchords, which isn’t the funniest thing ever, but it’s a little bit funny once in awhile. Eagle Vs. Shark was pretty good too—like Napoleon Dynamite but with cute accents and kind of sadder. What other good movies were made in New Zealand? Oh yeah, Heavenly Creatures. That’s an old fave. So anyway, instead of mythical creatures and lesbian schoolgirls, what we have here is a bunch of young cool kids being cool in their cool clothes that, we are slowly coming to realize, are the same cool clothes as everywhere else in the world. Globalization blah blah blah.
Nevertheless, New Zealanders look like a pretty good time. It’s like new rave never stretched its poisonous tentacles all the way over there or something. NZ girls are good at mix ’n’ match. High-end designer pieces (Yohji Yamamoto Y’s, Zambesi) are carefully thrown together with more “street” items and bits of vintage. A simple black-and-white outfit accented with a Chanel purse plus arm tattoos plus pink hair with long bangs plus Docs equals “Let’s do this.” And wait, is that a tattoo of the Little Mermaid on her arm? OK, fine, let’s fucking do this.
Everything is black-and-white, and color only occurs in the context of a perfect plaid shirt, which is harder to find than you think. Again, the preppy look for boys is a big winner, with a nice, muted-color Comme des Garçons cardigan and other tried-and-true classics, while the more metrosexual types keep up the snazz with either a slick cyberpunk vibe or a hobo kind of look. (Actually, hey, the guy in the floppy felt hat here is almost approaching hobbit territory!)
Finally, all boys have uniformly decided, “Fuck it, let’s carry tote bags, what the hey.” |
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| Photos: Sam Crawford; text: Jimmy Johnson |
TO BE CONTINUED
GLOBAL TREND REPORT 2008 | New York | LA | London | Amsterdam | Helsinki | Montreal | Tokyo | Paris | Melbourne | New Zealand | Berlin | Barcelona | Copenhagen | Stockholm | Milan | Antwerp | Vienna |
COMMENTS
Anonymous, on Jul 4, 2008 wrote:
everyone in that pic looks like there from auckland! so..... boring | | Anonymous, on Jun 29, 2008 wrote:
Haha, i’m a guy and i once went to new zealand, and a store put the clothes i bought in a red bag, so i was carrying it around the city and i happened to talk to random strangers who all assumed the ugly shopping bag was my man purse, saying things like, ’so you like red??’ i thought it was hilarious, but now i understand | |
Date: Jun 01 2008 12:49:59 AM
Author: poppy
wow guys chill out. they look all look pretty banging. cyber punk is hot. and the tattoo girl looks rad
Date: May 20 2008 08:18:49 PM
Author: wolfman
the guys are all incredibly gay except the last guy the hobo look is working pretty well.
oh and the girls in all the trend reports have been fucking ugly. common vice i know you've got some fine imported ass stashed away somewhere.
Date: May 04 2008 06:56:01 AM
Author: SOUF ISLANDER
um the north island is shit too, there are just more people there who read style blogs, copy everyhing they wear/do, and wish they lived in new york
Date: Apr 29 2008 04:53:13 AM
Author: Says the New Zealander
actually nobody here looks this shiny. most of the "fashionable" people wear second-hand clothes and honest to god, there is so much more colour than this would suggest. Except in the South Island, nothing fucking happens there.
Date: Apr 28 2008 09:37:18 PM
Author: pffffft
hahaha, this is pretty much the most inaccurate thing ever. this basically makes new zealanders look like the worst dressed, sleep-inducing sacks of crap ever. the second guy, sam focus, works at fucking zambesi (hence his 'look'), the most derrivative and bland design house ever, so no wonder he looks like fashion trash.
also, clearly, all of these people are from auckland. the shittiest city in the southern hemisphere.
ya-awn!
Date: Apr 26 2008 12:11:43 AM
Author: oh shit!
Yeah, African trend report! I'll bet Dakar or Lagos would be the most interesting yet. I am %100 serious and wouldn't be surprised if half the folks in the next global trend report don't take quite a few things from the continent. Damn!
Date: Apr 25 2008 01:34:40 AM
Author: TFI
Why do the birds fly upsidedown over NZ?
Cause its not worth shitting on. Much less writing about.
Date: Apr 24 2008 06:58:35 PM
Author: Haley
Goddamn, do you guys think ANYTHING is funny?
Flight of the Conchords are amaziiing
Date: Apr 24 2008 02:36:36 PM
Author: Zigz
Wow, what a horribly written piece of trite bullshit. Does anybody believe this shit?
Date: Apr 24 2008 12:50:55 PM
Author: Jack-o
bad taste ?
Brain dead ?
Date: Apr 24 2008 05:10:17 AM
Author: African
where is the African trend report? seriously...
Date: Apr 24 2008 12:26:16 AM
Author: Lone Black Guy
Not so much a global trend report as a white people trend report
Date: Apr 23 2008 05:45:55 PM
Author: Hairy Dog
This is so inaccurate its not even funny
Date: Apr 23 2008 05:05:12 PM
Author: le stinktarde
where the fuck is this new zealand you speak of? who gives a hoo-ha?
Date: Apr 23 2008 12:18:37 PM
Author: TRSHMSTR
ok so new-zealand is a city now... what is Belgium ? a house ?
Date: Apr 23 2008 12:07:05 PM
Author: .
Fuck the 2 dudes closest to the bottom. The ladies on the on hand.. fuck!
Date: Apr 23 2008 11:50:07 AM
Author: Fashion, Shmashion
When will this ever end?
Date: Apr 23 2008 08:38:59 AM
Author: ello
i thought johnny depp lived in gay old paris. that guy is trying sooooooo hard. i wouldnt even attempt to talk to him because i would probably not be worthy in his eyes
Date: Apr 23 2008 07:20:30 AM
Author: hooray
finally! i thought I was the only person in the world who thought flight of the concords wasn't funny.
Date: Apr 23 2008 05:44:17 AM
Author: mattatat
come on, arm tattoo girl is fucking smokin'
Date: Apr 23 2008 04:37:26 AM
Author: ---
Flight of the Conchords is from New Zealand. and it's a hell of a lot funnier than Vice.
Date: Apr 23 2008 02:59:05 AM
Author: umm
almost all white people in all of these..... why?
Date: Apr 23 2008 02:36:30 AM
Author: Faceholder
When did New Zealand become a city? Should be titled Auckland, except for the homeless looking guy. He belongs in Wellington. And the cyberpunk dude. He belongs in the insinkerator.
Date: Apr 23 2008 01:05:53 AM
Author: .
cyberpunk dude looks gnarly
Date: Apr 23 2008 12:22:36 AM
Author: Goombah
Wow, apparently NZ is fucking whack.
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