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There are three looks dominating the UK right now. The first one is kind of a toned-down streetwear thing. You see, rap fans used to be happy to line up for hours outside the BAPE shop to pay a few hundred pounds for day-glo Dunks and pink camo hoodies that looked like something from an old Britney Spears video. But with the arrival of the whole misguided new-rave thing and the proliferation of fake BAPE among rude boys from Forest Hill, everybody’s been forced to tone down their attire and have turned to more grown-up looks like peacoats, muted plaid shirts, Marc Jacobs Vans, and Dickies.
Next we have “retrogoth.” The Horrors have given an unlimited pussy license to every spooky-looking boy in London. But we’re not talking huge studded boots and PVC chokers—this look is more like a skinny version of Beetlejuice: spray-on black jeans, pointy black shoes, black or white shirts, and a ton of eyeliner. They carry books in the pockets of their fitted blazers, bleak novels that act as magnets to impressionable young girls in search for intellectual lovers. The goth ladies, in turn, have gone in a 1940s direction that emits an aura of prudish convent teacher meets futuristic, bowl-cut man-eater. The sex factor of the female retrogoth hinges entirely on the shoes—these are pivotal in the balance between prude and freak. If they opt for the brogues then they look scholarly. If they go for vintage heels they look like the best idea ever.
And finally, we have “grunge,” aka East London hardcore kid / hipster / illustrator-DJ-fucking-whatever’s preferred look. What’s hotter than sweet little girls with huge hardcore tats? Nothing. Yes, I know, they will look like veiny old scrotums when they’re 60, but if you are trying to fuck 60-year-olds then their complexion is the least of your problems. These young ladies all go to live shows at Rough Trade stores and carry tote bags. The overriding look is a cartoonish imbalance between tiny, skinny, Lycra-clad legs and huge bomber jackets. This lack of proportion can be evened out with the careful application of fucking massive loose-laced Docs. The guys, on the other hand, are all about beat-up Vans, white socks, and black drainpipe jeans, topped off with a waxed Barbour jacket and a charity-shop plaid shirt. These guys look pretty serious until about 1:30 AM, at which point they take their shirts off and throw each other around in the club while screaming along in a vaguely homoerotic manner to Integrity or sometimes a tune called something like “Nervous Breakdance”, which I think is by The Black Flags. |
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| Photos: Ben Rayner; styling: Aldene Johnson |
TO BE CONTINUED
GLOBAL TREND REPORT 2008 | New York | LA | London | Amsterdam | Helsinki | Montreal | Tokyo | Paris | Melbourne | New Zealand | Berlin | Barcelona | Copenhagen | Stockholm | Milan | Antwerp | Vienna |
COMMENTS
Date: May 25 2008 06:56:18 PM
Author: wolfman
don't mock black flag, henry rollins will find you and curb stomp the shit out of you
Date: May 19 2008 05:43:50 AM
Author: a
this is the best thing ever. next time can you please format it so we can guess which cities are which.
Date: May 08 2008 08:37:34 AM
Author: Tony, London (orig Liverpool)
Were you bullied at school, Theo? By the way, Theo (!) – what sort of beaut's name is that?
No wonder you're angry.
Date: May 01 2008 02:52:44 PM
Author: theo
tony, no one cares, students are the only people that matter. you nark.
Date: Apr 29 2008 05:14:25 AM
Author: Tony, London (orig Liverpool)
The only person in any of these pics with a clue is the Frog preppy bloke – he looks boss, esp his Spring Court trainees. Everyone else looks like, well everyone else. Problem with trend reports is that they always focus on students, fashion types, beauts etc. In Liverpool this year, as for the last three years, everyone who isn't a student is wearing black. Again. Black kecks, black North Face jacket/or Barbour quilt job and the ubiquitous Lowe Alpine climbing hat. In summer it'll be shorts but with white Stan Smiths and pulled-up black socks. There ALWAYS one with a broken arm as well. And still nobody wears Nike. Since 1976 and the famous switch from flares to wedge haircuts, straight jeans and trainees at the Charity Shield against Southampton, Liverpool's been an Adidas town. Danke Adi.
Date: Apr 21 2008 12:00:57 PM
Author: monstris
Why do people think posing with their toes pointing towards each other makes them look fashionable? I've seen Iraqi mine victims with ill-fitting artificial legs who adopt the same stance but not by choice.
Date: Apr 21 2008 08:52:50 AM
Author: ~
I think maybe condensing the fashion trends of a city with 7 million people in it down to just 3 styles per gender is inevitably going to miss out quite a few. The bottom girl looks about right, and the middle guy, but the bottom guy is the first I've seen of anyone in London dressing like that.
Date: Apr 19 2008 08:01:44 AM
Author: .
this is inaccurate.
Date: Apr 17 2008 08:40:52 AM
Author: I have been to london, honest
so, what picture goes with what description?
On the right, I'm guessing they put both the proto-goth girls at the bottom, and that must be the grunge look at the top
but with the guys, I can see one who has more in common with a sort of party-of-five early nineties american grunge thing, and the next one down seems to be dressed like a skinny hiphop fan, but from the text, it seems ike hiphop is the top one and grunge is underneath.
have they gone full cycle?
tell me I haven't mixed the whole load up and got confused over the retro goth kid aswell
Date: Apr 14 2008 08:52:50 PM
Author: DODI
hahahahaaooo shit london should stop talking about being london and just be london, because it just sounds shitty when you do.
sorry, theres no avoiding it.
places talking about themselves is for new york or weird south american countries. its not an english thing. it's like putting ketchup on your porridge or something.
Date: Apr 11 2008 07:02:20 AM
Author: Glo
as a londoner, these seem a little off. also, everyone knows the horrors look is only for 14 year olds who desperately want to be part of a 'subculture' and will have that same 'what the fuck was I thinking?!' revelation we all had when we looked back on it when we were 18.
Date: Apr 11 2008 05:27:07 AM
Author: JAMES KNIGHT
HA YOU LOOK STOOPID.
Date: Apr 10 2008 10:24:24 PM
Author: real american patriot, USA
geez I feel so relieved
british people suck too
Date: Apr 10 2008 08:09:48 PM
Author: GHZHZHH
All of these cities look the same. "Big trend in New York - Plaid!" "Big trend in London - Plaid!"
also, skinny jeans!
They all dress the same in every city, just replace the neighborhood names.
Date: Apr 10 2008 06:06:42 PM
Author: frank
the pictures are out of order.
Date: Apr 10 2008 04:35:23 PM
Author: Kompute
"there is only one guy in the whole golbal trend report who isn't wearing skinny/tight jeans and it's that guy with the 3/4 lenghts..."
Guess why dipshit? they are "Trendy"
Date: Apr 10 2008 03:57:10 PM
Author: ...
hold your horses, first, the globe's a pretty big place. Just wait till they get to Arabia.
Date: Apr 10 2008 03:46:54 PM
Author: nibby
oh-skinny jeans-there's an idea!
Date: Apr 10 2008 02:03:20 PM
Author: first?!?!!?
there is only one guy in the whole golbal trend report who isn't wearing skinny/tight jeans and it's that guy with the 3/4 lenghts...
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