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DOS & DON'TS

While the nation's youth are bitching about how there's nothing to do tonight and the nation's Boomers are bitching about how they're not young enough to do anything tonight, once more the greatest generation is soldiering on without complaint, turning every night out into a David Lynch movie. Comments/Enlarge | See all

Remember that scene in the movie Twister when the tornado touched down right in the middle of the douchebag factory and sprayed hot, unhomogenized douche all over the countryside? Comments/Enlarge | See all

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DOS & DON'TS

Um, if you’re trying to gross us out you chose the wrong wardrobe, Amy. What is that, a denim-skirt belt? And white jeans? Strangers With Horny more like. [Too bad the movie was so awful we walked out of it—Ed.]
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PENRY'S PET PORTRAITURE

J. Penry, one of our favorite illustrators, is now offering his services as a pet portraitist. Now you too can own a precious artwork depicting your furry beloved rendered in Penry’s signature style, with a dash of panache and whimsy. Eventually Penry hopes to collect all these portraits in a book. Won’t that make a lovely keepsake?

Contact J. Penry for more info and pricing.

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